Just Doing My Part: Episode 777

I received a request from an Inmate stating that he wished to talk to me regarding a problem that he was having with the Medical Department. Although the Medical Department is not under my jurisdiction, as a consummate professional concerned with the problems of all inmates at the facility, I gladly granted him an interview.

The offender informed me that he was having trouble getting the Medical Department to agree to give him a special diet tray. The offender appeared to me to be about 5′ 10″ and to weigh in the three hundred pound range. I told him what special diet needs did he require. The inmate stated that he wasn’t getting enough to eat and he needed an extra tray or at least an extra sandwich.

I welcomed him to ‘The Biggest Loser: The Prison Edition” and wished him good luck on being the biggest loser.

It’s so good to be of service to mankind.

22 Responses to “Just Doing My Part: Episode 777”

  1. I see big guys waddle in and I always wonder how the hell they can be that big in prison! It’s not like there is a McD’s on the corner. Their food intake is controlled and somehow they still are large!

    There is always commissary. One quick inmate recipe here. Take a honey bun and smear peanut butter over the top. Next nuke it in the microwave until warm. Crazee Tastee. – Evyl

  2. And this is why we love you Evyl, you are such a caring fella!

    I do try. – Evyl

  3. I’m sure someone would offer him a butt plug to fill him up.

    Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease. Speaking of butt plugs check out Mantown for a great buttplug story. – Evyl

  4. You are charming in your evilosity!

    You say the sweetest things. – Evyl

  5. Sounds like he’s gonna come out of there a “lean, mean, fighting machine!” Or dead.

    John Candy would be proud either way.

    I’m sure that he would. – Evyl

  6. I’m sure if he asked nicely someone would be more than happy to give him some sausage.

    Mama Mia that’s some spicy meatballs. – Evyl

  7. You are a true humanitarian darlin’…it’s one of the reasons we love you so much you know….
    Now if we could only get you to eat chili with beans in it……..

    Yuck. – Evyl

  8. You deserve and award of some kind. You da man.

    Thank you sir. You are far too kind. – Evyl

  9. Such a good man.

    You have me blushing. – Evyl

  10. What …he can’t order a pizza and have it delivered while he watches TV??
    I give you a wink and a smile for your patience and consideration

    They only have pizza delivered on Friday’s. Ain’t that a bitch. – Evyl

  11. I thought all inmates “worked out” in the yard and weren’t released until they got buff. He may be there awhile.

    It is amazing how much some of these work out. But they have nothing better to do. – Evyl

  12. Awww.. poor guy, sounds like he may starve to death in a few years.

    It will certainly take awhile. – Evyl

  13. Well, that was rude of me… I’ll just go back to my kitchen now…

    So whatcha cookin’? – Evyl

  14. Hi Evyl,

    Well, at least you don’t have to worry about him escaping by squeezing between the bars.

    the Grit

    That is one worry averted. – Evyl

  15. no special diets, he shoulda thought of that before he went to prison…asshats! oh they piss me off big time.

    Generally thinking isn’t their strong suit. – Evyl

  16. LOVE IT!!!!!!! LOL

    Thanks!!! – Evyl

  17. Any chance of actually having his food decreased instead of increased? The peanut butter on the honeybun – ACK!

  18. LOL. Ah, the joys of getting paid to tell people “fuck off”.

  19. haha excellent! You better hope he doesn’t get out soon

  20. You are so caring with the inmates. Bet they really appreciate your efforts.

    And when will I learn not to drink while reading your blog – the monitor has turned a coffee colour 🙂

  21. Dude-
    Check your Gmail.
    I think I’ve gone to spam again . . .
    Sent you @4 emails :o(

  22. Evyl, I hope your absence is due to being hogtied by midget hookers.

    I have a little something for you at my blog.

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