The other day I was summoned to report for Jury Duty at the County Courthouse. I drew a juror number 215 so I wasn’t worried about actually being picked as a juror but I also realized that I was due for a long morning of listening to a great deal of legal bullshit.
While waiting to be called into the courtroom to be seated, I engaged in a small talk with a douchebag that I knew from a while back. He told me that he had never been called for jury duty before and that he thought that it would be cool to sit on a jury. I told him that I had served on a few juries and that it was mostly boring bullshit and the coolness factor was damned near nil.
A short while later, the bailiff started calling the roll to seat the perspective jurors in their seats. I noticed that the douchebag was called in the high one hundred’s so there wasn’t much chance of him being called. Then I finally took my seat in the back row.
The judge started out by reading out the list of qualifications and everyone was qualified so there wasn’t any thinning out at that time. Then he read out the list of exemptions and no one met those either, I suppose anyone that had an exemption just mailed it in. Then the judge asked if anyone had any circumstances that would prevent them from serving at this time.
The fucking douchebag’s hand raised as quickly as the judge opened his mouth. The motherfucker went up and made up some bullshit sob story and the judge let him go. If I didn’t have the respect for the law that I do, I would have gone up there and punched that douchebag right in the fucking mouth. Talking all that bullshit about serving on the jury and then not to have the respect to sit on the fucking uncomfortable wood chairs to a mornings worth of bullshit; asshole-cocksucker-dickwad-motherfuckin’ bitch.
So I sat there and listened to the bullshit, got excused at noon, and collected my eight fucking bucks. Ain’t service to your country grand.
From Evyl With Love 