Tuesday’s Twisted Tasteless Poetry: Episode IV

I came across a column that stated that Spam is undergoing a sort of revival as food prices are climbing as a result of runaway fuel costs. No doubt that the bargain foods of raman noodles and Vienna Sausages will soon see sales go up as well. With that in mind, I decided to re-post one of my favorite tasteless poems from one of my old blogsites.

Ode To A Vienna

Late last night, my heart quickened
For the taste of mechanically separated chicken.
To the Cupboard, My quest began
Searching for that meaty goodness in a can.

I do not spot it but I know it’s there.
I continue my search. I do not despair.
Eureka, I spy, Behind the boil-in-bag rice
Beside the salt, pepper, and spice.

I pull back the lid and peer inside.
Joy of Joy my eyes open wide.
The juice is warm and fluid
Not like goo on the corpse of a Druid.

I tip the jar and drink the brine.
Oh the taste, so mighty fine.
Carefully so carefully, I pull out the wiener
Success, one whole piece, it could come out no cleaner.

My snack complete. I’m off to rest.
Perchance to dream, perhaps of breasts.
But just as I start to nod,
Acid Reflux, Oh My God!

7 Responses to “Tuesday’s Twisted Tasteless Poetry: Episode IV”

  1. evyl you’re a fucking legend mwhahahahahahahahahahahaha

    You are far too kind. – Evyl

  2. That was AWESOME! LOL. Seriously, do one for Spam. Please.

    I could try but truth be told I hate Spam. – Evyl

  3. aaahahaha, oh geeezus. i could smelll them damn weiners as i read this. *bleh* the mister eats ’em for breakfast.

    Breakfast of Champions. – Evyl

  4. and yes, i vote for a spam ditty.

    Maybe. – Evyl

  5. I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit. Ergh!

    It was the goo on the corpse of a Druid line huh. But there is no other word in the English language that rhymes with fluid. None. Sorry ’bout the bile. – Evyl

  6. CrazyDan Says:

    I love the Vienna Sauge but did you know that Vienna is also famous for their balls?. Its true there are over 200 significant balls per year. Most Viennese men and women have visited a few balls in their lifetime, but who hasn’t?. For many people, the ball season lasts three months and can include up to ten or fifteen separate appearances. I am not sure I really understand how they do that becasue I tried seperating my balls and ended up with something that looked like B Arther. I do have to admit that I am a little jealous of the Viennse I would love for my balls to have ten or fifteen appearances. I think my next vaction will be in Vienna so I can invite lots of people to my balls.

    Dude, I had no idea. That is mind boggling. BTW, Great fucking comment. It damn sure puts you in the running for Freak of the Week. – Evyl

  7. I understand you. That scares me. 😯

    Be afraid. Be very afraid. – Evyl

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