Freak of the Week: The Celebrity Freak

Yes my good freaks and friends it is once again time to crown a new Freak. The highly sought after title is once again up for grabs. This week your assignment should you choose to accept it is to name the freakiest celebrity of them all. Just choose your celebrity and give a brief description of why they are truly deserving of the Celebrity Freak title. The celebrity and description deemed the freakiest by the Freak Finding Panel of Judges will attain the most lauded title in the entire blogosphere.

Good luck and may the freak be with you.

22 Responses to “Freak of the Week: The Celebrity Freak”

  1. Angelina Jolie. Hands down

    She wore Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck in a vial for a bit, fer crissakes!

    He wore hers too, but that sucks.

  2. For me, it would have to be Hugh Grant. How cheap is Hugh? He earns squillions being a typical English prat in movies and he can’t fork out the cash for an uptown hooker. Noooooooooo, tight as a fish’s asshole, Hugh, gets busted getting a blowjob from a hooker in a car.

    Just as an aside – what’s wrong with wearing someone’s blood around your neck?

  3. Oh, this should be an interesting contest. I have to come back and check the entries. I’m still trying to think of one of my own too.

  4. I’m going to say Dennis Rodman. He is notorious for his controversial antics. I loved him when he was part of the Chicago Bulls. Of course he had to try to stand out off the court (playing with Michael Jordan… who is/was THE BEST EVER). Dennis dyed his hair in artificial colors, presented himself with many piercings and tattoos and regularly disrupted games by clashing with opposing players and officials. He famously wore a wedding dress to promote his autobiography, proclaimed his bisexuality and lived a flamboyant gay lifestyle. Rodman pursued a high-profile affair with singer Madonna (yes, another total FREAK) and was briefly married to actress Carmen Electra. That man is the epitome of FREAK! Evyl, It’d be cool if I could email you some pictures of my freak, I have a few gems!!! Tell me if that’s ok?

  5. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    I have several submissions, the first of which will be, for no particular reason, Francis E. Dec, Esq. What makes Dec a freak? Paranoid Schizophrenia! he lived alone in a house he slowly dismantled from the inside, writing long rants about a Gangster Computer God that was manipulating world events and would steal people’s brains and store the stolen brains in jars on the moon, enslaving the now-brainless bodies while piping entertaining hallucinations into the brains stored on the dark side of the moon (this was the Frankenstein Control Program).

    Dec wrote long, elaborate rants about the Gangster Computer God and it’s Jew-mulatto minions with their posonous touch-taban needles running the frankenstein control program and watching him on eyesight-television to attempt to read his brainthoughts, and mailed these rants to the media. some radio hosts recorded themselves reading the rants, and these recordings are at the website I linked to.

    Long after Dec’s death, some sci-fi writers took a liking to his theories and based The Matrix movies on his paranoid crazy ravings. He’s one of my freaky heros.

  6. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    next up is a literary freak, Philip K Dick. the story of his freakishness begins innocently enough – he was a sci-fi writer and acidhead int he 1960s. One day he helps out a stranded motorist by bringing them to a gas station to get some gas and driving them back to their stranded vehicle, and he’s baffled because he’d written about the event, including conversations he and the motorist held with the gas station attendant, months previously in his novel “Flow my tears, the policeman said.” Well aware that he was maybe too brain-addled from the drugs to process this correctly, he went to see a priest about it.

    the priest showed him the Book of Acts, which contained an old-timey rendition of this same stranded-traveller situation with similar dialogue and everything, and based on this old PKD decided taht the modern world was an illusion and we were still living in Biblical times. President Nixon is Cesar, and Jesus will return any minute now.

    following this, he was warned by an “information-rich pink laser” about an undiagnosed hernia in his four year old son (whom he took to a doctor, and the doctor did indeed find a previously-unseen hernia). The pink laser also gave him information regarding the founding of Earthly religions by lobster-people from the vicinity of the star Sirius, who had voluntarily shed their mighty X-men-tastic spiritual powers to learn a thing or two about living as a powerless varmint on a back-woods planet and got stuck that way, all of which is documented in his novel “Valis.”

    I dunno about you, but I’ll have some of what Phil was having.

