Bushscaping For Fun And Profit

I was recently talking with an ex-stripper friend of mine and the subject of pubes came up. She explained to me that as a fully nude dancer, a freshly trimmed bush was a must. Although it is true that it takes all kinds, the best money making bush was the good ol’ landing-strip. It seems that a bald beaver, clever designs, or a big ol’ fuzzy puss just didn’t rake in the same kind of bucks.

It made me really wonder why most guys prefer the landing strip over anything else. I have always been a little apprehensive about an extremely hairy bush. I don’t want to search through the jungle to find the hidey hole. And I don’t want to build a hair rope in my teeth when munching on a little rug. So I can see why a wild haired muffin wouldn’t rake up the big bucks.

I really wonder though about the bald beaver. I would think this would be the big moneymaker. At first I only could think, the only reasons is that perhaps it makes men feel uncomfortable that they might possibly have some pedophile issues or some men might be afraid to look a woman straight in the puss without a little trimming.

Then like a bolt of lightning it came to me. Men are visual creatures. Big boobs and round asses trigger the libido. And what could be a better visual than an exclamation mark. That’s what a landing strip pube-do is a damned exclamation mark. A beaver saying, ‘Look at me. I am worthy, I am worth looking at, I am worth fantasizing about, I am worth spending two weeks paycheck on. The runways clear, set it right down.’

Now I am wondering. What the hell would a talking beaver really say? But that’s a story for another day. Perhaps I will title that post, ‘It Has Lips Why Shouldn’t It Talk?’

7 Responses to “Bushscaping For Fun And Profit”

  1. They do talk .. it’s called a queef.
    I have my preference when it comes to pussy .. what I like on myself, and other women. Either way is fine, but I dont/cant/wont do the bush.

    I’ve always considered a queef more of a bark of approval than actually talking. And a finely trimmed bush is a many splendored thing. But bald is beautiful. – Evyl

  2. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    if it’s talking beavers you’re after…
    http://tv.boingboing.net/2008/02/25/compubeaver-origin-o.html

    Apparently, talking beavers say “Super hard drive spin!”

    A superhero beaver fighting for ecology brought to us by Verizon? Not quite what I was looking for but perhaps he can join with the talking beaver for the sleep aid medication and make a dynamic duo. Two beavers are always better than one. – Evyl

  3. I was gonna say: they DO talk….what they “say” depends on who they’re talking to…. 😉

    NO BUSH!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks for droppin’ on in. I wondered if this would turn political. So far it looks like two Anti-Bush and 0 Pro-Bush. By the end of the day perhaps we will know what the American People really think. – Evyl

  4. They burp. They fart. And sometimes they mumble. As for holding a conversation with one, I dunno.

    Ahh, so true. What sweet music it is. And it is also true that the conversation might be a little humiliating at times. – Evyl

  5. The bald beaver just doesn’t look right. I’ve tried it and it simply wasn’t for me. I have tried the occasional letter or design for special occasions, but typically settle on a nice small neatly trimmed triangle. As for what she’d say…hmmm…yes, I agree with pissy, depends on who she’s talking to. BTW, I’m soooo glad you’re back.

    You can talk to me anytime, darlin’. And it’s damn good to be back. Don’t be a stranger now. – Evyl

  6. Nothing like a well-groomed cooter . . . :mrgreen:
    ~m

    Damn Skippy!!! – Evyl

  7. […] Barnum & Bailey’s circuit, heaven forbid) Hell, it may even be good for . . . nahhhhh. Evyl has already addressed that subject. And he’s done a damn fine job of it, if I don’t say so myself. Kudos, buddy. Pick up […]

    And for after a good noggin shave nothing quite soothes like Bald Guyz Moisture Gel. I should get some damn money for hawking a product around here. – Evyl

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: