I Like Toast

I like toast and if the truth be known, I would bet that everyone likes toast. Even people on a gluten free diet or those that claim to like biscuits, flour tortillas, English muffins,ย or bagels really deep down like toast. Toast is plain, simple, and good. Toast is, well, toast is toast.

I like butter on my toast. My favorite method of cooking toast is to slather up a piece of white bread with butter. Well to tell the truth it isn’t butter. Since my wife’s heart attack last year, stocked in the fridge is some type of buttery spread, either ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’, or ‘Move Over Butter’, or some other heart smart spread but it’s pretty close to butter and actually spreads better anyway. Then I put it butter side down on a hot skillet. I prefer cast iron but lately I have been using a non-stick pan. It’s one of the new fangled ones that you can use metal utensils on and it doesn’t scratch. That’s pretty cool. I cook that side until the butter like substance cooks into the bread and leaves a golden brown color to the non-spread areas of the bread and then I flip it over with a plastic spatula. I still doubt the metal resistant properties of the non-stick pan. I guess I just don’t have that much faith in Teflon, although I am not sure that this stuff is even Teflon. I threw away the packaging without really reading it that thoroughly. I have problems with that. My wife says that this is not really toast but buttered bread. I still say it’s toast.

Sometimes I like to put honey on my toast, eventhough honey costs an arm and a leg these days. That’s sad because I really like honey. I suppose it has something to do with all the bees that have died off. And that makes it even more sad. Although I am not too fond of bees, I do like honey and that charector on the Honey Nut Cheerios commercials makes me smile. Sometimes I like jelly on my toast. I like strawberry the best although I also like peach, plum, and grape jellies. Jam is alright although I do prefer the texture of jelly over jam. I don’t care for marmalade. It’s those chunks of rind and stuff. I just don’t like that. And I really don’t like preserves. Those big chunks of fruit really mess up the toast. I don’t want big chunks of anything overpowering the simple taste of toast.

If I am eating eggs, then I just like my plain buttered toast. I like my eggs over easy that way I can use my plain buttered toast to soak up the yolk. I used to put salsa or Tabasco sauce on my eggs. But my tastes have changed and now I just like my over easy eggs with salt and pepper and no added condiments.

I like French Toast. Although I really don’t know why the call it toast. It is so much more than just plain toast. I am not to particular about whether it has powdered sugar on it or not. I suppose that movie, ‘Road Trip’, forced me to re-examine that issue. Although I like french toast, I really wouldn’t like it if someone walked around with my French Toast in their underwear. I am finicky enough not to like that.

To put it quite simply, I like toast. I even like songs about toast. Now I think that I will go fix me a couple of pieces of toast.

25 Responses to “I Like Toast”

  1. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    I disagree with your wife – buttering the bread and cooking it on a teflon pan is not buttered bread – buttered bread is just bread with butter on it. bread heated until it changes color and texture is toast.

    Thanks for the confirmation. – Evyl

  2. Wow, a toast rant. Never thought I’d read one. BTW, I’d strangle the Honey Nut Cheerio Bee if I had the chance…

    I would say it is more of a ramble than a rant. – Evyl

  3. I also adore toast. I would it eat 24/7 if I could!

    Yeah Toast!!! – Evyl

  4. I wrote a similar post about rye toast a few months ago.

    To this day, it was my most popular blog entry.

    My most popular entry is one with big tits. I suppose that everyone likes big tits and toast. – Evyl

  5. I’m trying to bring myself to get a tattoo of angry toast. If you want a further description of what I mean, check out my post on my tattoo’d toes. I went from Angry Toast to Angry Toes one night and dressed em up nicely. hahahaha


    Great post on toast! (that’s just fun to say)

    I’ll check it out. I never thought of angry toast before. – Evyl

  6. Whoa, easy dude. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so passionate about toast before. Did you happen to drink a red bull or something?
    Hey, slap a piece of cheese in the middle and you got toast with cheese, a.k.a. toasted cheese or grilled cheese! Now I’m hungry…

    I like bread sticks with cheese with a side of marinara to dip it in. That should count. – Evyl

  7. Perfect video accompaniment. This post did make me hungry. I really do love toast. My favorite is english muffins. And I have to agree with Dok Holocaust – if it has changed color and texture then it is toast. You really are doing some creative writing here, Evyl and I’m loving it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I wouldn’t say it is creative but it certainly is different. And I like English Muffins but would rather have just plain toast. Unless I am eating gravy and then buttermilk biscuits are better. – Evyl

  8. Gimme a loaf of bread and a toaster and butter and leave me alone. Better yet, heat up the oven and spread some cheese and butter on it and let go just past done. Make it just a little darker than just brown. That and a coke and I’m good.

    Toast dries out a little to much in the oven for my taste. Unless it’s garlic toast cooked with thick slices of bread. – Evyl

  9. I so want toast now, but alas, I am not a domestic goddess. If I wake up the roommate to make me toast she will go crazy on my ass. But I want toast, I need toast. *whimpers*

    I would gladly cook you toast. I would even let you eat toast in bed. I love you that much. – Evyl

  10. Hi Evyl,

    I also am fond of toast. Unlike you, however, I make mine with a blowtorch. One of those big two tank monsters strapped to a dolly. It’s faster, a lot more fun, and no one interrupts me while I’m cooking.

    the Grit

    That’s handy. So is a branding fire for a manly way to cook toast. – Evyl

  11. I like bread and butter…I like toast and jam…less my babys eatin with some other mannnnnn…….remember that? I like toast with butter…..its da bomb!

