Freak Of The Week Contest: Week Eight

One of the great things about e-mail is the ability to pass on truly twisted jokes to everyone that you have ever known in the blink of an eye. I always appreciate receiving jokes, fucked up videos, and disgusting pics in my inbox. This week’s Freak of the Week Contest is to simply share a favorite freaky joke. The joke voted the freakiest by the Freak Finding Panel of Judges wins the coveted Freak of the Week title.

Good luck to all freaks and friends. And I thought that I would share a joke that I received the other day to get the ball rolling.

The testicles of a Texas Midget hurt and ached most all the time. The midget went to a doctor to explain his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants.

The doctor stood him on the examining table and started examining him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the approved method to check for a hernia.

‘Hmm,’ mumbled the doctor and placed his finger on the midgets right testicle and had him cough again.

‘Aha,’ said the doctor. And then he reached for his surgical scissors.

Snip-Snip-Snip on the right side then Snip-Snip-Snip on the left side. The midget was so scared that he was afraid to look down but noted with amazement that the snipping didn’t hurt. The doctor then asked the midget to walk around and see if his testicles still hurt.

The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the examination room and experienced no pain in his testicles at all.

The doctor asked, ‘How does that feel now?’

The midget replied, ‘Perfect Doc. And I didn’t even feel it. What did you do?’

The doctor replied, ‘I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.’

Thanks to everyone in advance for playing along. Have fun and Good Luck!!!

24 Responses to “Freak Of The Week Contest: Week Eight”

  1. Can it be a funny picture?

    It most certainly can. You can either e-mail it to me or submit it as a link. I have received two already via e-mail. – Evyl

  2. OK, here goes, Evyl- but can I post more than one?

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding on the range one day. The two came to a stop, where Tonto jumped off his horse and put his head on the ground to listen to see if anyone was coming.
    After a few seconds he rose and said, “Buffalo come.”
    The Lone Ranger was amazed and proclaimed “Damn you Indians are smart, how the hell did you know there were buffaloes coming?”
    Tonto replied, “Face sticky.”

    Post as many as you wish. And I love Lone Ranger jokes. – Evyl

  3. “Cause here’s another:

    A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.”
    The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!”
    “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.”
    “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!”
    “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!”
    The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!”
    “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!”
    The wife sits and thinks about it.
    Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?”
    The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!”
    “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!”
    “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”

    Now that is truly tasteless. I love it. – Evyl

  4. Heather Says:

    A business man was going to Boston, and all of his friends and co-workers were jealous. “Boston!” they said. “Boston has the best scrod in all the land, you must, must have scrod while you’re there!”

    So this businessman was VERY focused on finding the very best scrod that Boston had to offer. He gets off the plane, gets his bags, and hails a taxi.

    “Where to?” asks the cabbie

    “Take me to get scrod!” cried the businessman.

    The cabbie shakes his head. “Brother, I have been asked that question a million times in a million ways, but never in the past pluperfect subjunctive tense.”

    Heather

    Heather, it is damn good to see you around. Great joke and thanks for playing along. – Evyl

  5. Jokes that have been e-mailed.

    Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!”

    She says, “Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up.”

    After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says gain “Man! My hands are really freezing!”

    She says again, “Well put them here between my legs and warm them up.”

    He does, and again that warms him up.

    After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night.

    When he returns, he again says, “Honey, my hands are really freezing!”

    She looks at him and says, “FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON’T YOUR EARS EVER GET COLD?”

    OR This one:

    A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, “What’s the camel for?”.

    The Sergeant replied “Well sir it’s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel.”

    The captain said “Well if it’s good for moral, then I guess it’s all right with me.”

    After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sergeant, “BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!”

    The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters. The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, “Is that how the enlisted men do it?”

    The Sergeant replied, “Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town.”

    Thanks, Jennifer. – Evyl

  6. I’ll have to think a while and decide what joke to give ‘ya, ‘cuz I know A LOT. But in the mean time since you like The Lone Ranger….

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding nearly all day when they finally came into a little town. They stopped to get a drink and rest at a saloon. As The Lone Ranger was tying up his horse he found that the poor animal was just drenched in sweat. “You stay out here and run around my horse real fast like, maybe it’ll create a kind of wind tunnel and cool him off” he told Tonto.
    A little while later as The Lone Ranger was sitting at the bar enjoying his drink a guy came into the bar and sat down next to him.
    “That your horse outside?” the stranger asked.
    “Yeah it is,” answered The Lone Ranger.
    “You left your injen running.”

    That’s phunny. – Evyl

  7. dontdatethatdude Says:

    Okay heres a joke for you, I also emailed you some photos!

    A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him
    against a charge of bestiality.

