A Little Payback

 I recently consented to a grilling by A-Mum. I tried to be honest but I probably ended up looking like a fucking sap. As I wouldn’t give my answers without a little quid pro quo, I asked A-mum a few questions of my own. Here are her answers:

 1. Describe the perfect meal. What are you having and where are you having it?

    What?  Hot and spicy for sure, probably  Indian, accompanied by good red wine, candles and flowers on the table. Where? Preferably beside the water, with a brilliant view of the sunset over the water. And across from me, someone who is game enough to have me go down on him under the table while the waiter is serving the dessert wine.

    2. I have seen you describe a blog as having an ‘Aussie Flavor’. Describe ‘Aussie Flavor’ and how does it differ from a typical American blog.

     It’s the turn of phrase. Aussies and Americans get on very well as you know, but they have totally different ways of using words. We use an enormous amount of slang here in Oz and that translates to our blogs we well. I try to cut it down a bit for my American friends, but it’s not easy sometimes. And American blogs {with some notable exceptions} are so well spoken and polite. Not that we mind that, it can be a nice change. It’s not that we’re not polite, it’s that we don’t flower it up you know? I always tell you over here a shovel is not a horticultural implement, it’s something you fucking dig with and it shows on blogs and in the comments from Aussies. Let me add, I have nothing against the way our American cousins word a post!

    3. The blog-gods have spoken and you can only have two widgets. What widgets do you keep?

This was fucking hard let me say! You near killed me when I read this question!! I broke out in a cold sweat and started shaking almost, until i realised it was just a question and not real! I loves me some widgets, that’s obvious. The first is easy. My blogroll. I would die if I had to type in all those URL’s everyday , plus it can be added to. The second wasn’t  quite so simple, and I’m still not convinced I went the right way, but I settled on a text widget so I can put a quote a day on there and people will realise how wise and deep I can be {one crack from the peanut gallery and there’ll be trouble!}

    4. Give us a few thoughts on your favorite potent potable.

I have to fess up here. I had NFI what you were talking about, but thanks to Websters online I worked it out! You mean my favourite drink right??? Well, I HOPE that’s what you meant, cos that’s what you’re getting.  A vodka, lime and lemonade would win hands down here. I have a real soft spot for vodka, however…it’s been responsible for me hitting more people than i can poke a stick at! I can drink a dozen vodka’s and be fine, but one mouthful of the 13th and if just one person says one thing I take exception to? They’re going down like a bag of shit and I’m going back to my drink. A girlfriend and I had 26 each one night and walked out upright, which I’m immensely proud of. Not to proud of getting locked up cos some fucktard tried to give us a hard time and we beat 40 shades of shit out of him though. On the positive side, we were STILL standing in the cell! I rarely drink vodka these days and when I do,  only have one or 2. 

    5. Oral Sex? Good clean fun or does the thought of it leave a bad taste in your mouth?

I can’t believe you were so coy about this Evyl. Why didn’t you just say “a-mum, do you swallow”??? I LOVE oral sex. Love it. The most fun you can have i think. I enjoy every minute of both giving and receiving, and I’m damned good at giving let me say, but! You’d best be moving real fucking quick if you come in my mouth cos I’m taking a fucking great chunk out of your your junk! I’ve done it before, I’d do it again. Not a man alive wants stitches in his dick I’m thinking? Well, I can assure you, there’s at least one I know of needed 3.  Bet he’s never done what he was asked NOT to do again do you think?

    6. If you could choose one adage that you think is the best answer to one of life’s hardest lesson, what would it be?

This was another that made me think, because I have several I live by, but if I HAD to choose just 1,  well I need to explain why. As most people would be aware, Mark is my 3rd husband {for those that didn’t know, yes you heard right, and no I’m not a giant vagina that eats men for breakfast either} Much of the reason those marriages went to the wall was for lack of communication. Take it from one who learned the hard way. NEVER EVER EVER go to bed on an argument. It doesn’t matter if you talk until the sun comes up. Sort it out, don’t sleep on it. I don’t make that mistake this time. We talk.

    7. What thing would you like for your readers to come away with after reading your blog?

Gee, I’ve never thought about this too hard. There are a few things I can think of when I do consider it. A smile, the feeling that they know what makes me tick just a little bit more, a better understanding of my life and why I am who I am. All of those things and a driving desire to tell all and sundry about the crazy Australian grandmother who resides at The Nook of Oz!

