Confession Is Good For The Soul: My Ass

This morning I woke up early and flipped through the channels and wound up watching some bullshit documentary on HBO. The program was Middle School Confession. The show was documenting a bunch of acne factory twelve and thirteen year old jailbait bitches. The young teen girls were talking about how they were proud to be virgins but didn’t mind giving a ‘handy’ or going down on their boyfriends.

Now I’m no fucking pedophile or cho-mo or anything but I do have one question. Where in the flying fuck were these bitches when I was in junior high. I would have done some serious asskissin’ for a damned blow job back in the day, hell I did some serious asskissin’ just to feel up a couple of nubs. Hell, I got a stiffy when the fucking wind blew in the right damned direction but do you think any of the bitches that I went to school with was willing to google the hoogler. Hell fucking no.

I was born ahead of my time and motherfucker that sucks ass.

10 Responses to “Confession Is Good For The Soul: My Ass”

  1. Hell, you can leave the young bitches completely OUT of the equation..THE HOT TEACHERS ARE BANGIN’ THE KIDS NOW !!!

    And I’m missing out on that shit too. Fuck!!! – Evyl

  2. Catholic girls. You should have chatted up the Catholic girls. They’re pure as the driven snow, but they train on lollipops. 😉

    I had to wait until high school for the Catholic girls. And yeah they were a lot of fun. Although when I went off to college I was introduced to Jewish girls. And that was mighty nice as well. – Evyl

  3. tobaccoroad890 Says:

    Git it on Heff. That’s what I’m talkin’ about. There were a couple of teachers I’da let molest me. Of course back in my day I remember nothing of what the girls are doing today going on.

    I had one teacher that was about four foot eight inches tall and had torpedoes for breasts back when I was in Jr. High. Ahh, if only. – Evyl

  4. No shit man! All of this “you can fuck me in the ass cause I can’t get pregnant” and “a blowjob is like a handshake”. WTF! I am quite sure there were chicks like that back then but I guess I wasn’t pulling that kind of action.


    I feel your pain. – Evyl

  5. I knew a girl in middle school that got caught doing the naughty in the gym. Dum bitch did it right before PE!!! I walked into the girls bathroom another time and caught the same girl giving a friend of mine a blow with one standing there watching and waiting his turn. Honestly I don’t know what makes a girl like that and I am just glad I was never like that nor am I now.

    I wonder what she’s doing now. – Evyl

  6. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    my kid sister explained this one for me. there is a conspiracy amongst the junior high girls, to make people think they are having sex when, in fact, they are not, to claim they give handies and BJs when they in fact do no such thing.

    it is largely done to piss off the junior high boys. Upsetting the adults is a nice side-effect.

    Bitches. – Evyl

  7. Hi Evyl.

    I blame it on Global Warming.

    the Grit

    It’s that fucking Obama. – Evyl

  8. you just went to the wrong high school is all.
    Lord knows, you can’t blame it on the swine flu . . .

    I’m blaming it on Obama. Why not he’s an easy mark. – Evyl

  9. I never did that shit at that age! What the hell???

    I don’t know but it is really pissing me off that I missed it. – Evyl

  10. LOL! Yeah, it seems things have changed a bit since I was their age. But it’s like the saying, “they start younger and younger all the time.” I think you were born too soon for a reason – maybe it kept you out of trouble a bit. 😉

    You are most likely one hundred percent right on this one. – Evyl

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