Freak of The Week: Week 10

Yes indeedy freaks and friends, it is once again time to enter that glorious contest of wit, brains, charm, and freakishness. Freak of the Week is up for grabs yet again. Do you have what it takes to join the illustrious ranks of the past Freak of the Week Winners? Your assignment should you choose to accept it is to beat the caption. The winner as chosen by the Award Winning Freak Finding Panel of Judges will have their name glorified in the Freak of the Week page and will have bragging rights for an entire week. Enough of the Bullshit on with the contest.

Ms. Edna Snively, Beaver County Republican Chairperson, Nudist, and founder of the Anti-Brazilian League states that she will forever be ‘Pro-Bush.’

So go ahead and beat that caption. Good luck freaks and friends. You have until Sunday Night 8:00 PM CST to get in your entry. All entrants may submit as many entries as they damn well please. I thank all contestants in advance for their entries. And remember you are all freaks of the week in my eyes.

26 Responses to “Freak of The Week: Week 10”

  1. “I can’t find the pussy cat. He’s not in the outhouse.”

    Excellent. – Evyl

  2. Bikini wax? BIKINI WAX? If I wanted one of those I would never have sat on Dr. J, you stupid mother-fucker!!

    A beaver ‘fro. Nice. – Evyl

  3. Woman: “OMG, A POSSUM!” Possum: “OMG, A BEAVER!”

    OMG, indeed. – Evyl

  4. The day my wife’s furburger turned into a badly wrapped kebab 🙂

    I likes it. – Evyl

  5. dontdatethatdude Says:

    I know this is too long for an entry, but I could help myself:

    AP ANNOUNCEMENT 07/17/08
    Bush-Walla was accousted yesterday at sunrise while exiting
    an outhouse located on her property. Bush-Walla, a former
    exotic dancer and 2 time runner up for genus book’s award
    for most pubic hairs per square inch of body mass was
    urinating when she heard a rucus on the north easterly
    side of her compound, she was unable to escape the mob
    of admirer’s who scrambled to pluck crotch hairs from
    her world famous mound. Ms Walla refused to give her
    real name, but admitted to being a direct descendant of
    Eleanor Roosevelt. Ms Walla was not injured during the
    escapade, but can be seen above screaming obscenities at
    her adoring fans. “It just kind of gets to be too much, everyone
    want’s a piece of my bush.” Ms Walla told AP after the crowd
    was ushered off.
    Bush Walla is most noteable in the US for winning,
    Bush-Idol, American-freak, and Bush-Zilla’s bride of the congo
    body challenge. She is founder of Muff-Lover’s-Annonymous, (MLA)
    and has been featured once in Masters of Horror Magazine. She is
    also the poster child for the Anti aging campaign in the US and Abroad.
    Most recenlty Bush Walla has written a hit song, “Bush is Gonna Get Ya”

    I absolutely love it. – Evyl

  6. My eyes!!!!

    No, that’s not a caption… I am now blind!

    My eyes watered a bit when I saw it as well. That was the hysterical laughter though. – Evyl

  7. Now I am hearing Winona’s Big Brown Beaver by Primus!

    I love that tune. – Evyl

  8. All this time we thought the Marx brothers were dead. No, not an entry, just an aside. Good luck, everybody.
    WC

    Actually its a good entry. One of these days, I am going to make you Freak of the Week out of pure spite for not entering. – Evyl

  9. “turn her upside down, she can be a very homley man with wobbly knees”

    and EWWWWWW btw.

    I rotated the pic and you are absolutely right. – Evyl

  10. Hi Evyl,

    Let’s see:

    Put the Epi-Lady down and I’ll do what ever you want!

    Don’t worry, a mouthful of pubic hair contains 64% of your daily requirement of fiber.

    Bikini line?

    Are you making fun of my name, Harriet McCrotch?

    If your name is Larry, you have to try harry.

    No! I won’t wear a hair net while we do it!

    Hey! At least I shaved my tits.

    It’s a functional choice. I find it helps keep the smell contained.