    “I know a great trial lawyer,” the fellow said, “but he’s
    expensive and doesn’t know how to pick a jury. I know another
    lawyer,” he continued, “who’s not a great trial lawyer, but
    he’s cheap and really knows how to pick a jury.”

    The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had
    second thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began his
    testimony.

    “I saw Jed mount his goat from behind,” he said, “and when he
    was finished, I saw the goat turn around and lick Jed’s
    pecker.”

    The accused farmer was devastated and had all but given up
    hope of acquittal when a juror in overalls whispered to the
    fellow next to him, “You know, a good goat will do that.”

    Hells yeah. There is not much funnier than a good goat screwing joke. – Evyl

  8. dontdatethatdude Says:

    A few more and then I have to stop, I have a lot!

    I had a wet dream about my X-husband last night.
    I dreamt he was run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing.

    or

    A horse and a chicken lived on a farm owned by a very rich man. The two of them were the best of friends and did everything together. One day, they were taking a walk by the lake, and the horse fell into the water. The horse screamed for the chickens help, but he was too small to pull him out. So the chicken ran back to the farm and got the farmers convertible so he could pull the horse out. The horse was very grateful and promised he would do anything for him.

    A few days later, the two went for another walk by the lake, but this time the chicken fell into the water. The chicken screamed for the horses help. The horse didn’t know what to do until he looked at his cock. He told the chicken to grab on and used it to pull him out of the water. The chicken was very grateful.

    The moral of the story is:
    If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a nice car to pick up chicks!!

    or

    Yard Work Sign Language!
    A couple is doing yard work and the wife goes to take a shower. Her husband is looking for a rake and can’t find it. He yells up to his wife, but she motions to him from the window like she can’t hear.

    So he points to his eye, hits his knee, and then makes raking motions.
    (“I need the rake.”)

    She replies by pointing to her eye ,
    grabbing her left breast,
    slaps her butt, then rubs her crotch.

    The man is confused and runs upstairs.

    “What? What was that?”

    “Eye, left tit, behind, the bush.”

    Great jokes. Love the ex-joke. – Evyl

  9. How do you know your girlfriend is really hot?
    When you put your hand in her panties and it feels like you’re feeding a horse.

  10. There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

    The little girl says, “Mommy, what are they doing?” The mother hesitates then quickly replies, “Ummm they are making cakes.”

    The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, “Making cakes.”

    The next day the girl says to her mother, “Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, huh?” Shocked, the mother asks, “How do you know?”

    She says, “Because I licked the icing off the sofa.”

    OMG, that is so fuckin’ disgusting. I freakin luv it!!! – Evyl

  11. One more …

    A boy was sitting on Santa’s lap and Santa puts his finger on the boys nose and says “I bet your name is J-I-M-M-Y.”

    The little boys eyes light up and Santa puts his finger on the boy’s nose again and says ” I bet you want a B-I-K-E.”

    Little Jimmy’s eyes light up and he asks “How’d you know that ?”

    Santa replied “Because I’m Santa I know everything”.

    Little Jimmy gets a funny look in his eye and says “I bet you like G-I-R-L-S.”

    Santa says “Yes, how’d you know that ?” The boy says ” Because your finger smells like P-U-S-S-Y!!!!”

    Out of the mouths of babes… Great stuff. – Evyl

  12. joebecca Says:

    HERES A COMPLETELY TASTELESS JOKE FOR YOU!

    3 men are out at sea when a horrible storm hits. Their ship goes down, but luckily all three men wash safely ashore on what they think is a deserted island.

    After a few days of staying close to shore waiting for rescue, the men begin to get hungry and decide to go searching for food. On their search they come across an old farm house, on acres of land with corn stalks and other vegetables all around. They decide they will knock and ask the owners to share their bountiful harvest with them.

    When they knock, a woman calls out to tell them to come on in. They enter and to their horror they see a 700lb woman, covered in boils and scabs sitting in the middle of the room. When they explain what they want and what happened to them, she strikes a deal “I will give each of you food, but you will all have to fuck me.”

    The three men look at each other and decide to draw straws to see who will have to go first. The losing guy tells the other 2 to wait outside and he’ll fuck her so good, she won’t need to fuck the other two and they’ll get all the food they want. The losing guy goes around to the back yard and picks some stalks of corn.

    He walks into the house, and tell the woman to close her eyes and he’ll fuck her.
    So he takes out the corn and starts fucking the nasty woman with the corn, covering it in discharge and maggots until it’s coated. He then tosses them out the window. When the woman is satisfied and he’s out of corn, he tells her, that since he fucked her so good, his friends shouldn’t have to fuck her too. She agrees, and tells him that he and his friends can take what they want.

    The guy runs outside to his friends to tell them the good news. He’s surprised as they come running up to him, rubbing their bellies with HUGE smiles.

