Fog The Mirror

There is a new employee at the facility that to be quite frank is not the brightest crayon in the box. Gathered in the security office before shift change, the new employee notices a mirror. The mirror is at the end of a long handle and has wheels underneath. Such as the mirror shown below.

wheeled-security-mirror

We use the mirror to look under vehicles entering the facility for contraband. As there has been some misadventures in extra food and assorted contraband leaving the kitchen, a mirror was brought inside to aid in looking under the food carts.

The gullible new employee asked what the mirror was used for and how to use it. The Sergeant explained to the new employee that it is a new aid for strip searches. That it could be wheeled under the inmate as he squatted and coughed to make visual identification of contraband easier.

I was impressed with the answer of the Sergeant and added for the new officers instruction that not only was it an aid to visually check for contraband but that another thing to look for was is the mirror fogged up or not. If the inmate squatted and coughed and the mirror fogged up then all was fine but if the mirror did not fog up then there was some obstruction in the inmate’s anus and that the inmate would need to be checked further with a cavity search and that he should inform the shift supervisor.

I was proud of the Sergeant. He kept a straight face throughout my instructions to the new employee. It does a heart proud when training pays off.

19 Responses to “Fog The Mirror”

  1. Crazy Dan Says:

    I have to know who was the sergeant?

  2. hahaha…I love it……who says work cant be fun????

  3. Bahahaha… playing with the gullible is so much fun. We play a game with first year med students. Gatorade and urine are approximately the same color in a specimen jar. Watching them near puke when you drink the gatorade is classic.

    That is freakin’ awesome!!! – Evyl

  4. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    Yanno, I’ve often thought of getting one of those inspection mirrors and using it to get a new perspective on myself, so to speak.

    Just be careful when you squat and cough. It has a tendency to dislodge things. – Evyl

  5. Oh, you are soooo bad! I hope he finds out the truth before some poor prisoner has an unnecessary cavity search! LOL

    That would be a shame. Buhahahahaha. – Evyl

  6. is there any such thing as an unnecessary cavity search on prisoners?

    Evyl, you are so evil

    *worships at Evyl’s feet*

    Arise dear one. And thanks!!! – Evyl

  7. If an inmate were to fog up the mirror. . . I guess he’d be okay, but. . . I’m sorry, I was just thinking what it would take for an inmate to actually fog the mirror. On the other hand, this newbie better get a case of rubber gloves.

    Yeppers. – Evyl

  8. Thanks. The unavoidable visual is just VILE.

    Ain’t it though. – Evyl

  9. LMFAO!! :))

    Thanks. I’m glad that you liked it. – Evyl

  10. You are well named, dear 😉

    I do try to live up to my rep. – Evyl

  11. you guys really hate your jobs, eh?

    Ya gotta luv it. – Evyl

  12. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    you might want to brief the newbie about special procedures if an inmate leaves any droplets of moisture of little bits of solid matter on the mirror, heh.

    It’s best to learn from experience on that one. Some things just have to be experienced to be believed. Such as the time that I had to strip search a 700 lb. inmate. That was an experience that hypnotherapy couldn’t erase. – Evyl

  13. Speechless here, dude.
    Laughing my ass off as well.
    Jesus, we will someday trade some serious stories.
    :mrgreen:
    ~m

    That sounds like a blast. – Evyl

  14. That is so funny. But, I have to say, it’s sucks to be gullible. I am the worst – – You got him good though 😉

    It was a lot of fun. – Evyl

  15. I figured this was your new tool for up-skirting… meh.
    When my fiance worked in fast-food management in college, he used to instruct new employees to sweep the drive-thru and rotate the ice in the ice maker…

    Rotating the ice surely kept them busy for quite a while. – Evyl

  16. Twisted, totally twisted.
    I love it and only regret that I can’t use it with my newbies. Kinda hard to work into the banking industry ya know.

    Hehehehe. But I bet you find many other delightful gags to mess with their mind. – Evyl

  17. Hi Evyl,

    Alternatively, you could have told him that the only way to keep the mirror from fogging up was to jerk off on it and smear the ejaculate around, then lick it off.

    Also, this is an excellent reminder of why They will never take me alive.

    the Grit

    Yeppers. – Evyl

  18. Now THAT is funny.

    Don’t ya just love newbies?

    To pieces. – Evyl

  19. I can’t wait to try that out on any newbie I get! I’ve already sent newbie to find sterile air or go down to the pharmacy for some fallopian tubes……..

    Do those come in four packs? 😉 – Evyl

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