One Reason I Could Never Be a Buddhist

Buddhists have to memorize a lot of sutras like the one above. It is the Lotus Sutra and deals with understanding and experiencing nothingness. I could never do that shit. Maybe if it was sung to the tune of the theme song from Gilligan’s Island or The Beverly Hillbillies, I could do alright but I doubt that the Buddhist’s would like it if I did. Although any religion who’s main man is used for bongs, might be pretty mellow about singing their most religious service to the tune of The Flintstones.

7 Responses to “One Reason I Could Never Be a Buddhist”

  1. I used to have a {well used} bong like that…in fact if I hunted enough I could probably still find it! What memories THAT brings back! A few missed memories too!
    Nothing wrong with a few cones through Buddha’s belly ! As for the music, it didn’t really matter, but AC/DC was always good….or Cold Chisel…
    Now you’ve got me wanting to go look for the damned thing…I’ll let you know if I find it!

    I donated my trusty old bong to a good cause long ago. I hope that it is still doling out it’s magical powers. – Evyl

  2. Never heard of a Budda bong I want to buy one now lol

    What about the bonus’s of being a budda
    a) tantric sex
    b) karma suitra
    c) …. i got nothing…

    There is that yoga thing. It helps gain bendiness. Bendiness is a highly attractive feature. That and I once saw on some tv progam some Yogi Master Dude tie a couple of cement blocks to his wang and it stretched to dynamic portions. Although stretched out like that it was as thin as a fucking toothpick. Freaky ass shit. – Evyl

  3. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    /headbangs to the Lotus Sutra

    it’s got a good beat to it. I can definitely see a bunch of Nowegian Death-metallers in corpsepaint and spiky leather performing this.

    my religion’s pretty cool about holy music. since every member’s a Reverend, everyone’s free to decree whatever music they like as Holy Music. Slayer? it’s cool. The Duke of Uke (a dude who does ukelele versions of old punk songs)? rock on.

    Devo seems to be the really popular choice, though, as does the masked sci-fi surf-rock group The Amino Acids.

    It’s snappy and easy to dance to. I’d give it a 76. – Evyl

  4. Oh yeah I’ve tried yoga before (in the privacy of my own home) it hurts a bit lol. I dont reccomend you do that thing with the bricks and your wang just incase you do some damage. We dont want that.

    Thanks darlin’. Me and my wang appreciate it. – Evyl

  5. it has a nice rhythme, but I can’t really dance to it

    So, what do you give it? – Evyl

  6. diff strokes for diff folks

    Yeppers. – Evyl

  7. I’m going to hate it when this video moves off my front page. I am getting addicted to it.

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