And That’s The Way He Wants It

animated20judge

As Disciplinary Hearing Officer, I have just about heard it all. I was running a disciplinary hearing on a minor infraction. An inmate had been written up for a level three offense; Using Indecent, Abusive, or Vulgar Words or Gestures. I relayed to the shift supervisor that I would be running this hearing and to have an officer escort the inmate to my office. The Shift Supervisor asked if I wanted the inmate in handcuffs as is my usual way, (it’s not that I mind taking care of business if an inmate gets out of hand but Use of Force paperwork is a complete pain in the ass.) I told the supervisor that it was only a minor deal and I was most likely going to give the inmate a verbal warning and go about my business so handcuffs would not be necessary.

The inmate got to my office and I read the charge and the report that stated that he was rapping and the lyrics of his rap included the words, ‘I’m gonna fuck you in the mouth. I’m gonna stick my dick in your mouth.’ When I asked him if he wished to enter a plea of guilty or not guilty, he entered a plea of not guilty. I then asked him to explain his side of the story.

The inmate said that those lines were not what he said at all but that he was only rapping a tune from Lil’ Wayne. I asked him to repeat the lyrics that he did say. He rapped,’ It’s all about the motherfuckin’ money.’ I stopped him right there and told him that he did say the word fuck and if he could understand that the officer might have misunderstood him and that as this officer did not use that type of language, how she might have been offended by his language. He said that he didn’t say fuck. I stated that fuck was the base word to motherfuckin’. He then stated, ‘You motherfuckers just don’t understand.’

I suppose not. I put the cuffs on him and sentenced him to fifteen days of Disciplinary Detention; (The Hole.) I guess, I just will never understand that damned rap music.

19 Responses to “And That’s The Way He Wants It”

  1. hopefully they will never read your blog…your sickest page would put you “in the hole” for life!

  2. Hi Evyl,

    This bit from News Radio pretty much sums up rap “music” for me:

    Joe Garrelli: I thought you liked rap music.
    Bill McNeal: I did, but that was before I realized it had words.
    Catherine Duke: Wait a minute, you didn’t know rap had words? Why did you think it was called rap?
    Bill McNeal: I thought it was because of the rhythm. You know, rap-rap, rappity-tap.

    the Grit

    If it was named for the rhythm then it would mostly be called thump thump thump music. At least that’s all that I can discern from the cars cruisin’ down the street. – Evyl

  3. Darn that rap music!

    Zactly. – Evyl

  4. Haaaa ! Fuck that MotherFucker !

    Thanks dude. – Evyl

  5. All jobs should have a fun side. πŸ™‚

    This is certainly mine. – Evyl

  6. must be the week for idiots lol

    Must be. – Evyl

  7. Always said rap was spelt with a capital C πŸ˜›

    I gotta agree with ya. – Evyl

  8. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    i don’t get the rap music either. what little of it I’ve heard seems to be a blend of profanity and promotion of high-end consumer goods.

    having been a teenager at one point in my life, I understand the appeal of marginally musical offensive noise, but I still think the rappers could do with a bit of a vocabulary boost. maybe go the route of some death-metal bands and include lots of medical terminology, so instead of merely “I’ll fuck your fucking shit up” they could say things like “your internal organs will feel my cold hands/ I’ll feed you your own islets of langerhans” or similar.

    They do have access to a thesaurus in the legal library. – Evyl

  9. You stupid mother fucker! ROFLMAO!

    They ain’t in here for winning a Rhodes Scholarship. – Evyl

  10. I see you’re a closet KC and The Sunshine band fan with that title there honey???
    All you needed was “A huh a huh” in the middle…
    πŸ˜†
    It’s so easy to see how they end up incarcerated isn’t it??? DUH!!
    πŸ™„

    Actually the title is a reference to ‘Cool Hand Luke’ but I see that you are a KC Fan. – Evyl

  11. Is your desk top padded?? I would probably beat my forehead on a regular basis on my desk after these morons would walk out……

    I find it refreshing actually. – Evyl

  12. Those motherfuckers just don’t get it do they !! Ask ~M about his views or RAP he had a post that stirred up the base. :mrgreen:

    I well know and totally agree with his attitude on this so called music. – Evyl

  13. That was hysterical! “You motherfuckers just don’t understand.” How do you keep a straight face? I would be laughing my ass off. That wouldn’t make me a very good authority figure, I suppose. LOL

    Sometimes it’s tough to keep a straight face. But I am one of those lucky individuals that can laugh hysterically on the inside and not crack a smile. – Evyl

  14. Didn’t you know that “moth” is the base of motherfucker, Evyl? Any one with any kind of education could tell you that.

    Sorry ’bout that. – Evyl

  15. Once again, I’m sure you showed amazing restraint. I guess when you make a compound word with “fuck” it looses something in the interpretation? Is that his thinking?

    I don’t think he had a clue. – Evyl

  16. Gosh, didn’t those fools go to grammar school? Like how can they not know about “base” words and stuff?!?!?! πŸ˜‰ (and he soooo said the first line, I bet he did!!)

    I bet he did as well. – Evyl

  17. LOL. These are probably the same people that my cop locks up for saying “Fuck the Po-lice” while running in the other direction. Those make the best “oops, you fell” stories.

    Shhhh. – Evyl πŸ˜‰

  18. Fuck rap music!

  19. I lol’d inside. πŸ™‚

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