I rarely take a serious stance on anything here. It is not the reason that I created this blog and I like to keep it as a home to my twisted view on life and small attempts at humor. But today, I would like to show support for a cause that I think is well deserved and in the process help out a fellow blogger.

MJ at ‘Note to Self’ is taking part in a blogathon that is supporting HUGS. Hugs is the work of Police Wives Online and provides support for the surviving family and loved ones of law officers killed in the line of duty.

I would urge everyone to go and visit MJ throughout the week and if possible donate to a good cause. My thanks to all that help support this cause. And a special thanks to MJ, for bringing awareness to this worthy cause.

Reading the Odd News on Yahoo today, I came across an interesting little story. It seems that nine British women were busted for prostitution at a cocksucking contest. It seems that the women had been paid for their entries and this qualified as prostitution. I personally think that they should have given the gals a break. Hell even the Olympics allow professionals to enter their contests now. Shouldn’t cocksuckers be given the same privilege. My guess is that since they were busted in Greece, the powers that be were just pissed that it wasn’t a sodomy contest.

I also wonder a bit about the scoring criteria for a cocksucking contest. Would it be judged on strictly speed or would style points count? Would a contestant receive extra points for the amount of jizz ejaculated or extra points for amount swallowed or would a full facial receive a few extra points

(Read Below for the News Scoop.) 

ATHENS (Reuters) - Nine British women were facing prostitution charges after being arrested at the weekend for taking part in an oral sex competition in the Greek holiday island of Zakynthos, police said on Monday.

Six British and six Greek men, including two bar owners, were also charged in the incident, which took place at Laganas beach in the south of the Ionian island, which lies off the west coast of mainland Greece, police said.

The women, who came to the popular resort on holiday, had been paid to take part in the competition, which was video recorded and was to be posted on the Internet, police said.

The men were charged with encouraging obscene behavior.

(Reporting by Daniel Flynn)

Now that I read the story again, maybe it wasn’t a cocksucking contest at all. The story is a bit vague on what type of oral sex is being judged. Maybe it is a rug munching contest. That brings a whole new set of guidelines into play. My mind is reeling on what criteria that is being judged on.

This week was an exceptionally hard week for the Freak Finding Panel of Judges. The entries were all off the hook but in the end there can be only one. So it’s time to key up the drum-roll. This weeks Winning Freak is The Grit. Congrats Grit on your fantastic Entry. Now the Pic has a new caption.

Don’t worry, a mouthful of pubic hair contains 64% of your daily requirement of fiber.

Congrats Grit. You are the worthy Freak of the Week. And congrats to all the entrants. You are all winning Freaks in my eyes. Now don’t forget to drop by and congratulate The Grit on a job well done and don’t forget to pop on over to the Freak of the Week Page to see my little ode to the winner.

A little musical interlude this afternoon so go ahead and crank It up!!!

Just thought that I would post a little LOL pic to help kick off more Freak of the Week Fun.

Perineum Blues

I clawed my balls I clawed my ass

This fucking itch just has to pass.

But the itch moves on right to my tain’t

I can not scratch it. No sir I ain’t.

I’ll scratch my ass, I’ll scratch my balls

And quite frankly that’s not all.

I’ll scratch myself here and scratch myself there

I’ll scratch until I bore a hole in my underwear.

But I will not scratch my rusty tain’t

No sir no ma’am I ain’t.

But inside my noggin a little voice is heard

Whispering a few very choice words.

Scratch it, scratch it. You have an itch

Go ahead and scratch it don’t be a little bitch.

The voice gets louder and oh so clear

Scratch it scratch it you fucking queer.

The voice gets louder and continues to curse

And the itching gets oh so much worse.

This infernal itching between my asshole and my balls

I can no longer stand it. Oh how it galls.

So I grab my nutsuck and pull it to the side

And scratch hellbent for leather on my perineum hide.

Such sweet relief but oh the shame.

I might have liked it a little too much. The voice I blame.

