Marcia Brady Was A Crack Ho

I read that Maureen McCormick has penned a memoir. In it she details various relationships and also has quite a bit to write about her addictions. Supposedly she also details an incident where she traded sexual favors for drugs. Marcia Brady was a Crack Ho. While this has taken many people by surprise, I was not in the least shocked. There were various episodes that clearly pinpointed the fact that Marcia Brady was a Crack Ho.

  • The episode where Marcia has a prom date with Davy Jones: Everyone knows that Davy Jones was one smooth pimpin’ motherfucker.
  • The episode where Marcia breaks her nose: Sure they said it was a football that broke her nose but by the marks you can tell that it was a vicious pimp slap.
  • The episode where Cindy loses her doll: I don’t care what they want us to believe, Marcia hocked the doll for crack.
  • The episode where the Brady kids enter a talent contest to win money for an anniversary present: If you look carefully you can tell that a porno was being shot in the dressing room. Why else would Ron Jeremy make a cameo?
  • The episode where Bobby and Cindy tried to break the Worlds Record for Teeter Totter: They broke into Marcia’s stash. Why the fuck else would they do that?

I am sure that their were other signs as well. But one fact remains. Marcia Brady was a Crack Ho!!!

17 Responses to “Marcia Brady Was A Crack Ho”

  1. Evyl, you funny fucker. You know your Brady Bunch so well. Now don’t you wish you had yourself a stash of Nose Candy when you were a youngen? You could have found yourself screaming “MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA”

    I did scream ‘Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!!’. It was while I was in the bathroom, ‘Combing my hair.’ – Evyl

  2. You don’t have to convince me. I’m thinking as happy as they all were that every single one of them was high on something.

    I’m with ya on that one. – Evyl

  3. Do you remember that episode where the boys and the girls fought over the backyard clubhouse? That was clearly orchestrated by Marcia in an effort to hold onto her crack den/whorin’ shack.

    That is an excellent observation. – Evyl

  4. That’s old news! 😉 lol

    But it is back in the news. – Evyl

  5. And I’m convinced that Peter is a fag! But I can’t prove it yet…

    It’s the whole voice change thing, huh. – Evyl

  6. A very convincing argument. I wonder what insights you might be willing to offer into the Little House on the Prarie.

    The Nellie Olsen charector was a forerunning proponent of radical lesbian feminism. There are numerous examples of which I will save for a later date. Thanks for dropping by. – Evyl

  7. Hmmm…. interesting.

    Thanks. – Evyl

  8. The Hedgehog was on the Brady Bunch ? Fuck, I missed that episode.

    I wonder if Robert Reed offered to suck his cock ?

    Ya know it. – Evyl

  9. Crack ho fo sho! That Davey Jones lives out by where my family is from. Still to this day gets busted for DUI’s. Go figure!

    Zactly. – Evyl

  10. Oh almost forgot…she wasn’t concerned with how her broken nose looked when pummeled with the football, she was worried she’d have to shoot up instead of snort & that Carol or Mike would see the damn tracks.

    That would be problematic. – Evyl

  11. hahaha!! i love this. :]
    <33 mermaid

    Glad that you liked it and thanks for stopping by. – Evyl

  12. I’d love to have seen the nose party she had the night she and Greg had that driving competition and Greg busted the egg…or was that the petting competition where Greg busted the cherry?:P

    Both excellent episodes. – Evyl

  13. Only you, dude . . . only you.
    Pure F’n Evyl, P.I.
    You’d kick Selleck’s ass any day of the week.
    A crack ho?
    Jesus Krispies . . . fucking spot on, mate.
    ~m

    Thank you kindly sir. – Evyl

  14. Do you reckon Alice was doing lines with her too? I bet she was, that explains why they all looked a bit out of it, Alice was putting it in her cooking instead of MSG.

    Alice had to be sooo stoned. Sam the Butcher was a dealer. – Evyl

  15. QueenBitch Says:

    Personally I think crackwhore sounds better than crackhoe. crackhoe sounds like shes doin it wrong. otha than that im all for it 🙂 I think if they had emos back then Jane would have been one. Cindy would have gone on to be one of the valley dolls. and all the had an incestuous thing for whats her name. the mum or mom. whatever. is it incestuous though? noooooo she was the stepmum! What.. im only 22 how do i know all this crap??

    Florence Henderson was the original MILF. – Evyl

  16. lmao!!

    Glad ya liked it. – Evyl

  17. And really the way she always looked at her older ‘brother’ Greg always bothered me too. 🙂
    Annie

    Yep. – Evyl

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