How To Be The Perfect Lover: Part One

Due to the vast number of blog inquiries and numerous e-mails regarding things of a sexual nature, I have decided to do a series of short informative posts giving information to all the ladies on just what a man is looking for in a perfect lover. I will start with the most basic sex acts and work my way up to more advanced topics. For those who are already an accomplished afficienado of the finer arts feel free to add any advice that you might have.

Hand Jobs

Remember first that a cock is a precious God given gift. It is meant to be stroked gently, firmly, and lovingly. It is not meant to be squeezed and jerked like you are milking a cow. Remember that the most sensitive area of the prick is not the base but the tip. Keep your face there and it will be easy to remember the sensitive area. Keep in mind that a splurt of semen rarely causes eye injuries so keep your eyes open and witness the awesome spectacle of man known as the cumshot.

Another thing to remember is that dryness is the enemy. Human saliva is just as good as any lotion. Just don’t spit on it like a Major League Baseball Player. Apply saliva with your tongue or with your whole mouth. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Follow these helpful tips and with a little practice you will be giving hand jobs like a college freshman twirler. So hear me now and thank me later.  

5 Responses to “How To Be The Perfect Lover: Part One”

  1. I really shouldn’t be laughing this hard at 4:50am…
    A God given gift?
    Damn straight!


    I was hoping that you would agree. – Pure Evyl

  2. What a wonderful gift you’ve given us. Laughs and information. I’m taking notes, looking forward to the next installment. 😉

    Thanks so much Vic. Although I am sure that you do not really need the lesson. – Pure Evyl

  3. First let me say,
    I think (most)women have sex down pat–
    However men on the other hand……
    Alot of ’em seem 2 need help BIG TIME!!!

    but It is good to have a mans opinion!

    Can’t wait 4 the rest!


    Starbender, If you would like to do a guest post giving a male lesson from a womans perspective, I would be glad to have it posted. Just shoot it to me via e-mail. – Pure Evyl

  4. So all those women in pornos got it wrong when they spit on the guys dick?

    Some things just don’t translate well from the porn to real life. It may look cool on film but in real life it is just a bit nasty. – Pure Evyl

  5. I would luv 2 do that,
    …but my ‘ol man would have a cow!
    ‘ ]

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