    “Man that was the best meal ever!”
    “What are you talking about?”
    “That buttered corn and rice was delicious!”
    “What buttered corn and rice?”
    “The corn you were throwing out the window…”

    Yep, that’s tasteless alright. And damn funny. – Evyl

  13. Those are all good ones – I think I’ll just watch.
    WC

    There are some doozies but surely you could share at least one. – Evyl

  14. ROFLMFAOPMSL

    They’re a great way to start the day 😉

    Ain’t it though. – Evyl

  15. Q: What’s the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?

    A: In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia, it’s a misdemeanor.

    Alright, you want disgusting?

    A guy is going down on a girl and finds a piece of corn, potato and carrot and says, “Hey, are you sick or something?”
    She says, “No, the last guy that was down there was.”

    More disgusting?

    Q: How do you get a Nun pregnant?
    A: Fuck her.

    Q: How do you NOT get a Nun pregnant?
    A: Fuck her in the ass (I’m going to hell for this)

    Last but not least . . .
    Q!: What would you call the Beatles if they were black?
    {email me for the answer} :mrgreen:

    ~m

    I am going to hell too because I laughed like a motherfucker at the nun joke. – Evyl

  16. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    here’s some from my batch of necrophilia jokes

    Loving you is like loving the dead, except I have to bring a Ouija board for them to be all talk AND no action.

    Loving you is like loving the dead. I spend more on pest control than prophylactics.

    Loving you is like loving the dead – sticky, disease-ridden, and illegal in most states.

    with those out of the way, my next submissions will be via email

    Nothing quite like a few good necrophelia jokes to start the day off right. – Evyl

  17. A modern-day cowboy has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He’s crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden, he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
    He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an Internal Revenue Service ID badge and a dull gray dress. There’s a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
    “Well, cowboy,” says the genie. “You know how I work. You have three wishes.”
    “I’m not falling for this.” Says the man. “I’m not going to trust an IRS lawyer genie!”

    “What do you have to lose? You’ve got no transportation, and it looks like you’re a goner anyway!”
    The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.
    “OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.”
    POOF: The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

    “OK, cowpoke, what’s your second wish?”
    “My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams.”
    POOF: The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
    “OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!”
    After thinking for a few minutes, the man says, “I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.”
    POOF: He is turned into a tampon.

    The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there’s going to be a string attached.

    I love a joke with a good moral. – Evyl

  18. and this one also…. 8)

    Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack’s mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

    “I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,” she explained. “I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”
    “Don’t worry,” Jack said. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.”
    The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
    They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
    About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
    It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
    He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North?”
    “Yes, I do.”
    “Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?”
    “Yes,” Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. “I have to admit that I did.”
    “And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?”
    Bob’s face turned red and he said, “Yeah, sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?”
    “She just died and left me everything.”
    (And you thought the ending would be different, didn’t you?)

    This really makes me think. Perhaps I should stop handing out my bosses business card at bars. – Evyl

  19. tee*hee*hee ….

    i’m just here lurking & reading/ i can’t help myself …. u have some freakin funny frenz; i luv it….. i dunno how the heck u can pick just 1. ; )

    The Freak Finding Panel of Judges will have their work cut out for them this week. – Evyl

  20. And necrophilia jokes too…

    Can this day get any better? 🙂

    It just keeps on getting better all the time. – Evyl

  21. funny!
    i’ll have to look for an appropriate joke…
    watch this space 😉

    I’ll keep an eye on your space anytime, darlin’. – Evyl

  22. Hi Evyl,

    Superman was flying around on patrol when he spotted Wonder Woman sunbathing in the nude atop a building. He wanted to head down and make a pass at her, but was afraid Lois Lane would find out. He started to fly on by, but then he realized with his super speed he could swoop down, have his way, and be gone before she could even know what was happening. While he felt a bit guilty about it, he couldn’t resist and did just that.

    Immediately after the incident, Wonder Woman looked around and asked, “What was that?” To which the Invisible Man replied, “I don’t know. Now, do you know why my ass suddenly started hurting?”

    ——-

    A man goes to the doctor with a complaint about constant pain in his penis. The doctor takes a look at the organ in question and recoils in horror at the sight of the purple twisted lump of flesh between the man’s legs. Not knowing what could cause this deformity, the doctor prescribes pain pills and tells the man to come back in a month, figuring that would give him time to do some research.

    A month later the man comes in and says his condition has gone away, which the doctor confirms by examination. Puzzled, the doctor asks if the man knows why he improved.

    The man replies, “When I left here last month I felt the urge to visit the restroom, so I stopped at the one in your lobby. I couldn’t help but notice that the man next to me got the last few drops out by tapping his dick. I’ve been tapping ever since and I’m feeling much better.”

    “What,” the doctor asked, “were you doing before?”

