Fuckin’ Up A Meme: Five Questions

I have consented to be interviewed by the lovely and talented Anja. As this is a meme, I will list the rules (like I ever fucking follow them) and then on to answer my five little questions.

The rules for anyone else who wants to be interviewed:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” (you don’t have to be interviewed if you want to comment)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Anja: You’re away on your annual fishing trip with your buddies and you see something caught in weeds. It’s the body of a young girl who has been dead for at least a week. Would you report it immediately? Or would you report the find when you head back in a couple of days?

Evyl: In the modern day, everyone has a cell phone. I would call it in. I would also ask the police officer to let me know the date of the funeral. Perhaps she had a hot older sister or her mother was a MILF and they would be willing to show a little appreciation for my help at bringing closure to their personal tragedy.

Anja: You’re sitting in a diner and the hottest woman on earth sits next to you. She smiles and asks you to follow her to a motel room. It is also your wedding anniversary and your wife will fillet you if you’re late. What do you do?

Evyl: Drew Barrymore is on my list. My wife would understand. It would mean a hit to my pocketbook on jewelry but eventually I could skate by on  this one.

Anja: She’s almost legal age. She’s taking off her top and grabs your hand. What do you do?

Evyl: I work as a Correctional Officer. I see what happens to pedaphiles in prison. There is no way I am going to take a lifetime of getting it up the ass for one night of almost legal sex.

Anja: Your wife promises you a weekend of mind blowing sex, but your buddies have tickets to the sporting event of your choice in corporate seats with free beer. What do you do?

Evyl: It’s according to who my wife has lined up for me to have mind blowing sex with. ;)

Anja: And just for my own curiosity, how old were you when you lost your virginity?

Evyl: As if I can remember that far back. But seriously, I was a late bloomer and was sixteen. I have been a slut ever since.

13 Responses to “Fuckin’ Up A Meme: Five Questions”

  1. Bahahahaha… if you think you’re a late bloomer, you would piss yourself laughing if I told you how old I was when I relinquished the cherry.

    Thanks for doing that. As usual, beautifully fucked up. *kiss*

    Thanks darlin’, I enjoyed it. – Evyl

  2. If you get to have Drew Barrymore, can I join you for a threesome!

    Believe me when I say that if it ever happens, I will invite everyone to watch. – Evyl

  3. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    if you’re a late bloomer than i am an outright procrastinator, as i was suitable for virgin sacrifice until 20.

    Also, interview me if you feel like it. if not, that’s cool.

    Will do. I will have to think up a few and get it to you. If not today look for it tomorrow evening. – Evyl

  4. hahaha…I would have thought you started getting it on the regular when you were 12, based on your blog ;-)

    I believe in making up for lost time. – Evyl

  5. Nothing wrong with 16 to get started
    ;)

    Thanks darlin’. – Evyl

  6. As we thought, you did not disappoint….and I’m asking Mrs Evyl about who she lined up when I see her in July BTW :lol:

    Surprising but she was not that amused with my answer to that question. Sometimes I just can’t figure her out. ;) – Evyl

  7. Bahahaha, I was looking forward to seeing this. Anja, babe, some priceless questions and Evyl, lol @ the answers.

    Thanks. I appreciate that. – Evyl

  8. Hi Evyl,

    You lost me at “mind blowing sex.” God, but I’m getting old!

    the Grit

    Sorry ’bout that. – Evyl

  9. I was actually expecting a necrophilia joke regarding # 1….

    I was thinking about it but then I figured that it was too easy and went for the Cougar angle. – Evyl

  10. Now there’s a good interview for once, loved the Q&A.

    As Anja put it perfectly: beautifully fucked up!

  11. LOL. Now this was a fun read. I think sixteen is pretty young though. After all, it’s not far off from the 14-year-old “girls have cooties” stage. ;)

    It was late but not outrageously so. – Evyl

  12. Great questions, cool freaky answers! I would expect no less from the Anja/Evyl combo.

    (hand in the air) Interview me, please!

    Hope you liked your questions. – Evyl

  13. [...] justice to an interview like these two. They are brilliant and funny and bawdy and well, just get over there, if you haven’t [...]

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