Evyl 101: Gay Marraige

During a gay male wedding, how do they decide who in the fuck throws the bouquet? Unless one of them is wearing a dress it must be a tough decision. Flipping for it is so boring, I would suggest a speed masturbation contest. The first one to spew cum gets to chunk the mum.

18 Responses to “Evyl 101: Gay Marraige”

  1. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    i always figured the more effeminate of the two would get to throw the bouquet, but if they are both equally butch (or bitch), I’d say have them BOTH throw bouquets.

    That would be fair. – Evyl

  2. I say whose day it was to be the “bitch” then it will be their day to throw the bouquet… winner takes it all or at least some where….

    ‘Winner Takes It All?’ Now that’s funny. – Evyl

  3. Forget the bouquets – they should throw pots of gold. You know, the ones at the end of their little rainbows. 😉

    Aww, that’s sweet. – Evyl

  4. mistermanly Says:

    Hi Evyl,

    If I understand things correctly, they arm wrestle for the honor, and the looser tosses the flowers.

    Mister Manly

    That would indeed be the manly way to do it. – Evyl

  5. A quick anal probe by an attending physician should lay to rest any doubt as to who should throw the flowers.
    I actually played a gay wedding a while back and will tell you that I knew undoubtedly who was the more effeminate.
    The “groom” could have kicked the ass of anyone attending.
    From what I recall nothing was tossed (except for a few cookies, in my mind anyway)

    No salad? – Evyl

  6. Ernie would throw it.

    That’s what I figger. – Evyl

  7. I’ve always thought that the bouquet throwing would resemble the champagne ritual that happens on the podium at the Grand Prix. Both parties would stand on a podium and jack off wildly all over the guests.

  8. isn’t that how all “who goes first” type decisions are made by males?

    *runs, ducks hides*

    Don’t duck. That would be a waste. 😉 – Evyl

  9. I think it’s covered from the start, from what I’ve read of Tucker Max’ work, (and obviously I believe everything Tucker Max says) there are “layers” and those who get laid, i assume by the time they get married they’ve established the “layer” and the layer kisses the would be “bride” which is subsequently followed by the “one who is laid” throwing the boquet…

    Of course this is all hear say and guess work, I’m scared of gays, incase they want to have sex with me, so I’ve never actually talked to one.

    I know what you mean. – Evyl

  10. are you Gay Evyl??????? 😉

    Nope, how ’bout yourself. – Evyl

  11. LOL my very good and newly married gay friend just said they throw buttplugs at the guys’ weddings and dildos for the girls…or both. Lucky bastards and bitches. 😛

    Now that is just wrong. Funny but wrong. – Evyl

  12. *snickers*
    Can I watch?

    I bet cha could. – Evyl

  13. So if the bridesmaids are all gay males, then I’m guessing we won’t be getting any priceless moments in photography as they fall out of their strapless dresses in an effort to be the first to catch the bouquet?????? Damn, that’s always the best part of the wedding video…….

    Truth. – Evyl

  14. No sweetie, I think it is decided by who does the most cooking in the relationship. 🙂

    Awwww, you called me sweetie. – Evyl

  15. lifesstory Says:

    Don’t toss a bouquet. Toss some cookies.

    Better than tossing some salad. – Evyl

  16. I’m gonna have my woman throw a chainsaw, cleverly disgused as a boquet at our wedding. Just to fuck shit up for the lulz.

    Outstanding. – Evyl

  17. I’m drunk, please forgive my spelling and grammar.

    Duly noted and forgiven. – Evyl

  18. omg that just seriously made me LOL my ass off!

    Glad ya liked it. – Evyl

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