Tagged A Gross Motherfucker

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It seems that the great and powerful Oz has tagged my ass. He thinks that it is right up my alley. Oh how right he is. So without further fanfare, here is eight gross facts about yours truly. (In no particular order of grossness.)

  1. I grow my toenails until it interferes with putting on my shoes.Well that might be a little bit of an overstatement but only a very little bit. The fact of the matter is that when I keep them short, I get ingrown toenails. Ingrown toenails are a scourge from hell. If it means that I must register my toenails as lethal weapons than so be it.
  2. I have musical belches.The chorus is something like buh-ree-upp. It is fucking awesome but you have to be a belch connoisseur to think so.
  3. When I die, my wife plans on turning me into a throw rug.I am one hairy motherfucker. I keep my back and balls shaved out of consideration to my wife, (fuckin’ Class A Gentleman, Hell I even step out of the shower to take a piss.) but when I let it go I could be one of the hair bear bunch. Now that I am getting older, the damn hair is sprouting out of my freakin’ ears, my freakin’ nose, I once even pulled a damned hair out of the roof of my mouth. I guess it must have been a fucking nose-hair that grew the wrong way.
  4. I sniff my socks after wearing them.I really don’t know why I do this other than to see just how much my feet sweated during the day.
  5. One of my favorite on-line activities is looking through disgusting pics.Nothing is quite as relaxing as typing in sick, disgusting, gross, or any other similar word on a Google search and let the good times roll.
  6. I am a firm believer in the five second rule. In fact according to the floor the time can be upped a bit.
  7. After I blow my nose, I look in the Kleenex. How the fuck else are you going to really know that you got it.
  8. My phlegm has super powers.I can cough up a lung biscuit that has more bounce than a fucking superball.Ā 

Now I am not going to tag anyone but if you have a sicker habit or anything grosser than these, I would love to hear about it. Better yet, Send me a pic!!!

6 Responses to “Tagged A Gross Motherfucker”

  1. hahah*wheeeeeze*ahehe.

    I think I peed myself a little with that one.

    Cool. That could be #9. – Pure Evyl

  2. had to wipe the damned screen after i saw that pic!! šŸ˜†
    these are the things i’ve missed while you’ve been gone…

    There is plenty more where that came from. – Pure Evyl

  3. Glad you were able to join in. Fucking hilarious you sick son of a bitch.
    p.s. my wife and I have literal pissing contests in the shower.

    That sounds like some good old fashioned family entertainment right there. – Pure Evyl

  4. Do the toenails curl? šŸ˜‰
    WC

    Only during the short strokes. šŸ˜‰ – Pure Evyl

  5. i have to get on this one. Red did it too. i’ve just been so fucking lazy, man, and drunk. ah, what can ya do?

    Take pics during a drunken spree. I am sure that you could get eight good ones. – Pure Evyl

  6. I love Ozy’s comments about pissing in the shower, is it that much of a big thing????
    As for the hair thing, I think it freaked me out more than the toe nails (i’m not a feet person) so you’re a regualr ‘crack, back and sack’ guy huh? šŸ˜‰

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