Freak Of The Week Contest: Trick Or Freak

Yes my good freaks and friends, it is once again time to put the prestigious and heavily desired Freak of the Week title up for grabs. Since this weeks Freak will reign during Halloween, I thought that this week we should have a little Halloween theme. Your assignment should you choose to accept it is to answer a little question. Here goes:

A Werewolf, Barak Obama, Jenna Jamison, Little Miss Muffet, and me show up at your doorstep trick or treating on Halloween. What freaky treats do you give us?

Good luck, have fun, and may the most freakish freak win.

17 Responses to “Freak Of The Week Contest: Trick Or Freak”

  1. Let me think about this one, i’ll be back before the deadline

    Lookin’ forward to it. – Evyl

  2. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    in my neighborhood? for the werewolf, some hairspray, as he is going to end up in the tabloids. Obama gets Kevlar. Jenna Jameson gets sprayed with disinfectant.

    I invite Little Miss Muffet in to talk conspiracy theory since she was on the grassy knoll during the kennedy assassination, the freshly-Lysoled miss Jameson may of course join her so she’s not alone in the apartment of some paranoid nutcase on halloween, and Evyl is welcomed in as well to make sure the ladies are comfortable. All guests receive hard liquor as a treat.

    Jenna and hard likker go hand in hand. – Evyl

  3. 1. Werewolf- Gets the friggin’ yappy dogs from next store that never stop the high pitched barking.

    2. Barak Obama-gets some free babysitting while I watch his and Michelle’s kids so they can get some time to um, have a bit of the maritals and decompress from all the campaigning. Then he can start fresh in the morning.

    3. Jenna Jamison-and I can have a girl sleepover. Paint each other’s toenails, share pregnancy secrets, have a pillow fight

    4. Little Miss Muffet- is given a rubber mallet as I am sure she will need it very soon.

    5. Evyl recieves a meal of my special Rueben sandwhiches and two side dishes of his choice. (If he plays his cards right, this may include Jenna or me 😉

    All can choose between Hennessy or boxed wine for their beverage. Not Miss Muffet though, her being underage and all.

    Mrs. Hall

    For sides, I’m partial to potato salad. Thanks for stopping in and competing. I appreciate it and great entry. – Evyl

  4. The Werewolf gets to bite Barak Obama (serves him right for all that shonky dancing with Ellen) then gets to hook up with Little Miss Muffet in the basement to star in the latest porn flick “Big Bad Wolf eats Muff” while Evyl gets to watch while enjoying Jenna’s titties as she serves him his beers.

    Meantime I leave my guests to their good time and go back to playing mild mannered housewife and giving artificial colour free chuppa chups to all the kiddies that come to the door and pretend that the bleeding and screamin Barak Obama on the front lawn is a very life like animatronic model made specially for the occasion.

    Now that’s the type of quality film that I could really get behind. (Or from behind.) – Evyl

  5. The Werewolf gets a raw sirloin to keep himself occupied.

    Obama gets a cap in his ass in my neighborhood.

    Little Miss Muffet gets curds and whey, of course.

    Pure Evyl and Jenna Jameson are invited inside for beer with Heff and Donna. Draw your own conclusion.

    That rocks. – Evyl

  6. You can never go wrong with gummi penises, Evyl. I’ll get you the strawberry flavored ones, k?

    Sorry, I’m allergic. – Evyl

  7. i just wanna read them. keep em coming.

    Great entries, huh? – Evyl

  8. AHHH! mj- gummy penises- i know what im fedexing you for your bridal shower!

  9. I would naturally assume that it was five kids dressed up for Halloween as a werewolf, Obama, Jenna, Little Miss Muffett and you. So I would give them what I give every other kid who just happens to show up at my door.

    A roofie, some coloring books and a long weekend they will never forget.

    Dude. – Evyl

  10. The werewolf can have Obama, so that’s one less I need to worry about for starters.
    Jenna Jamison and Little Miss Muffet can eat each other for your viewing pleasure while you’re having a cold beer….problem solved!
    😉

    That is awesome. – Evyl

  11. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    my prediction is that things will go thusly: Muffet will eventually realize that there is no candy at the end of my conspiracy-theory-rambling and leave, at which point you and jenna are keeping each other happily entertained. with muffet gone, I set up the camera, make popcorn, and put Texas Chainsaw Massacre on in the background (it’s an American Psycho reference of sorts, but please humor me, as i am offering free booze and porn stars).

    Nothing quite like a night with popcorn and TCM. – Evyl

  12. Hi Evyl,

    Werewolf – flea & tick drops (my wife’s a veterinarian and we get it free)

    Obama – I thought he was going to give us stuff?

    Jenna – My wife’s phone number and a request that she talk up the fun aspects of threesomes.

    LMM – A box of condoms as there are far too many pedophiles around here.

    Evyl – A six pack of my home brew and an invite to Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, and a sprig of wolves bane from my herb garden in case the werewolf gets hungry.

    the Grit

    Damn, some home brew would really hit the spot. – Evyl

  13. Wolfy and you can step in and have a little cowgal…and the others can just grab a handful of treats left on the front porch.

    Oooh Baby!!! – Evyl

  14. It was Halloween night and I got such a fright
    When I opened the door and saw this!
    Miss Muffet was sucking the tits Evyl was f*cking
    And the Werewolf was taking a piss!

    I stood and I stared at the flesh that was bared.
    As the hairy guy zipped up his fly.
    Evyl gripped those tits tighter when along came a spider
    And Jenna just started to cry!

    Little Miss Muffet told Jenna to “Stuff it!”
    Barack said “That’s terribly crass!”.
    Old Wolfie was drooling watching Evyl start fooling
    Around with Miss Jamison’s ass.

    I pulled them inside and their eyes opened wide
    As they saw all the marvelous toys!
    I said you all get to choose. Take whatever you’ll use.”
    Jenna batted her eyes at the boys.

    She said ‘I’ll take the whip” and she patted the tip
    Of that leather-wrapped wielder of pain.
    Obama said “Please!” as he dropped to his knees
    “I really do enjoy the pain!”

    They all picked some goodies while the men flouted woodies.
    The werewolf just howled at the moon.
    And I asked Evyl then “Do ya think I can win?”
    And he said, “Well, you’ll know pretty soon!?

    I don’t know what the judges will say but you have won my heart. – Evyl

  15. Wild Applause for Trishatruly! That was awesome!

    Who can follow that? Hell, all I will give them is a a frigin Hershey Bar!
    ;^)

    Hershey Bars can be good. It’s according to the highway. – Evyl

  16. I bow to Trisha’s ditty 🙂

    I woulda given cum bubbles.

    This is strictly a no snowball zone. – Evyl

  17. Nice work Trisha….that is beautiful.

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