    Go wild, it’s Scotch-Guarded.

    Baldness runs in my family, and I figured I might need to have a wig made.

    Does this make me look fat?

    If you’re nice, maybe I’ll shave it and knit you a scarf.

    Yes! I’m ______! (insert your preferred racial group here)

    Most men prefer to eat in the shade.

    Two out of three dentists recommend flossing after eating; I’m just trying to help.

    You wouldn’t want your ears to get cold during dinner, now would you?

    It’s a Government approved water purification system. You can safely drink my urine straight from the tap.

    Nair! Nair! My kingdom for some Nair!

    I was going to shave it, but the Sierra Club had it declared a wilderness preserve!

    the Grit

    You have some excellent entries here. Loved the Scotch Gard entry. – Evyl

  11. Heather Says:

    What the fuck – Chewbacca! Get your face outta my….wait. Oh, Chewie!

    Holy Fuck! I’ve got Macy Gray in a leg lock!

    OOOOOSSSSAAAAMMMMMAAAAA. Come out or I’m comin’ in!

    Naughty Heather

    This is a wonderful entry. – Evyl

  12. These answers are way to funny. The Grit out did himself/herself – holy hell, I LMAO!

    He did well. – Evyl

  13. I can hardly type l’m laughing that hard!!
    😆

    Entries are kickin’ it this week. – Evyl

  14. Crazy Dan Says:

    Just like Barack Obama: stiff, all over the place, and not quite black enough.

    Nice. – Evyl

  15. Crazy Dan Says:

    I think the press article would be some thing like this. The Rev. Jesse Jackson compared Obama to this photograph, stiff, all over the place, and not quite black enough.

    It’s so nice, it’s worth sayin’ twice. – Evyl

  16. Evyl Darling,
    The reason I don’t enter your freak contests is simply because I’m not freaky enough and I don’t stand a chance against any of the regular entrants. And actually, I did enter a couple of times. 🙂
    Annie

    Gotcha. 😉 – Evyl

  17. holy hell, Evyl, I told you not to show that photo of me I sent you last week. This really hurts.

    Now that’s phunny. – Evyl

  18. “Ma’am, we are arresting you for public nudity and assault with a nasty weapon. Are you hiding anything on your person?”

    I love the contraband angle. She could hide damn near anything in that bush. – Evyl

  19. Hi JavaQueen,

    It’s he, and many thanks.

    the Grit

  20. Crazy Dan Says:

    It looks like the next Harry Potter promotional poster. Underneath it would say “Once again I must ask you to do the impossible, Harry”

    Surely a ‘Reducto’ spell could cure it up. – Evyl

  21. Jimmy, the dad-blamed lawnmower is outa gas again and I got a date, dammit!

    Perhaps she will need the DR Field and Brush Mower. – Evyl

  22. Like Annie, I don’t consider myself nearly as freaky as the other entrants but here goes:

    After Barry had been asking for months, Edna decided to try a DIY Brazillian. She had everything set out ready to go, undies pulled up under her tits so she could do a quick cover up if Barry came home early, and then the fucking skunk appeared.

    Now you are just being modest. You know that you are freaky enough. – Evyl

  23. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    from a future cryptozoology textbook:

    “while repeated attempts have been made to assimilate the Sasquatch tribe into the modern world, even the best efforts produced only marginal success.”

    If she would turn around, I wonder how much hair she has on her ass. – Evyl

  24. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    it’s probably best not to speculate.

    You are most likely correct on this one. – Evyl

  25. These entries are hilarious! I can only thank god we don’t have a view of her backside.

    I hope she’s not a mom… that’s some serious rug burn to give a newborn. CPS might even get called in.

    Talk about a bad case of rugburn, it would affect a lot more than the babies knees. – Evyl

  26. Davorama Says:

    Hey Abner!! Feel asleep in the outhouse and my pussy fell clean off. But by the grace of God and two fingers, I shoved it back on..
    …by the way, you seen the cat anywhere?

    Phunny. – Evyl

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