Beans and Blades

Recently we had to send an inmate by ambulance to the hospital. At first report, it appeared that an inmate had swallowed a razor blade. At the hospital, x-rays were ran and no metal was found in his system. When he asked the doctor what was going to happen the doctor told him that this too shall pass.

 After coming back from the hospital, the patient discovered that some of his commisary property was missing and picked a fight with a fellow inmate that had traveled with him to the facility. When the inmate patient was pulled out after the fight he blamed his fellow inmate of not only stealing his property but also of putting razor blades in his beans.

During the disciplinary hearing, I asked the inmate accused of stealing property if he in any way altered the other inmates food. He was pretty close lipped but when I leaned on him a bit and explained that he could receive free world charges for attempting to kill the other inmate by putting razor blades in his beans, he sang like a canary. In his written statement, he explained how the patient inmate had been coming up with ideas to sue the jail system and receive a get out of jail free card. His story was corroborated by other inmates.

So if you are trying to get out of jail, I would not advise beans and blades; Number One – It doesn’t work and Number Two – When you cut a fart it could slice your ass in two.

3 Responses to “Beans and Blades”

  1. That makes my ass pucker a bit .. Yikes.

    Your ass really puckered. (Interesting.) – Pure Evyl

  2. *ouch*
    i actually cringed when i read that last line….

    Thanks. 🙂 – Pure Evyl

  3. Jeez Louise, even the inmates are looking for that million dollar lawsuit. What is wrong with this picture?

    Many inmates have nothing better to do than make up frivolous lawsuits. Beats chunking in my opinion. – Pure Evyl

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