  7. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    my last freak is a world-leader freak. George W. “Don’t Call Me Junior” Bush.

    the boy ain’t right.

  8. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    TV/movie celebrity freak submissions:

    Bob Saget – he SEEMS very normal, very wholesome. played a dad on a sitcom, hosted America’s Funniest Home Movies for a bit, did a PG stand-up comedy routine… the thing is, the only people that agressively wholesome and normal are serial killers and suicide cult leaders. I wouldn’t accept any kool-aid from the man.

    Mr. Rogers – in a world where most television personalities are coke-snorting blood-drinking/wearing kinky-sex-having screamy Scientology dropouts and former-child-star junkies, Mr Rogers stood apart in his loafers and cardigan by being a mild-mannered, clean-living Presbyterian minister with a really laid-back children’s tv show.

    Carrot top – no matter how much weight lifting he does, he’s still carrot-top. see <A href="http://www.biloxientertainment.com/images/carrot-top-biloxi.jpg"this picture for details.

  9. Mickey Rourke. Just look at how he’s fucked up his face !!!!

    Also, threatening to “Toss Chris Jericho like a salad” recently DIDN’T help his case.

  10. My first thought was Michael Jackson. But I agree with JavaQueen, Dennis Rodman is a true freak.

  11. I’m really impressed that no one mentioned Jessica Simpson. I mean come on…she had that nice body in Dukes of Hazzard and she screwed it all up chasing a football player and super size’n every friggen happy meal?

  12. Courtney Love is my freak! The girl is grungy, nasty, pasty and supremely fucked up. Back when she was a drug addict, in her Hole days, she would wear red lipstick that bled into her upper lip and made her look like The Bride of Frankenstein on crack.
    The recent pictures of her pasty, vein covered, anorexic thin body walking on the beach with a boot cast on her foot carrying a guitar scream for help!
    She had collagen injected into her lips so much that now they looked deformed and she has had to go to court more than once to fight for custody of her daughter.

  13. Hi Evyl,

    Shirley Jones. Let’s see, she played the mother figure on the Partridge Family, a show in which her character, a single mother, was having an affair with her manager who was forcing her children to preform in a freak show of a band, and all the time her oldest children were going at each other like minks in heat, the red headed kid was being groomed for a life in organized crime, and the youngest tots were obviously destined to be cult members. Also, judging by the paint job on their tour bus, the whole family was spooning LSD on their corn flakes in the morning like it was sugar. Any actress who can pull that role off and still come across as America’s favorite mom is definitely a freak.

    the Grit

  14. the guys on Jackass get my vote. WHo in the world would stick a matchbox car up their ass??? And all in view of the publics eye on television. Then of course there are the firecrackers they stick up thier asses and light off. I have to admit these guys are hysterically funny…..but how freaky do you have to be to do that crap????

  15. Oprah Winfrey.
    The woman changes her size by the season.
    One month you see her and you think, yeah, she’s looking good.
    Three months later and she’s the size of a fuckin’ water buffalo.
    WTF?
    Oprah, Harpo, whatever.
    Just give me a damn harpoon.
    I want to nail the bitch if only to shut her the phuck up.
    Call me, Ahab :mrgreen:
    ~m

  16. The Pillsbury Doughboy

    Pop n Fresh just likes to be poked a little too much.

  17. Martha Stewart

    You just have to know that she had the prison bitches lined up out the cell door.

  18. The Road Runner

    Why do you think Wile E. Coyote was so hot to catch the fucker.

  19. What blog is this? :mrgreen:
    More entries from you than anyone else.
    Maybe you should crown yourself ‘freak’ . . .
    Happy Super Bowl Sunday dude.
    Hope you’re kickin’ back enjoying a cold one (like me, yeah, a Guinness)
    ~m

  20. Tom Cruise…although i thought his dance routine at the end of tropic thunder was pretty amusing….he’s still a douche…

  21. I got nothing on this one, but thought i should show my face lest you think i’d fallen off the face of the planet!!!
    life’s a bitch when it gets in the way of blogging hey

  22. David Gest….not only was he repeatedly bitch slapped by Liza Minnelli, but the dude walks around with someone else’s face stapled to his dome. That dude is just plain freaky.

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