The Hidey Hole

Last week, there was a fight on the rec yard between two female inmates. The claws blew and the weave flew. After the fight was broke up, I stayed on the rec yard searching the area for any signs of weapons. The combatants were seen by medical to see about any injuries. Officers questioned the other inmates on the rec yard. Several of the inmates stated that one of the combatants had a knife. I made sure that the female officers escorting the combatants, performed a strip search to see if that combatant actually had a weapon. They performed a strip search and found nothing.

As the officers were putting her in lock down, I arrived in lock down before she was actually put in her cell. I asked the inmate if she had a weapon. She said no. I again asked her if she were sure that she did not have a weapon. Again she said no. I simply told her that I knew she had a weapon. She could either admit to it and tell me where it was or I could send her back to medical and have the nurse find it. She could tell me the truth and do it the easy way or she could choose to go to medical and do it the hard way. I didn’t really care which but one way or another I was going to find the knife.

She then admitted that she had the knife and it was inside her vagina. The female officers then escorted her back to medical, where the inmate, handcuffed behind her back, stuck her hands down her pants and came back up with a four inch pocketknife.

Later questioning the inmate, I found out that she was picked up outside of her job in a t-shirt and a thong. It seems that she was a dancer at a strip club. She had gone through at least three strip searches without the knife being discovered. It must take a wealth of muscle control to squat down and cough three times without dislodging a four inch pocketknife from ones cooter. And to be able to push it out slick as a whistle on demand. I have heard of dancers in Mexico that can insert a roll of quarters and spit them back out one at a time but I have never actually seen anyone that has that type of control. I would imagine that her talents earned her a good amount of tips.

I know what many of you are saying. Damn that’s nasty. But you couldn’t be farther from the truth. The knife came out slick as a whistle and not a funk mark one was on it. It just proves as my friend Fuzz always says, ‘It’s a Sick World, and I’m a Happy Man.’

14 Responses to “The Hidey Hole”

  1. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    I don’t think I’ll ever look at a MacGuyver rerun in the same way again. Great story.

    Truth is stranger than fiction. – Evyl

  2. Wow . . can you imagine the strength her pussy would have on a cock? Lock down!

    Believe me, I can imagine. – Evyl

  3. I been doin’ my Kegels but baby!! I can only aspire to that kinda control!! Sheeeesh!! 🙂

    She is a knife wielding inspiration. – Evyl

  4. wow she sounds amazing.. Does she give lessons?
    I’d be so scared the knife would unfold n cut me or something…

    She will be indisposed for a while. – Evyl

  5. Fuck!

    That’s all.

    Just a gosbmacked verbal exclamation.

    Amazing, huh? – Evyl

  6. Oooo I have seen something like that. In Bangkok (such an aptly named place) they have hoochie coochie girls who can blow smoke rings out their cooter. Weird, but fascinating.

    And hoochie coochie is an aptly named place as well. – Evyl

  7. OK
    This is almost as good as something I did see. A stripper at the Tuscaloosa County State Fair stuck 6 ping pong balls with numbers 1 – 6 up in her in order. She then retrieved them 1 – 6. How in the hell did she manage that?
    Now that I think of it, I would probably be afraid to stick anything into something that powerful.

    I might not be afraid to stick it in, but I’d be scared as hell to pull it out. – Evyl

  8. Wow! She’s good! I can’t believe she passed 3 inspections.
    Does she have kids? I’m just wondering cuz I think if she’s given birth, she probably wouldn’t be able to do that. Let me know, k?
    I remember hearing stories about strippers overseas slicing a banana via their vajajay.
    It slices, it dices! Okay… mine doesn’t do either, but I’m gonna start practicing.

    Now that’s scary. And I doubt that she has any children but I will check. – Evyl

  9. She’d give a whole new meaning to milking someone wouldn’t she???

    Ain’t that the truth. – Evyl

  10. Everyone has at least one hidden talent 😮

  11. whoa Nelly… that’s some talent there. As much as i kegal i couldn’t do that – no way. Not that i’ve ever tried mind you. 😛

    There is no telling what she could do if she used her talents for good. – Evyl

  12. WOW! Someone has done A LOT of kegels!

    She’s been giving it a workout someway. – Evyl

  13. Is it wrong that the first thing I think is “Oh snap, I totally bet I could do that”?

    Cool. – Evyl

  14. For real? — the claws blew and the weaves flew… perfect!

    Yep, there was weave everywhere. – Evyl

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