Fuckin’ Up A Meme: 4’s

The lovely and talented MJ has tagged me with the 4’s meme. It’s been awhile since I fucked up a meme, so here it goes.

4 Things I Did Today

  • During a disciplinary hearing, I handed an inmate a Kleenex because he was crying like a baby over being in the hole, to prove I had a heart. Then I sentenced him to the maximum time allowed for the offence in the hole to prove that I don’t have a heart.
  • Woke up before the alarm clock rang. Damn I hate it when that happens.
  • Put an inmate on the wall and strongly ‘advised’ him in the proper procedure for pulling his fucking head out of his damned ass.
  • Chewed Nicorette Gum until my jaws hurt.

4 Things On My To Do List

  • Tear out the radio in my wife’s car and stop all form of news from reaching her ear. KC and the Sunshine Band are coming to a nearby city and I know she will give me unmitigated hell if I don’t take her. Disco fucking sucked back then and now I would imagine that if these fuckers shake, shake, shake their fucking booty then they will break, break, break a fucking hip.
  • Hire a midget stripper for my brothers bachelor party.
  • Continue training for a spot in a professional Spider Solitaire Tournament.
  • Supplant He-Man as the Master of the Universe.

4 of My Guiltiest Pleasures

  • Getting shit faced and listening to REO Speedwagon while yelling PUSSY to the speakers.
  • Barbacoa. Damn do I love that shit. Nothing like a good chunk of cow head to start the day off right.
  • Two Words: Free Porn!!!
  • Shiner Bock. It is truly the nectar of the gods.

4 Random Facts About Me

  • I am a grandfather and my granddaughter calls me Pops. My wife is dying for another grandchild because our granddaughter ignores everyone but me when I am around.
  • Most people are scared of me until they get to know me and then to know me is to love me. Don’t believe it, just ask me.  
  • I am a hellicious cook. From barbecue to baking and all kinds of dishes in between, I kick some ass. Except gravy, I can’t cook gravy to save my fucking life.
  • Here is the only picture that I will allow of myself to be posted on the internet. I posted it on another blog back in ’06 and will never allow another to be posted. I haven’t changed a whole lot except for completely shaving my noggin and my goatee.

30 Responses to “Fuckin’ Up A Meme: 4’s”

  1. Good to get to know a little more about the Evyl! I do a little time in the clink too. But I get to walk out whenever I want 🙂

    The ability to walk out is the best feeling ever. – Evyl

  2. You match the voice. 🙂

    Can’t you hire a Mexican or something to take your wife to see *shudder* the geriatric disco dudes?

    REO Speedwagon!!!! The collection of donut makers who are responsible for that fucking annoying song with those whiny assed bleating lyrics “take it on the run, baby…etc” I was about 4 and scored myself a slap ’round the head for changing the words to “You take it up the bum, baby”

    I was a precocious child.

    I like the lyric. – Evyl

  3. Still laughing my ass off over the Kleenex debacle.
    Someday I will test your prowess around the grill.
    I’ve no doubt you will kick my ass.
    Shiner Bock as nectar?
    Okay, it’s close.
    Scared of you?
    Dude, you’re a fucking huggy bear.
    Kleenex . . . 😆
    ~m

    I felt like pulling a Patton and slapping him. – Evyl

  4. I don’t think I was ever scared of you. I definitely love you and I make the best homemade gravy ever. I could give you lessons.

    Many people have tried to instill the ability to make a good country gravy but none have been able to teach me the intricacies of the craft. But I am always up for some good biscuits and gravy. – Evyl

  5. I love that Spider Solitaire shit!

    And that’s pretty much how I pictured you.

    Spider Solitaire is not just an addiction it is an obsession. – Evyl

  6. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    I don’t blame your granddaughter – you strike me as a really kick-ass grampa. Terrifying father, but kick-ass grandfather.

    also, stealing this! not sure when I’ll finish it.

    It is an interesting meme. Have fun with it. – Evyl

  7. now evyl just dong shave whats in that noggin 😉

    Thanks lil’ darlin’. – Evyl

  8. ummm, that was dont 🙂

    Gotcha. – Evyl

  9. awww!!

    Hi Evyl. I’m so happy I came to visit on this post. I’ve sometimes when reading you on my friends blog wondered about you. Your like a little teddy bear arn’t you. I could just put you in my pocket and get you out to play ring a ring of roeses with me. Hehe!!

    Nice pic, great meme.
    Smiles
    Di

    You can play with me anytime darlin’. – Evyl

  10. There’s my huggy bear! I haven’t seen that pic for ages…you really are just that you know…a huggy bear…you’re not nearly as evyl as you make out darlin’…took me a while to work that out, cos as you know i was one of those that you scared the bejesus out of for months…be you evyl or not, you are unique and someone i’m damned proud to call a friend…besides, you don’t shit from anyone and i like that
    😉

    Thanks darlin’, I appreciate it. – Evyl

  11. You’re quite a handsome mother fucker, aren’t you? Mmmm Hmmm… and strong too- “strong like bull”. I like the way you describe setn’ them law breakers straight. I am glad you filled out this questionnaire because it shows a side of you that I knew had to be there. I really laughted at the fact that you get drunk, and while listening to REO you yell – LOL!

