Thinking Thinner

It seems the problem of food theft among the inmate trustee population is a constant problem. I have thought of a solution. Before an inmate is given a trustee job, the inmate is sent to medical in order to be weighed. At the end of the week, the trustee is weighed again. If the inmate gains five pounds they are automatically charged with the infraction of theft and given 15 days in the hole to lose the weight. I wonder if I can get the solution to fly.

11 Responses to “Thinking Thinner”

  1. You might have a bunch of women committing crime so they can lose weight. I dunno.

    A weight loss spa converted from a old prison would work. I can’t beleive it hasn’t been tried. – Evyl

  2. I say pitch it who knows might catch on.

    I see Tech is finally playing someone!

    Like K-State is somebody. Give me a fucking break. K-State is going to get dropped like a bad habit. Got my guns up!!! – Evyl

  3. Yella Ojrak Says:

    To prevent food theft, don’t provide food. Just give them a cup of tea for breakfast, and salted water for dinner. For lunch, arrange a competition, the winner gets a steak and a glass of orange juice. That would save a lot of money.

    I think that trays around here probably cost them about a quarter apiece. It’s heavy on the beans, rice, bologna, oatmeal, and grits groups. – Evyl

  4. Ooh, yella ojrak has a great idea there. I love the dinner menu suggestion *laughing* –

    Mmm, serve me up a bowl of that yummy salt water. LOL!

    You are a problem solver mah friend!

    I do try. – Evyl

  5. The sneaky bastards will work out how to give themselves enemas. Or they will offer the love hatch to someone they know will make them shit themselves silly. Fun and sneakiness… or… killing two ‘turds’ with one bone?

    True. – Evyl

  6. QueenBitch Says:

    why dont you have a batch of laxitive food or hash food then you’ll no when the person eats it. or if its fizzy drink in a can you could shake the crap out of it so when the person does open it everyone will know.

    One more lost hot pocket and someone is fucked. – Evyl

  7. that or cut off five pounds of flesh

    Works for me. – Evyl

  8. Funny you should mention food today….I’ve noticed that it doesn’t matter what time of day I’m walkin into a clink the guards are always eating prison supplied food…And I’m not talkin a sammich and a bag of chips….I’m talkin a tray with no less than 7 different foods on it…I’m half tempted to get a permanent prison job just to get a decent meal while I work! Our state seems to be heavy on the tomato rice food group…one day I smelt sausage and I had to do double take on where I was…

    I am lucky enough now to get a lunch break where I can go out and eat. But I have ate way to many prison beans. I think that I have a case of heartburn that has lasted from some beans that I ate in December of 2006. – Evyl

  9. Sounds about right to me.

    The Trailer Of Love

    Cool. – Evyl

  10. Yella Ojrak Says:

    In Indonesian prison, you get only:

    Rice
    Boiled vegetables
    Salted water
    (and if it’s your lucky day) you get a fried salted fish.

    What you had for breakfast, you’d have again for dinner.

    I see nothing wrong with that. – Evyl

  11. Anyone caught stealing food gets to eat a sandwich that everyone else got to spit on first. Ummmm, you’d probably have to re-word it a little in the books to make it fly, but whatever.

    Spit is good but a key word is expectorate. It is one of those words that is official sounding and sounds even nastier than it is. – Evyl

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