A Real Survivor


I have been a fan of the reality show, Survivor, since it’s first season. But lately it seems to me that the show is getting a little stale. Sure it still has it’s share of douchbags, hotties, nimrods, jerks, and even a nice guy or girl thrown in for variety but there is just so many times that we can see a beautiful tropical paradise without saying, ‘so fucking what.’ I have an idea for updating the series that would add a little zest and real reality to the show. Welcome to Survivor: TrailerBilly.

The contestants would be dropped off at a trailer park at the edge of an urban southern city and be forced to survive the obstacles of meth labs, crack whores, pit bulls, cheap liquor, spam, and shirtless crazy Uncle Jeb.

Contestants would compete in luxury challenges where they could win such comfort items as NASCAR blankets, barbecue grills, a ’77 Trans Am, a Trac Phone with a Dukes of Hazzard ringtone, and other awesome prizes.

Each week after an immunity challenge of such events as distilling corn liquor in an old radiator, the quickest to synthesis an eight ball of crystal meth, escaping a crack whore without paying, escaping crazy shirtless Uncle Jeb without being molested, or the first team to chug a case of PBR without puking, the losing team would go to trailer park counsel.

Jeff Probst would let them know that the bug zapper signifies life in the trailer park. Each team member would curse each other and then vote to evict one member. The evicted member would stand before Jeff as he would unplug their bug zapper and tell the evicted contestant, “The trailer park has spoken. You are the weakest link. Turn in your beer koozie.” Then as some screaming team member yells, ‘Take that sumbitch to jail.’ The contestant would have his or her shirt ripped off and to the tune of, Bad Boy Bad Boy What you gonna do, a Cop right out of Cops would taser them, throw them on the ground and take them to the County Jail where Cell Block C has turned into the Jury House.

10 Responses to “A Real Survivor”

  1. roflmao

    I love it!!

    You should definitely pitch that to the producers 😉

    It would make for good tv and that’s why it would never work. – Evyl

  2. And instead of a jet ski/helicopter to the live finale in Hollywood or NYC, Probst could just take a 4X4 down to the local watering hole. I like it.

    Hells yeah. – Evyl

  3. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    Trailerbilly Survivor would be the first reality show I’d ever watch.

    and I love the Hillbilly Habitrail in the pic. Replace the trailers with assorted farm-outbuildings and you’ve got my grandma’s house, complete with Crazy Uncle Jeb in one of the barn/garage/sheds, doing whatever it is crazy uncles do in there.

    Crazy Uncles could be a good spin off for the series. – Evyl

  4. Wow – you may have something here. I would watch THAT! LOL. You are way too creative! Love it!

    Thanks Teeni. – Evyl

  5. And now I’m singing “Copperhead Road” to myself. Damn, I’d be watching that!

    I love that song!!! – Evyl

  6. This is absolutely hilarious! CBS are you there????

    You should give them a call. – Evyl

  7. Oh Evyl, is this Heaven? Thas a Trailer Of Lot’s O’ Love!

    The Trailer Of Love

    If they do it, I damn sure want to enter. – Evyl

  8. That would just be The Real Housewives of Atlanta if they lose their shirts in this down market, Evyl. It’s a’comin’!

    They’d get cutthroat in a hurry. – Evyl

  9. Hi Evyl,

    Man I would sure love to have a sweet ’77 TA, but since I’ve actually served time in a trailer park I probably couldn’t enter. Which is a shame since I fancy my chances in at least three of the challenges you mentioned.

    By the way, how did you know about my Uncle Jeb?

    the Grit

    One would surely have to grow a pornstache to properly drive a ’77 TA. – Evyl

  10. Brilliant! This would definitely be more popular than Dancing with the Stars.

    Surely and maybe it would have a spinoff. Hoedown with the Stars. – Evyl

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