    I had forgot that little ditty. Thanks for reminding me. And thanks for dropping in. I have missed ya darlin’. – Evyl

  12. I swear I did not see this post until AFTER i wrote my list of things I am grateful for (see # 18! )

    I knew there was more than the obvious reasons why I like you so much! heeheheeee

    It’s nice that toast is finally getting the recognition that it deserves. – Evyl

  13. QueenBitch Says:

    Lately I’ve been having my toast with hummas and tomoato.. its quite good.
    Why is honey so expencive? I dont eat honey.. I beleive its still pretty much the same price.

    I’ve never tried hummas. It just has a nasty sounding name. It sounds more like a sexually transmitted disease than a food. – Evyl

  14. Having just scrafed down 2 slices of golden crispy goodness with butter and Vegemite I couldn’t agree with you more! ๐Ÿ˜›

    I have never tried Vegemite. Next time that I get a chance, I will head over to the World Market and get me some and try it on some toast. – Evyl

  15. Mmmm…

    Dammit, now I want toast. And I’m at work, with no bread, and the cafes would charge me $5 for a piece. And it’d be cold.

    Jayne’s got a point, vegemite IS the perfect addition to toast.

    Five bucks for toast. Damn that sucks. – Evyl

  16. If you do try it, here’s a hint – only use a little bit. Scrape it all over the toast. Be as parsimonious as you might if it was worth $5000000 a jar. (although if it were worth that much, you’d probably just sell it)

    I’ll follow your suggestion. – Evyl

  17. Where’s Evyl and what have you done with him?
    I demand an answer.
    Is this Martha Stewart?
    Ooooh, you bitch. Let him go!
    Off to make some toast . . . (in a ‘toaster’) ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Didn’t catch the tag huh? The post is dedicated to your comment yesterday on posting without obscenities. – Evyl

  18. Got it.
    Totally missed the tag.
    Had I read my previous comment it all would have made sense.
    Lesson learned.

    No prob. Perhaps I will do a Martha post. – Evyl

  19. dontdatethatdude Says:

    I too am a toast lover, but I can’t eat toast, so now I’m drooling and it’s just wrong, so don’t write about toast! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sorry ’bout that. – Evyl

  20. Mmmmmm. Toast.

    I like mine with strawberry preserves or with cheese.

    Can’t go wrong with toast. – Evyl

  21. Hmm…I did catch the tag, but I’m sorry darlin’, it just doesn’t seem right for some reason….please tell me you’ll be back to cursing all over the place real soon?
    On the subject matter, I like my toast burnt with tomato sauce or sweet mustard pickles…yes, I know, strange….I’ve been told that more times than i can count…I have an entire ritual when it comes to toast…almost a post in itself….

    I guarentee I will be cursing in no time. – Evyl

  22. I also wondered what happened to the real Evyl , his lovin of toast sounds a little fuzzy to me
    I like rye bread toasted with butter
    Have a good Thanksgiving!

    You have a great Thanksgiving as well. And I have a fuzzy Thanksgiving post up for ya. – Evyl

  23. Toast with butter…eggs over easy…yeah, baby!

    Hells Yeah!!! – Evyl

  24. My goodness! An Evyl post I can identify with…

    Good toast starts with good bread. The best is Honey Wheat Berry by Earth Grains (not the Orowheat shit.) Then put some butter of some kind on it, although this bread is so good, you may toast it dry, especially if you’re going to be topping it with jelly or peanut butter or honey or something. Put it in a hot broiler oven for about 5 minutes till it’s medium brown. Turn off oven and it may be eaten any time from immediately or up to 24 hours later (when you may want to reheat it just a bit.) I like to toast three slices; one to eat with my egg, one for “dessert” with jelly or honey, and one for later – maybe lunch with peanut butter.

    Ideally, I let it sit about 10 more minutes until it’s crispy crunchy through and through. Then eat it with a poached egg whose yolk is about the same consistency as over-easy, maybe just a tad more cooked. Chop up the egg with salt (lots of salt) and pepper and mix it up well so that all the bites of the egg are covered with yolk. Using your fork, cut bites of the crispy toast, get a forkfull of egg and spear the bite of toast with it and pop it in mouth and savor! The lots of salt makes up for the lack of bacon. A few times a year, though, allow yourself the luxury of slow-frying some bacon, well-done and crispy. Then add a bite of bacon to the forkfull of egg and toast, and experience breakfast heaven!


    I have never had a poached egg. I’ll have to give it a try. But I do love me some bacon. – Evyl

  25. One more thing: I’ve noticed recently that Walmart has an Earth Grains bread called Whole Wheat with Honey (on something close to that. It may even be “Wheat Berry with Honey.”) It’s not the same thing. Nothing is as good as ‘Honey Wheat Berry” by Earth Grains. Give me your address, I’ll send you some.

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