Freak Of The Week: Week 11
Yes my good freaks and friends, it is once again time to put the Freak of the Week honors up for grabs. Will you have what it takes to join the illustrious ranks of the previous Freak of the Week winners? Do you have what it takes to win the most prestigious, coveted, and lusted over contest in the entire blogosphere? Are you ready for the fame, power, and glory that comes with being The Freak Of The Week? If you boldly and proudly proclaim, ‘Hell Yeah’ then this weeks contest should be a walk in the park. Your mission should you choose to accept it is to simply describe why you have what it takes to be Freak of the Week.
Good luck freaks and friends and may the best freak win!!!
From Evyl With Love 
July 24, 2008 at 7:39 pm
I’ve got what it takes to be freak of the week…IN MY PANTS!
Short and freaky. The comment that is. I have no idea if the freak in your pants merits the same description. – Evyl
July 24, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I vote for Earl. He’s right. He’s a freak. I don’t know that what’s in his pants has anything to do with it though. 😉
But he does have what it takes –
He has stated he wouldn’t mind looking like Bug-Eyed Earl because he’s “unique.”
He has a love-hate relationship with the theme on his blog because of the lack of bullets.
Aaannd he fully admits to spending an evening in a Red Lobster parking lot checking out the people who were entering a swinger’s club. He didn’t go IN the club, just watched the other people go in. If that isn’t freaky I don’t know what is. LOL
Duly noted but surely there is some reason that you would be deserving of freak of the week. Share. – Evyl
July 24, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I want to state for the record that I wanted to go into the swinger’s club, but my less adventurous friend chickened out. So we went the Red Lobster route. There.
Did you try liquoring up your friend in the Red Lobster? – Evyl
July 24, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I vote for Earl.
Coz I can.
Duly noted but could you answer a simple question? What’s with your avatar? It is kinda freaky in a sweet farm animal way. – Evyl
July 24, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Well, I actually am a freak. I’ve been told hundreds of times that I am a freak. I hear it all the time. “Ma, you’re such a freak.” When your kids think you’re a freak, you probably are but at least they love me. My kids actually like to hang out with me . I think it’s my freakishness that intrigues them. I have too many freakish qualities to even list. If you took the time and read all 147 of my posts you would probably agree with them. Though you would be the freak if you did that. 🙂
And I am just freaky enough to do it. – Evyl
July 24, 2008 at 10:35 pm
I have no idea what this is all about, but since Earl is volunteering himself, he gets my vote.
Duly noted but I know that you could give a great reason or three that you would be deserving of such a prestigous award. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 6:48 am
Well, I am a freak of nature…
I’m a cute little blonde with D cup breasts. I carry a .38 (and can shoot it well). I could kick your ass in Halo – or any other video game. I like beer, including my faves Blue Moon and Newcastle. I encouraged my boyfriend to be a cop and follow his dreams, and I don’t nag him about having no money – because I make money. I don’t even have any debt. In fact, I’m not only cute, blonde, and kick-ass, I’m smart too. I graduated from college with honors, and I’m now working on my Master’s. Definite freak.
So there 😉
I’d let a cute little blonde with D cups kick my ass in anything that she wanted. The panel of judges will absolutely love your response. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 6:54 am
i’m an artist… need i say more?
