Evyl 101: Sexual Positions

This isn’t some damn form of Kama Sutra or The Joy of Sex crap. If the truth be told most of those outlandish positions will only cause you to throw out your back or bust your balls. No, this is about the meat and potatoes of sexual positions. Those positions that are both anatomically feasible and can help bring about maximum enjoyment.

  • Cowgirl: I never have been too tired to fuck. But sometimes after a hard day at work, I just want to lie back and take it like a man. I am sure that many men feel the same way as me, so ladies when you see your man drag his weary carcass in from a rough day. Just climb on up and drive it like you stole it.
  • Doggie Style: There is no more beautiful sight on heaven or earth than the primitive beauty of a bare ass presenting itself in all it’s glory and wonder. So don’t wait until your man asks for it. Identify and represent.
  • Missionary: It is the bread and butter of sexual positions. It is what separates men from monkeys. No longer did we just wait for the opportunity to arise when a female bent over to get a drink out of the watering hole and break us off a chunk. No with charm and sophistication, we figured out the special joy of a female sprawled out with her ankles around her ears. Isn’t progress grand?

13 Responses to “Evyl 101: Sexual Positions”

  1. Long live the ambidextrous female.
    God, what a beautiful thang . . .

    Truth. – Evyl

  2. I’m partial to cowgirl myself.

    Of course it’s helpful when my girlfriend joins the fray.

    It’s a tough position without a human partner. Dolls tend to just sit there and sheep walk away. – Evyl

  3. I like exploring the Kama Sutra. 😦

    I once did myself but I ain’t as bendy as I once was. – Evyl

  4. How romantical you make all seem.

    “Identify and represent” hehe, this had me giggling for some reason.

    Yeah, romantical, that’s me. – Evyl

  5. “..with charm and sophistication, we figured out the special joy of a female sprawled out with her ankles around her ears.”

    😆 Charming indeed!

    Thanks darlin’. – Evyl

  6. “drive it like you stole it.” LOVE this Evyl!!

    Thanks Simonne. I appreciate that. – Evyl

  7. cowgirl is fun,
    But even better, is the reverse cowgirl (back to him, ride it like you stole it :P)

    Its like doggie style, but he works less..


    Although reverse cowgirl does have certain advantages, I just prefer the view on the good ol’ fashioned cowgirl. – Evyl

  8. QueenBitch Says:

    I like them all! I guess thats what happens when you dont get sex. *sighs* so evyl, how you doin? 😉

    Fine as wine darlin’. – Evyl

  9. Yup, back to basics. Like they say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Though the KS does have some very interesting pictures. Do you think people actually posed for ’em? 😉

    I can guarentee that I didn’t pose for it. – Evyl

  10. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    you forgot the most basic one, the original from which all others sprang. Flying Solo: Grab the stick and take yourself as far as you want to go.

    I have that lesson coming up shortly. – Evyl

  11. Ah, they’re all good as long as the people in the positions are enjoying them. I do however, personally love the three that you chose to write about here. Old favorites are hard to put aside.

    You are absolutely correct. – Evyl

  12. i ride it like it’s stolen every chance i get 🙂
    love that expression~!

    Glad that ya liked it. – Evyl

  13. “Just climb on up and drive it like you stole it.” Ha! Ha! Hold on. *still LOL* Ha! ha! ha! I never heard that before. That’s how I love it!

    Oh yeah!

    Oh Yeah. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout. – Evyl

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