Thought Running Through My Mind: #9,724,641

I wouldn’t trust an alarm system from a company named ‘Faith Security Systems.’ How would you turn it on? Would you just pray that no one would break in and steal your shit?

15 Responses to “Thought Running Through My Mind: #9,724,641”

  1. Alarms only keep honest people out anyway the same as locks do…they want your shit there’s nothing gonna stop the fuckers! Praying they stay out would be just as effective only this time you pay for the privledge!

    I don’t worry about burglary too much in my neighborhood. My neighbors have nearly as big of an arsonal as I do. – Evyl

  2. If faith turns it on…it would be a huge waste of money for me!

    I know what you mean. – Evyl

  3. I have FAITH my German Killing Machines would rip the epiglottis out of any dumb fuck who came through my door uninvited.

    Ain’t puppies nice. – Evyl

  4. QueenBitch Says:

    You just gotta have a lil faith that no one wants your shit!

    Or will leave bleeding during the attempt to get at it. – Evyl

  5. If they want it… they can have it!!!!

    That’s more diplomatic than I can handle. – Evyl

  6. I have faith in the fact that while my 2 dogs are the biggest sooks, their barks alone will scare anybody. They wouldn’t do anything if someone broke in …except beg for a bikkie.

    A bark is sometimes all that is needed. – Evyl

  7. That name DOES leave a little to be desired. “Hail Mary Security” would’ve been a better name, but not by much.

    I like the name, ‘Dead Burgler Security Systems.’ – Evyl

  8. Hi Evyl,

    We have a septic system out here in the country, so if someone wants to steal my shit they’ll need a shovel and a pumper truck. Not that I’d mind, seeing as how we have to pay to have that done every 5 years or so. On the other hand, we do have a security system. It’s called Vicious Dogs That Will Eat Your Ass If You Step Onto My Property. It’s kind of expensive, but is very effective and has a much faster response time than the local police.

    Oh, and the system you mention is turned on by putting 10% of your income in the collection plate.

    the Grit

    The God of Abraham was the original Flat Taxer. – Evyl

  9. HAHAHA!

    I’m glad that you liked it. – Evyl

  10. I don’t think having the faith as small as a mustard seed is going to work in this case! lol…I agree, let the dogs handle it! 😉

    But those mustard seeds are stout for their size. But it’s better to call out the dogs. – Evyl

  11. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    Faith security systems don’t protect you from burglars. they protect you from door-to-door religion salespeople.

    dogs, mechanical traps, and an absence of anything worth stealing protect you from burglars.

    Security is a warm gun. – Evyl

  12. It’s just shit… let em have it.

    Shit or not. It’s my shit. – Evyl

  13. true lol

    Zactly. – Evyl

  14. This is why I have a dog. A discerning dog at that. He’s smart enough to let tradesmen in during the day, but won’t let anyone through the gate at night unless they are with me or the kids. He’s even bailed hubby up a few times when he’s come home late at night and forgotten his key.

    Bailing him up is better than balling him up. – Evyl

  15. hahaha, that is the epitomy of “short and sweet” for a post…lol 🙂

    Is that the way you like it? – Evyl

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