    8. If you could name one place that a person shouldn’t miss on a visit to Australia, where would it be?

Sydney Harbour. It’s THE most beautiful place you’ll see. Heaps to do, beautiful gardens around it, lots of shops for the girls, chicky babes for the boys, the Opera House, great view of the bridge. It has everything going for it. That and our dinner table! Good food, good wine and fucking brilliant company!

    9. What is your favorite all purpose curse word?

 Fuck! No hesitation there. Boring huh?
    

10. Okay, ‘fess up. How many times a day do you look at your blog stats?

Once, just before I go to bed because they’ve normally just kicked to a new day at that point and it gives me an idea of the whole day. I was quite obsessed with them for a while, but when I hit 50k I gave up. Having said that, if and when I get close to 100k I’ll probably get just as obsessed again.

Now if you haven’t visited The Nook of Oz, what the fuck are you still doing here. After all you are missing the chance to see me make a complete ass of myself. And while your over there tell A-Mum hey. You won’t be disappointed. She is spot on one of the best damn bloggers in the ‘sphere. From heartfelt to bust a gut funny, she’s a no holds barred winner.

24 Responses to “A Little Payback”

  1. That was brilliant! Great interview, Evyl. You let us learn a bit more about one our favorite bloggers! Thanks!

    She is a great one. – Evyl

  2. LOL Evyl, loved that widget question. Moe, you are our most candid girl, hands down, in the blogosphere. I love you to pieces. YOu kill me. Oh and yes, vodka gimlet, please. Now, I know what we’ll be drinking. LOL.
    Annie

    Widget is such a fun little word. I can’t drink vodka and lemons together. Once years ago when I was still in school, I had a bottle of vodka but no mixer except for Kool-Aid Lemonade. I would rather dry heave tequila for 2 hours than to even puke a little Vodka and Kool-Ade Lemonade in my mouth. It has to be the second worst taste that I have ever had in my mouth. – Evyl

  3. LOL
    Loved your questions, Evyl 😉
    And Moe’s answers were bloody funny, as always 😛

    She rocks don’t she? – Evyl

  4. Whoo! Another awesome interview! What great week for interviews!

    I giggled at Mum having to look up the potent potables right after she mentioned the difference between Aussie and American speak. 🙂 Way to prove her point there Evyl!

    And I have never tasted a vodka drink I like. I was a tequila gal all the way back in my party days.

    I always thought that you were most likely a tequila gal. There is nothing like the stuff. – Evyl

  5. I don’t know if I can be friends with a woman who doesn’t swallow.

    Oh wait. You’re married.

    Yeah I can.

    *chuckle*

    And West Texans and Aussies are very similar in a way. Not in that we sound anything alike. But we tend to be mad men, and linguistically, Aussies and West Texans diphthong like bastards and STAND on those vowels when they speak. *laughing*

    I have noticed the similarities between Aussies and West Texans. We send to have the same in your face attitude and have a tendency to not beat around the bush but get down to the heart of the matter. And to tell the truth, I can understand the Aussie accent a lot easier than the residents of a lot of different regions of the US. – Evyl

  6. Loved it!
    Oral sex, Mum. I love you.
    I dooo love me some Aussie slang. Some of them words are the shit!

    She’s great. I appreciate slang. I might add that reading Jayne’s blog is helping me with Aussie Slang. – Evyl

  7. Very very cool.

    Great answers huh. – Evyl

  8. Not too sure what to say here. Unusual for me to be stuck for words hey?? Best be getting my shit together here!

    Trisha: I’m a favourite? *blushing* Thank you! Let me say I’ve been trawling the archives at your place and it’s MOST impressive. Damn I wish I looked as good as you! I’m quite jealous!
    😉

    Annie: Candid I am..when I’m asked. Don’t often give people the opportunity, but when I do, I let it all hang out *shrug* I find it hard to NOT tell the truth is my problem {gets me in all sorts of shit too!!} Love you too hon…

    Jayne: Nice to know I gave you a laugh hon…makes my day when I know someone is smiling…

    Jennifer: I can drink vodka any way it’s served..Harvey Wallbanger is a goodun, and a Black Russian..YUMMO!

    Gadfly: I wandered over to your place. You can be my friend if you want…some funny stuff happening there! Need to learn NOT to be drinking hot tea when i go though!

