Words From The Hole

While I have been away from the facility, I have received daily reports of the happenings around the facility. I missed a really good opportunity for a laugh a few days ago. Officer Flounder has been taking up my usual post as Seg Officer. While making his rounds, Officer Flounder was called over to one inmates cell to respond to the inmates question.

Inmate: Boss, I need to take a shower.

Officer Flounder: Showers are given on the PM Shift. You will have an opportunity to shower at that time.

Inmate: But Boss, I really need a shower right now.

Officer Flounder: Is there some emergency?

Inmate: I just got through masturbating and I feel dirty.

 I really hate that I missed that. But I suppose that a quest for knowledge must contain some sacrifice.

7 Responses to “Words From The Hole”

  1. Oh man, what a great thing to have missed. “I feel really dirty.” I’m going to be chuckling for the rest of the night.

    I am still laughing. This guy is one hell of a piece of work. – Pure Evyl

  2. How would you have responded to that?

    After laughing my ass off, I would have told him to get back to his bunk and shut the fuck up. – Pure Evyl

  3. after the last episode i have learned NOT to have a mouthful of tea or coffee, or indeed any liquid when i read your posts…this was no different 😆

    Thanks, glad nothing sloshed out. – Pure Evyl

  4. Oh, man.
    That’s really icky.

    Icky and sticky. – Pure Evyl

  5. he should have told him to rub it into his hands, i hear it makes great moisturizer!! LOL

    You’ve heard that. Hmmmm. 😉 – Pure Evyl

  6. That’s why I often wait until I’m in the shower, but then again, the only other person who showeres with me is my wife, maybe not a good idea inside…

    Slippery when wet so be safe. – Pure Evyl

  7. p.s. I remember one time when I worked at the county jail there was this guy in a cell with shit whiped all over the walls, he was laying naked on the floor with his foot in the toilet chokin’ his chickin’…
    good times

    Gotta luv those shit painters. – Pure Evyl

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