You can say anything that you wish. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 7:29 am
So it is asked of me why I should be the freak of the week
And so my reply to the question why is not for the meek
If you didn’t know it I am a poet though this in its self is not strange
Things I have written have well been smitten with that of the deranged
Yes, I’ve written about sex but one would expect that from any ‘ol perv
But how about a creep having sex with sheep
Oh, I have the nerve
So I shall continue in the venue and list my qualifications
I’ve written about shit
I mean literally “shit” in various scatifications
Shit that is funny
Shit that is runny, the kind that slides down your leg
Shit made of air, shit in my hair
Shit in the shape of an egg
I have written about my trouser trout and the odd paces it has been
Holes in trees and hives of bees and places so slimy and green
I have written of the anal love I received from alien beings
How I wish I were dreaming of the sasquatch reaming in a deep forest rape scene
I’ve written odes to snot and various rot that shows up in places not good
About poodles shaved and the things depraved I have done with various food
Of where I have cum and what I wiped it on, oh the places I masturbate
Of showers of gold and armpit mold and watching horses ejaculate
So yes I am strange and quite deranged and professional help I should seek
But in the mean time be ever so kind and elect me as freak of the week
Thank you
Dude, you certainly pulled out all the stops and I don’t think that you need professional help. I don’t think that it would do a damned bit of good. Great entry. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 7:42 am
Um, I change my vote to Ozymandiaz. **gulp** 😯
Great entry huh? But I am still waiting for your real entry. Let ‘er rip. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 7:46 am
ozymandiaz– WOW! that is freaky..
Im gonna go MJ’s route-
Im 5″0 w/ a c cup, weight under 100lbs. i have a black belt in 2 different kinds of martial arts, im dating a cop for 5 years (that alone makes me freaky) my sexual proclivities wander on the freakish side- but my family is SUPER religious orthodox jews.. i kick ass in Metal Gear Solid, i set up a Mean Hooka, graduated undergrad with honors, am a personal trainer,aerobics teacher and in grad school to become a real teacher (god help my children) i drink beer, am not afraid to fart in public, and if guns were not allowed, can seriously challenge my bf in a fist fight.
(did i mention i am 5 feet tall)
Im little- but my power is big 🙂
I am having a little trouble with the clamoring of the panel of judges after yours and MJ’s entries. I might have to hose them down. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 7:48 am
My vote goes to Ozzy!
*reads through poem again*
Yep, MOST DEFINITELY! 😆
Ozy did great but surely there is a reason to make you the freak of the week. Go ahead and tell us. We’re all among freaks and friends here. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 8:31 am
Hi Evyl,
Voice In My Head #4 is still on strike so all I can offer is that, if I win, I’ll do the post on famous people flying with rockets stuck up their butts.
the Grit
Dude that would be a cool ass post. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 8:59 am
I should say you should give it to Ozymandiaz as well, but MJ started off her argument with D cup breasts.
That always wins in my book. Go MJ!
It would be damn hard for me to vote against either Ozy’s entry or D cup breasts. I am glad that the panel does the voting. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 10:14 am
I got nuthin’ My gut tells me Ozy is your man though.
Annie
Surely you got somethin’. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 10:17 am
I can’t compete with Ozy, and really who could? But I can vote for him!
Your vote has been noted but really I would think that you could compete nicely if you desired. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 11:32 am
the competition is toooo rich for my blood – i love my freaky Ozy, every last freakish bit of him.. especially his freakishly gorgeous ass. Ozy as Freak of the Week!
He let it rip but come on now. I know that it is a far cry from too rich for your blood. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 11:49 am
I was freak of the week once a long time ago.
But I deserve it again because I laugh out loud when kids fall down and cry. I tell people not to ride horses because Christopher Reeve can’t walk anymore. I think abortion clinics are cool. I own a laserdisc player and about 50 some-odd movies. I think the Atari Jaguar was the pinnacle video game system. I once punched a kid in the temple as hard as I could simply because he annoyed me by asking for a bite of my Milky Way.
That’s why I deserve it.
I hate motherfuckers that try to snatch my candy bar. Fucker deserved it. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 6:21 pm
ozy really wants to win this hey?? outstanding effort! just outstanding! not even going to try and compete with that…
i’m so freaky is defies decsription anyway!
😆
It is a great entry. I bet A-Pop could describe your freakishness. 😉 – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Take a look at my blog and you be the judge 😉
Is being disturbed like being a freak?