    Red: Oral sex is great, I just don’t want a hot feed while I’m there is all! What a great description of the way we speak! I love it! Never heard it called that before
    😆

    Widdleshamrock: I thanks you honey
    :mrgreen:

    For not knowing what to say, you said a mouthful darlin’. 😉 Seriously though, You are awesome and it shows. – Evyl

  9. from now on you will be called PIMPIN’ EVYL 😉
    very nice ring to it… LOL

    Add the word Smooth to the front of it and it rocks. – Evyl

  10. LOL that was a good interview. Does this mean we dont get to ask A-mum our own questions?? she promised us we could!!

    Oh when you said widget it reminded me evyl!! apparently the guy that played mini me in austin powers has a sex video somewhere on the internet. Yup midget sex. you shud track it down.

    I have seen a bit of it at TMZ. It is crazy cool. – Evyl

  11. QB: Yes, you still get a question…everyone does…one for me, one for Mark…but be prepared for the answers
    😉

  12. That was a great interview! I’m heading over to her place now!

    Stay and read a bit over there. It is worth your while. – Evyl

  13. Just read your interview over there and left a comment…. no wonder I like you so much. 🙂

    I’ll go check it out. – Evyl

  14. You did not make an ass of yourself Evyl. Your have many layers. I guess your like an onion, a bunch of layers that can be sweet and strong, and sometimes make you burn or bite you back, some make you cry but if you like onions and understand and appreciate the great flavor they add you always come back for more.

    ….shit I think I just made an ass of myself!

    I really enjoyed your interview as I did this one. This is the second interview I have read of A-Mum. She seems pretty great.

    I don’t know about onion. More like garlic that you have to whack a bit to get to the good stuff. And A-Mum is great. – Evyl

  15. dontdatethatdude Says:

    This was fun! I love her accent and of course her answers were brilliant. Wish I had time for more, want to go read yours! Great question!

    Thanks, hope my answers don’t freak you out too much over there. – Evyl

  16. I was just at Anonymum’s reading your interview and I had to visit. It was great to get to know you both through theses interviews. I see your comments on other blogs and enjoy your Evylness. My interview will show up some time in August. I’m not too evil myself but I have a cane and I love to whack people with it. Does that count?

    It damn sure counts to me. Thanks a lot for coming by and dropping a comment. I always appreciate it. – Evyl

  17. Evyl, you and Anonymum are some of the brightest blessings in blogging in my humble opinion. Straight down the line opinion will always be a winner in my book. You’re both amazing and to quote a little Aussie band, Spiderbait… “You’re fuckin’ awesome”

    Thanks darlin’. That means the world to me. – Evyl

  18. Anonymum deep???? If she’s being deep its while she’s under the table going down on her dining partner.

    And as for vodka, I do like Black Russians but prefer a G&T but I’m a cheaper drunk on them than other things.

    Seriously, a great interview Evyl. Great questions and its always great to learn a bit more about those whose blogs we read and love.

    I love cheap drunks. – Evyl

  19. Well, come on over then – I’ve been a cheap drunk for years now. And bring that gorgeous Texan drawl with you OK??? Been a long time since I have heard one in person – about 15 years since I was in Texas.

    Well neighbor that’s been too long. – Evyl

  20. was wondering how long the peanut gallery would take…got to be a blonde one for sure!
    oh! did i say that out loud???? well fuck me!!
    thanks gem…you’re a sweetie…a tart, but a sweet tart…like custard you know!
    😉

  21. dontdatethatdude Says:

    I loved your answers and left a sappy comment that needed moderation! it said something like she would cuss at me for spelling errors. I am notorious for bad speeling and grammer, so you may not get to read it. 😉

    She hasn’t jumped on my ass yet for grammatical errors. And believe me that I make my fair share. – Evyl

  22. All first time commentors go for moderation…and the spelling was ok…I’ve given up on Evyl..I just correct the fucking things!
    Having said that if I’d known his ass was up for jumping on…..
    😉

    In all actuallity there is no such word as commentor. In order to be grammatically correct, one should actually refer to someone that makes a comment as a commentator. But why quibble about spelling or grammar. There are so many better things to jump on. 😉 – Evyl

  23. dontdatethatdude Says:

    No one has jumped on me for anything in a LONG while, I was kind of looking forward to it! 😉

    Getting jumped on is somewhat of a hobby of mine. – Evyl

  24. Oh, my . . . my, my, my
    A true eyeopener.
    I mean that in a very good way 😉
    I love the widget question. That was hard, wasn’t it?
    Great interview, Evyl
    Well done, my man

    ~m

    Thanks, bud. – Evyl

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