    Flattery will get you everywhere. And as far as the REO thing, It’s very relaxing. You should try it sometime. – Evyl

  12. Derrr, “laughted” new word, it’s true- check it out if ya don’t believe me! Ok, don’t… don’t check…. just believe me on that.

    I’ll believe it this time. – Evyl

  13. Hey, we have more in common than I thought. I’m bald, a grandpa and like to “help” people. In fact I have one this morning I’m going to set straight. Some whiny SOB. Keeps wanting to know why I won’t unblock their favorite vlog site. I’m a bad IT Security guy. Such pettiness.

    I have complete respect for IT guys. Or at least I will post that for brownie points. – Evyl

  14. another spider solitaire junkie…. i am quite addicted myself 🙂

    i have to agree with javaqueen, you are one handsome mf indeed!

    Thanks darlin’. – Evyl

  15. you are one hellofa sick sombitch
    they broke the mold with you
    and I mean that in a good way
    spider solitaire is the shit

    It’s a good thing that they broke the mold. Just ask my wife. – Evyl

  16. The REO thing made me howl with laughter – too funny and kinda true 😉

    They nearly make Air Supply seem manly. – Evyl

  17. My coffee nearly came out of my nose when I got to the REO Speedwagon part! 😆

    I have never been scared of you…..

    Glad ya liked it and ahhh you’re so sweet. – Evyl

  18. Love the photo. You look like an actor but I can’t remember his name. I’ll come back when I do. I love a shaved head. Though I do like the goatee. You don’t look old enough to be a Grandpa. Loved the answers to your meme. I can’t wait to have a grandchild.

    As long as it’s not Jack Palence, I’ll be okay with it. – Evyl

  19. Great answers! I especially like your answers regarding corrections, lol. I’m glad that somewhere out there there is someone making life hell for the scumbags my cop arrests 😀

    Just doin’ my part. – Evyl

  20. I thought you already Were the Master of the Universe???

    And why is that the only pic of yourself you will ever post? What!? No nudes? No semi-nudes? I’ve already seen the pic you posted…I need variety for my collection 😉

    Thanks for sharing your meme answers. They were nice to read.

    I’m waiting until my site gets big enough to be a paid site and then charge people to see those pics. – Evyl

  21. “Getting shit faced and listening to REO Speedwagon while yelling PUSSY to the speakers. ”

    Oh, Fuck, that made my day !

    Glad you liked it. It’s a lot of fun. – Evyl

  22. dude
    admit it
    you LUB the sunshine banb

    Shhhh, don’t let that shit get out. – Evyl

  23. Hahaha. JavaQueen just about covered it all.

    Mmmm…shaved noggin? Yum. But…shaved goatee….Noooooo…say it isn’t so. Facial hair is my FAVORITE. It’s true.

    And an armband tat. Wow, you the man.

    I had to shave the goat for the job. I know it sucks. I still have the pornstache though. The armband hurt like a bitch. I have a few tats but the underside of the arm is a painful sumbitch. But it is a required body modification around here. – Evyl

  24. Hey Buddy,
    I’m in hysterics imagining you at a KC and the Sunshine Band concert. The image is priceless. And yep, you’re as cute as I thought you were. Not scary at all. To know you is to love you.

    Annie

    Ahhh, you say the sweetest things. – Evyl

  25. LOL – I’d go with your wife to see KC and the Sunshine Band! That’s my kind of dance music! 🙂 You are a good looking guy. But just out of curiosity, why is that the only photo you’ll post? It’s because you are afraid all us gals will stalk you, isn’t it? 😉

    You got it. – Evyl

  26. **Wipes drool from chin**

    You are feckin’ hot. You look a widdle like my hubby, but he is a widdle more hirstute than thee. And he is the hottest.

    Now, if you would do me the courtesy of sending that sound bite of you to me and my fantasy will be complete.

    How could I refuse such a request? Look for one soon. – Evyl

  27. I am waiting with abaited breath oh he who has put the Southern Hemisphere into an hormonal frenzy.

    Spank me !!!

    And her and her and her and her ….. >>>>>>> You are a God.

    Ahhh, you’re so sweet. – Evyl

  28. Believe it or not you look like a non-scrawny version of my brother-in-law. However, YOU are much more lovable… you scary SOB.

    Ahhh, you’re so sweet. – Evyl

  29. You say gravy and all I can think of is baby gravy.
    Nice pic. I’ve always liked that picture. Hotness, my friend.

    You say the sweetest things. – Evyl

  30. yep… Red got to the gravy thing before me. I should have known. And I do love that pic…just can we photoshop the guns and the handcuffs so I get the whole image from my dreams? 8)

    Photoshop away darlin’. – Evyl

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