    “Oh, I used to just wring it out,” the man replied.

    the Grit

    You can shake it, you can break it, you can beat it on the wall, but until you stick it in your pants the last drop just won’t fall. – Evyl

  23. joebecca Says:

    here’s another cutesy one:

    What would you call a lesbian dinosaur?

    a Lickalotapus

    and a couple shorties… you know i do this only because i love you!

    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”
    “”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

    A guy walks in to a bar looking down in the dumps. He sits down and the bartender asks what he’s having. He promptly responds,
    “I want 5 shots of the strongest liquor you got!”
    The bartender pours the 5 shots and the man proceeds to down them all, one after another.
    The bartender asks him what the deal is, why all the shots right in a row. the man answers,

    “my first blowjob, and it wasn’t a very good one.”
    The bartender says, “Well, hell, even a bad blowjob is better than none at all!, Congrats guy, here’s another shot for you on the house!”

    The man says, “Thanks for the freebie, but will you get me another 5 rounded up too? I’m still trying to get the taste out of my mouth.”

    and these all better count as submissions too!! 😉

    They count are some damn funny ones too. – Evyl

  24. Oh I almost forgot about the contest!

    ***This one’s not freaky, but it’s one of my favs!***
    Saturday morning Ted got up early, dressed quietly, made his lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.
    The wind was blowing 50 mph. He pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. He went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
    There he cuddled up to his wife’s back, now with a different anticipation,
    and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.
    “Yeah, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?” she replied.

    ******
    A newly-wed couple wake up on the first morning of the their honeymoon in the Caribbean and decide to take a stroll down the beach.
    On their way they pass a shanty house, and sitting on the front porch is an overweight woman, stark naked, legs akimbo, eating a slice of watermelon.
    The husband sees this and liking the idea of his new wife exhibiting her body in public asks her whether she would do the same. The wife looks at him in disgust and refuses.
    The second morning they pass the shanty house again and, sure enough, the overweight woman is sitting on the porch stark naked, legs akimbo, eating another slice of watermelon.
    Not being put off be his new wife’s refusal, the husband enquires of his wife, “Why don’t you go over and ask that woman what it feels like to sit there naked, letting the air waft over your pussy?” The wife again refuses.
    This continues each morning for two weeks until it is the last day of the honeymoon. Each morning they would pass by the woman, each morning the husband would try to persuade his new wife to copy her and each morning the wife would refuse.
    However, it being the last morning the husband gives it one more try and enquires of his wife, “Why don’t you go over and ask that woman what it feels like to sit there naked, letting the air waft over your pussy?”
    The wife finally gives in, opens the gate of the shanty house and walks up to the overweight woman on the front porch. “What does it feel like to sit there naked, letting the air waft over your pussy?” she asks, hesitantly.
    “I don’t rightly know, replies the woman, “but it sure keeps the flies off of my watermelon.”

    ******
    A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide.
    One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.
    “Yes, but you know how I love to fish…”
    “But aren’t you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?”
    “Yes, but she’s got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish”
    A few hours later, “I understand, but that’s not the only way to have sex.”
    “I know, but she’s got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish…”
    The following day: “Sure, but that’s still not the only way to have sex.”
    “Yeah, but she’s got phyrrea; and you know how I love to fish…”
    Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated the guide comments, “I guess I’m not sure why you’d marry someone with health problems like that.”
    “It’s ’cause she’s also got worms; and you know I just love to fish…”

    ***And I think I’ll join you in hell for this one***
    An interactive joke:
    Hold up your palm face forward.
    Now put it up to your mouth and make biting gestures.
    Can you guess what it is?
    It’s Jesus, biting his nails.

    {I’ve told that one a million times, yet I’m laughing again just typing it!}

    ******
    A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident, but after controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
    The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
    The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
    The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
    The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’ Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

    ***And another of my favs***
    A little girl and her mother were walking down the sidewalk. “Mommy, why is the sky blue?” the little girls asked; and of course her mother explained it to the best of her knowledge.
    “Why do the birds fly?” she asked; and again the mother explained.
    “What makes the flowers grow?” – “Why does the wind blow?” – “Where do the clouds go?” – and so it went on for a little while until finally the little girl asks,
    “Mom, how come you know everything?”
    “Because you have to take a mommy test before you become a mom.”
    They walked along in silence for a little while when finally the little girl said, “Oh!! So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy, right?”
    EXACTLY!!!

    ******
    C:ENTER:###
    Know what that is?
    It’s how a gay man has sex.
    You pronounce it like this:
    See colon. Enter colon. Pound. Pound. Pound.

    ******
    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks
    into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
    While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
    To which the wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was
    whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you, too!”

    Ok, that’s all I’ve got time for right now. 🙂
    LOVE this week’s conetst by the way!

    It’s nice to see that I will have some damn fine company in hell. Great stuff. – Evyl

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