Just Another Day At The Office

Today, I ran a disciplinary hearing on an offender that has been a total shitstick from the moment that he came on the unit. It seems that he had finally crossed the line and was facing three separate charges. One for trafficking and trading, and two separate charges of threatening an officer. Assisting me in the disciplinary hearing was the Chief of Classification, and the Sergeant in charge of training.

The offender pled not guilty to all charges and then in a meandering statement gave himself up as guilty. The offender was escorted outside for the committee to deliberate the case. In short order he was found guilty of all three charges and in even shorter order the penalty of thirty days in the hole was agreed upon.

When he came back before the committee and advised of the outcome, he asked us how we could sleep at night?

My reply was simply, ‘Like a baby.’ The quick thinking Sergeant instantly added, ‘In the free world.’

13 Responses to “Just Another Day At The Office”

  1. Both the Sergeant and the Chief of Classification are females as were the guards that escorted the offender. All four are a credit to the profession and it doesn’t make a flying fuck to me what sex they are but I thought it might help you get a better visual of the scene,

  2. Its good to see that in a job such as those above you can still have a sense of humor and still sleep peacefully.

    Also I dont get why people say they “slept like a baby” . does that mean they woke up every few hours for a bottle ? and for someone to change their nappy? does that mean they just laid in their bed waiting for someone to come and get them up?

    I dont get it.

    I wake up every two hours and cry. Well not really but I didn’t make the saying up, and it popped into my head. – Evyl

  3. @ queenbitch….hahaha…good point. Why don’t they say “slept like a dog” (or cat)? Now, those fuckers really know how to sleep!

    Dog’s sleep well due to their uncanny ability to lick their own privates. It is a working theory of mine. If I was only bendy enough, I could get better research on my theory. – Evyl

  4. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    for my purposes, sleep like a baby = wake up every few hours to pee and/or get a sip of milk (To help me sleep, of course).

    sleep like the dead = only wake up when roused by hunger or radioactive space-dust. might wanna put on some adult diapers for this one.

    hibernate = deep, restful, all-day sleep, not so deep as sleeping like the dead, but still good.

    My grandmother used to say ‘sleep like the rightious.’ But then again martyrs must have slept pretty sound. – Evyl

  5. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    like the dead, but deader.

    Yep. – Evyl

  6. I just wanna know why the fuck he felt he had the place to say that? You did not do anything wrong-he did!

    It’s common. – Evyl

  7. I would not wanna sleep like a baby in the slammer…that would be an uncomfortable sleep I think….

    It might be uncomforable in the morning. – Evyl

  8. How could YOU sleep at night? Did he really have the (small) balls to say that? WTF?

    He sells drugs INSIDE THE PRISON, threatens an officer and he dares ask you how you sleep at night? I will never understand that kind of self-delusional bullshit.

    Good comebacks though….hehehehe

    Many in prison are self-delusional. It helps to pass the time, I suppose. – Evyl

  9. comments today are as good as the post.
    i’m in awe of the mental fortitude you have to have to do your job day after day.
    being immersed in such a negative environment can’t be easy on you after awhile.
    thanks goodiness you totally kickass.

    Thanks darlin’. – Evyl

  10. he he he
    its called justice prick

    Truth. – Evyl

  11. shitstick? is that a couisn to fucktard> sounds like it to me…..
    do these people never learn? a mistake i can accept, but after that it’s just bullshit isn’t it?
    no reason you shouldn’t sleep well….you’re a decent human like many free paople….take note I didn’t say “all”

    Shitstick is a prison guard term for the problem pricks. – Evyl

  12. That was brilliant!! My answer would have been with your mom.

    That’s brilliant. – Evyl

  13. Thinking of you in that disciplinary position gets a gal all hot and bothered.

    Thanks, darlin’. – Evyl

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