I visited your blog. It is quite an adventure. Thanks so much and yes being disturbed and being a freak is quite similar. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 9:27 pm
LMAO!! I’m not convinced anybody would want to go THERE!!!
😆
Other than you cos you’re kinky like that of course! Yes, a huge compliment by the way!!
😉
You know me well. – Evyl
July 25, 2008 at 11:55 pm
Because I live with a man that has “Big Unit” painted on the door of his pick up truck…
Cool. – Evyl
July 26, 2008 at 1:13 am
I know a few stories about Ozymandiaz and there is no one I can compete with his freakishness. I am going to explain why by telling a story of his drama filled life in poem form.
Once upon a time when Ozzie was a preteen,
He would walk around the block wearing tight blue jeans,
then one day while buying used panties from the vending machine
he was ass raped by a mexican gang called MS Thirteen.
With his asshole all bloody it really changed his life,
the next thing I know he was a gangster’s wife.
To make the matter stranger, although the it brought some joy,
he was soon a mother to a bouncing baby boy!
Well I hope that helps his case because it is fucking late, I am tired, and frankly I don’t give a damn. Thanks for being a good sport Ozy.
Great vote, Dan. – Evyl
July 26, 2008 at 2:05 am
:::raises hand:::
I’d like to change my vote to Ozy.
It was a great entry. – Evyl
July 26, 2008 at 6:37 am
Damn Dan, Ithought everyone had forgoten that story. I still have those panties.
Oh, and it turnes out it wasn’t a boy, just a REALLY big poop. It was shaped like a boy though. Even weighted nine pounds. Took a few years to figure it all out. Apperantly the game rape compacted the fecal matter and the dents looked kinda like a face.
Go figure.
That reminds me to wash my boxers. – Evyl
July 26, 2008 at 8:33 am
I don’t think I’m freak material….
I don’t have D cup breasts, I don’t carry a gun (although I do know how to shoot one)… I don’t kick ass (more of a lover than a fighter)…
I do however, make a mean lasagne… and I will serve it up to you wearing nothing but a smile and holding a cold beer in the other hand. 🙂
Not sure that makes me a freak though….
It certainly makes you the hostess with the mostest. – Evyl
July 26, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Because you’ve seen my tits.
Now that is making me hot. – Evyl
July 26, 2008 at 9:32 pm
I was going to try something until I saw Oz.
My junk went limp.
Hand it over to the Ozzy.
He’s a sick fuck, and I love him for that
~m
It is just another of his many talents. – Evyl
July 26, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Okay, here’s mine. It’s not much but it’s hard to compete with Oz and MJ who sounds like someone from Legally Blonde. I hope the panel is not all male. LOL.
I’m 4 foot 9 and three quarter inches tall.
I’ve got a C cup (yeah, just one) but that’s not all.
It’s filled with piss and vinegar and, I’ll toss it on your cut.
I’ve got cheeks on my face that are more fit for a butt.
The kids shoe section is where I find my size,
But don’t you ever underestimate me.
I won’t think twice to take you out at the knee
and then gouge out your eyes.
Nice, real nice. – Evyl
July 27, 2008 at 6:01 pm
I used to think Sammy Terry on nightmare Theatre was freaky, but I was wrong. You are the sickest freak I know and you live in my computer.
I am old, my D’s have to be rolled up to get em in my bra, and I like to play the Spongebob game crabby patty.
I vote for Ozzy, he scares me
I miss fuzzbox and his crazy tastee ways
loveya Evyl One
Fuzz has gone into hiding. I believe he has slipped into a barbecue and beer induced coma with little hope of full recovery. Although you can be assured that a little piece of him will always live in me. – Evyl
July 28, 2008 at 5:24 am
A barbecue and beer induced coma? Where does I get me one of those?
Deep in the heart of Texas. – Evyl
July 28, 2008 at 7:33 am
Barbeques and beer induced comas are a requirement here in Texas.. aren’t they?
Hells, yeah!!! – Evyl