Salad Tossers

Last night while I was watching Life, my wife was reading a sales circular from a local hardware store. She pointed out an item by stating, ‘Look, now they have a mechanical salad tosser.’ I could not believe my ears. What a great world we live in. A world where anything that a man desires is now available at a local hardware store. A world that can invent mechanical salad tossers is surely at the pinnacle of acheivement.

My good feelings were dashed however when she showed me the ad and I saw the device in question. It was this. Shit, it was for real salad. That is just plain horsecock. Salad isn’t even fucking food. It’s the shit that food eats. Now my faith in the world has decreased but it has given me inspiration. If you don’t see me for a few days, know that I am working on a Real Mechanical Salad Tosser.

7 Responses to “Salad Tossers”

  1. Oh man .. I do love a good tossed salad.

    One of the many reason that I love ya darlin’. – Pure Evyl

  2. i love tossing salads….like red said, there’s nothing like a good one….

    You sweetheart you. – Pure Evyl

  3. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    spin-dryer for veggies – pretty useless in the face of Paper Towels.

    mechanical Salad Tosser – SOLD!

    And the ad in the circular said that has a non-skid bottom. That’s certainly a plus. – Pure Evyl

  4. I thought a salad tosser was a nausious vegatarian.

    Could be I suppose. – Pure Evyl

  5. greenmetropolis Says:

    What the fuck is wrong with people that they will spend thirty fucking dollars on a mechanical fucking lettuce dryer?!?! That thirty dollars could be spent several better ways:

    1) Really fantastic lunch – not including salad.
    2) Food for my rabbits – oh wait, they just eat the fucking lettuce! Double savings!
    3) Alcohol.
    4) Contribution towards a new tattoo that says “I don’t spend money on useless shit.”

    Better spendature, Jes?

    Yeppers. – Pure Evyl

  6. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    non-skid bottoms are definitely useful when salad is being tossed.

    Damn Skippy. – Pure Evyl

  7. invinciblepanhead Says:

    “Salad isn’t even fucking food. It’s the shit that food eats”

    Amen to that.
    Do I look like a fucking cow to you?

    You don’t even appear to be a ruminant. – Pure Evyl

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