Wrong Turn In Albuquerque
I read this story about a Brooklyn man that is suing American Airlines for losing his wife. It seems that it took them four days to return Miguel Olaya’s wife to him for burial in Ecuador. He contends that the body of his dear deceased Teresa was so decomposed that he could not bury her in a traditional open casket funeral.
Although I feel for the poor guy, I can’t help imagining her casket going round and round on the luggage carousel in some out of the way airport in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere with destination stickers and tags all over it.
Sorry, dude.
From Evyl With Love 
September 9, 2008 at 8:02 pm
…with all those passengers lined up saying “Nah, that’s not my coffin…nope,mines a teak finish….no, not ours……oh, maybe? Awww no, our’s had brass handles….ohhhh see? I told you the mahogany finish would have looked nice on Grandma’s coffin, Bert, just like that one there.”
LMFAO!!! This has to rate as one of the all time great comments. – Evyl
September 9, 2008 at 8:46 pm
I always tie a NY Yankees bandana around my coffin handle when I travel. Makes it much easier to locate.
Not worried about anyone desicrating the coffin? – Evyl
September 9, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Jayne 😆
Poor guy.. but, I can’t help but giggle a little… thanks Evyl see what you are doing to me?!! 😉
Sorry ’bout that. – Evyl
September 9, 2008 at 9:20 pm
the poor dude!
lmao @ Jayne!
Great comment huh? – Evyl
September 9, 2008 at 10:56 pm
see, this is why you shouldn’t fly with the dead. Also, if she would’ve turned out out to be a zombie, she would’ve contaminated a bunch of baggage handlers, and then you’d get a whole airport staffed by zombies, and it could only go downhill from there.
the best thing to do when transporting the dead is go by car. that way, the decedent is never out of your sight, and there are plenty of roadside motels if you want a little quality time to… er… say goodbye privately before the funeral.
I’d go the cheap route. I’d have her cremated and then pack her in a carry-on. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 12:57 am
LOL Jayne is too funny.
So they actually put people in coffins on aeroplanes? fuck that. it’d so totally creep me out.
The really cheap airlines use them as bench seats. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 1:26 am
i hate dead people… anything to do with death REALLY freaks me out…
if that casket rolled past me on the carousel i would have
a) peed in my panties
b) thrown garlic at it (in a perfect world i would be carrying garlic in my handbag LOL)
c) run like hell screaming like a little girl
LOL @ Jayne 🙂
I’d like a video of c. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 6:42 am
Reminds me of a Hindu funeral I attended once. Guy died in France, they shipped him back and then laid him in the living room floor for a week waiting for his spirit to settle. I shit you not.
I hope he settled before the flies set in too bad. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 7:45 am
do you think the other passengers smelled something funny?
sarah
Probably. But they might have thought it was bad pretzels. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 8:20 am
Talk about adding insult to injury…
Truth. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 11:15 am
thats terrible.. i feel bad for the guy. but LOl at the comments, your blog community is on a roll!
It’s a good day. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 11:38 am
Does he get to collect the flyer miles on this?
The Trailer Of Love
Maybe that is what he will get as a settlement. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 11:44 am
Hi Evyl,
The real problem here is that Mr. Olaya was, apparently, to cheap to pay for embalming. If he had shelled out the appropriate amount of cash for even a modest level of treatment, his wife’s corpse would have maintained an unblemished state for several years. Of course, if his late wife left even modestly attractive remains, who knows what abuse they would have suffered on her journey at the hands, and other appendages, of perverted air line employees? Still, being dead, it’s difficult to see why she would have minded.
Mister Manly
I’d have gone for the cremation. Ashes would be cheaper to haul. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 12:28 pm
See…that’s the problem in alot of marriages…he wanted to go to Ecuador and she didn’t! I bet that is the best vacation she ever had…without him 🙂
It was probably the most relaxing. – Evyl
September 10, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Shouldn’t he have known this before shipping her back by air? It’s like a Weekend At Bernie’s at the airlines. That’s all the more why I want to be cremated.
Airplane V: Stiffs on a Plane. – Evyl
September 11, 2008 at 7:28 pm
even-cheaper option: go for cremation, wait until you have some other stuff to mail to the final resting place anyway, use ashes as packing material.
Now that is a stroke of sheer genius much like your post about pornosexual. That was one of the most intelligent posts that I have read in fucking ages. – Evyl
September 12, 2008 at 12:28 am
You ain’t been in the luggage line at Hartsfield, Jackson, Acme Roof and Shingle airport (or ATL as we love to call it) if you wonder about shit going round and round……………
Never been there. Remind me not to visit. – Evyl
September 13, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Kinda makes you wonder what sort of karma that was.
It really does. – Evyl