What Can Brown Do For You


 When my favorite Nanny came up with an idea to start a rolling post, I answered her call. I figured that it had great potential for a lot of fun, rubbing elbows (so to speak) with some good writers in hopes that some of their skills would rub off on me. Although it was a lot of fun, I really don’t see any of the skills rubbing off on me. Without further fanfare, I give you the rolling post and have entitled my bit part, ‘What Can Brown Do For You?’

From Moe:

The curtains were drawn against the chill of an early winters evening. The only sound to be heard was a sigh as she poured over one of her interminable lists, this being for the coming weekends dinner party.

She was concerned how she would keep them apart after the recent unpleasantness.
It was unthinkable she not invite them both, but in doing the right thing by them, had created a problem for herself…..

From Poseidons Muse:

Drawing a soothing draught of red wine from her glass, she looked up from her list and stared across the room. A distant memory, like the transient flash of ‘his’ handsome smile, spurned her inner turmoil. She had developed feelings for Steven during her initial tenure at the University. Their first encounter seemed almost cliche. A fateful walk across an autumn campus, a stack of books falling upon golden autumn leaves, polite words spoken, lucid eyes meeting hungrily. Butterflies.

What had begun as an innocent friendship between colleagues (for Amy would later be introduced to Steven as a contemporary) later spurned into a brief, but torrid, romantic affair. When the couple resuscitated themselves from their grey moral vortex, they realised that they would make better friends than bed-fellows and had decided to remain in each other’s lives. Now, Amy had the task of playing chancellor and counsellor to her friend, as he struggled for a sense of equilibrium in his failing marriage. Once again, she sensed the butterflies.

From WriterChick:

Amy sealed both invitations, one for Steven and one for Margo, his estranged wife, and adhered a lovely tiffany art stamp to each. “I hope to God, they aren’t still arguing over custody of the dog or the chimp – helluva a dinner topic that will make.” She put the invitations aside for the post office run she would do in the morning and pondered the menu for the party. “Now what dish would both please Steven and compliment his lovely golden curls by candlelight – of course, curry!”

From Michael:

Amy sat on the couch contemplating the difficult intricacies of the seating arrangement when the phone rang.


“Ms. Neidelson, thank God you’re home. This is Dr. Shotzendach. I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time.”

“No, doctor. I’m just sitting . . . Is everything okay?”

“Well, I do believe we’ve found the source of your equilibrium problem and I’m glad you’re sitting down. You’re two months pregnant. And here’s the best part: You’re having twins! Congratulations! Ms. Neidelson?”

“Uh . . . I don’t understand doctor . . . I mean, I understand but . . . how do you . . .”

“Your lab results and the CAT scan images told us all we needed to know. Ms. Neidelson? Ms. Neidelson, are you still there?!”

Amy began to laugh hysterically. A bit too hysterically . . .

My Bit:

The phone slipped from her spasming hand and crashed against the glass of wine. Her laughter morphed to sobs as she sat mesmerized by the bits of broken glass and the spread of the crimson stain against the polished hard wood floor. Bitterly she asked herself, how could she have come to this pass. She had been so careful all her life and yet one afternoon of unbridled passion had sent her whole world reeling.

For as long as she could remember, Amy had vowed not to conceive. She had worked her entire life to not only conceal but to expunge the story of her childhood. She had spent her early years raised in a traveling circus but not the romanticized life. Her father was not the Lion Tamer and her mother was not the Beautiful Lady on the Flying Trapeze. No that was only in her dreams. Her father was Wee Willy Winky, The Smallest Man in Northern America, and her mother was Woolly Wanda, The Bearded Woman. Tears ran down Amys’ face as she wondered if this life would be exposed if she was to give birth to two small bearded goat girls. 

She berated herself but she knew that it could have been no different. She had not the power or the will to avoid succumbing to the charms of the Parcel Delivery Man. She had been in a high state of anticipation over the delivery of her lavender shower curtains when Dan rang her doorbell. One look at his glittering smile, the first glance at the sunlight shimmering off his baseball cap, and her heart and her loins melted.

But what now? How could she put on a brave face for the dinner party this weekend with her entire life in turmoil.

Now I pass the torch to Red. Let ‘er rip. If you want to be a part of this rolling post like the ones that have gone so far and Going like Sixty, Chris, Karen, Reg,  and Cowgalutah, then just head over to Moe’s place and let her stick you on the list.

11 Responses to “What Can Brown Do For You”

  1. ROTFLMFAO…..no less than i would have thought!! i can hardly see for tears here…well done evyl…well done….with red following you, it can only get better….

    Thanks so much. I’m honored that you liked it. – Pure Evyl

  2. I’m thinking he rang more than her doorbell. :0)
    Nice touch, dude

    Wonder what she did when the Avon Lady came calling? – Pure Evyl

  3. Forgot-
    And the pic? Uhh-huh-huh . . .
    Love it

    Thanks, I am all about the visuals. – Pure Evyl

  4. poseidonsmuse Says:

    Absolutely brilliant Evyl. I’m thoroughly impressed (and honoured by your comment “re: rubbing shoulders…”).

    Looks like we’ve got a contender here (“you”)!. Good work! Lucky postman…

    Now…I think Amy needs an ultrasound. Wadya think? Think she’s got a teeny tiny gorilla baby in there? It might pop out in a few months with wiggling hips screaming “I’m a hunk, a hunk of burnin’ love”


    Awwww shucks. – Pure Evyl

  5. But the good news is that she’ll likely have singing goat girls and will make millions by entering them into next season’s American Idol.

    Well done, my friend.


    Why not have a family affair and go for ‘The Next Great American Band?’ – Pure Evyl

  6. Holy geeez. . and I have to follow that? I cant do it justice, but I’ll sure give it a shot!

    You will do great. I have faith. – Pure Evyl

  7. LMAO @ annie’s comment!!! they’d probably win!

    Either that or they will find pop stardom with Sanjaya. – Pure Evyl

  8. Oh my gosh…this is great!
    I’m so scared for my turn…I don’t want to ruin this lovely!

    You will do a fine job. Just remember to bring what is you to the story and you can’t go wrong. – Pure Evyl

  9. Great twist. Totally you, Evyl.
    Funny as hell.

    You guys are really rocking this thing.
    Looking forward to the rest.

    Thanks, I am blushing. – Pure Evyl

  10. i’m scared shitless for my turn too. i’m gonna have to read this like 5 times when it’s my turn. i want to do the best for it i possibly can!

    You will be awesome. – Pure Evyl

  11. Absolutely fucking brillant addition Evyl. I am both dreading and relishing my turn at the story…

    Oh god, what hath Amy wrought?

    You’ll rock it. – Pure Evyl

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