I saw a promo for the upcoming show, “How To Look Good Naked“. Although I heartily agree with the premise of the show. I really have to wonder at their choice of host. For every size and shape of a females naked body from a boyish waif-like figure to a plus size, I can guarentee that there is a man out there that will consider that size and shape to be their exact cup of tea. So a show that attempts to get women to shed their fear and body hatred and realize that when it comes to a naked women it’s all good, has my whole hearted approval. But why the fuck would you choose to pick the most flaming of the Queer Eye Guys, Carson Kressly, to host this show? Wouldn’t his idea of how to look good naked for a woman include a strap on cock?

Here are just a few ideas on alternate hosts:

• Tommy Lee - He’s crude, tattooed and knows his way with naked women. Any naked woman will look even better in comparison to this ugly rocker. Look what it did for Pam Anderson.
• Ron Jeremy - Living proof that you don’t have to be attractive to be successful naked.
• Charlie Sheen - With the number of prostitutes that he has seen naked, surely he has some good tips.
• Melissa Etheridge - Not only does she appreciate naked women, I bet she could write one hell of a theme song for the show.
• Barack Obama - If he doesn’t get elected perhaps he could work with naked women. He’s all about change isn’t he?

Yes indeedy freaks and friends, it is once again time to enter that glorious contest of wit, brains, charm, and freakishness. Freak of the Week is up for grabs yet again. Do you have what it takes to join the illustrious ranks of the past Freak of the Week Winners? Your assignment should you choose to accept it is to beat the caption. The winner as chosen by the Award Winning Freak Finding Panel of Judges will have their name glorified in the Freak of the Week page and will have bragging rights for an entire week. Enough of the Bullshit on with the contest.

Ms. Edna Snively, Beaver County Republican Chairperson, Nudist, and founder of the Anti-Brazilian League states that she will forever be ‘Pro-Bush.’

So go ahead and beat that caption. Good luck freaks and friends. You have until Sunday Night 8:00 PM CST to get in your entry. All entrants may submit as many entries as they damn well please. I thank all contestants in advance for their entries. And remember you are all freaks of the week in my eyes.

The important thing to remember is that the cock is not just a simple hard shaft. It is a precious gift that a man is willing to share with a multitude of lucky women. So don’t just put on maximum suction and start bobbing up and down like your face was some kind of pogo stick.

First tease the cock. Kiss it. Lick it. Stroke it lovingly. Fondle his nutsack, kneading it softly but for Christ’s sake don’t use your nails. A nutsack is a sensitive marvel of evolution and must be handled with supreme adulation.

While some are proponents of the Deep Throat procedure, I am realistic. I realize that not every woman will be able to choke down a massive kielbasa. It is perfectly acceptable to suck on the head while stroking the cock firmly. Just remember to set a rhythm and keep it up. Remember that it is about enjoyment not about discomfort.

With comfort in mind, it is not important whether you are down on your knees or lieing down with your head on the crotch. As long as you are comfortable for the long haul, it will be all good.

I will not here advocate pulling your teeth and installing dentures in order to please a man but I must state that it is very important to keep your teeth out of the picture when giving a hummer. Teeth are the enemy. A tooth down the prick is like nails down a chalkboard to a man. It is a total buzzkill.

Remember it is not practice that makes perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. Follow these instructions and any advice given during the act and everything will turn out right. I have but a couple of more tips and this is concerning what to do now that you have accomplished your goal and now are a proud recipient of a mouthful of cum.

A mouthful of cum is the gift that a man has given you for a job well done. Do not under any circumstance spit it out and disrespect him like that. Cum is low caloric and packed with healthy vitamins and proteins. Wallow it around in your mouth, blow bubbles, stretch it out with your tongue. It is perfectly acceptable to play with your food and then swallow.

And take this tip; Sharing is not acceptable. It should be ingrained in your psyche to love the taste of cum, even if it is latent and may need a little coaxing. It is not ingrained in a man to like it. It is an aberration and a gross one at that for a man to want a snowball. So after you swallow it down with a smile, do not ask a man for a kiss until after you have brushed your teeth or sucked down a cold beer or a shot of Jack Daniels to kill any lingering aftertaste that can be passed to a man.

Thank you and Happy Cock Sucking!!!