Fuck Cute

Yesterday, I was out shopping for some new duty boots. While headed to the boot rack on the back aisle, I noticed a young couple looking at ladies shoes. I overheard him say, ‘They’re cute but I’m just not sure they’re you.’

What in the flying fuck is up with that? I would have shot this fucker in the balls but I might be arrested for destroying her fucking purse. There are only two legitimate uses for the word, ‘cute’, in the English Language. I man may say that a baby or very young child is cute and a man may say that a puppy or infant animal is cute. All other uses of the word cute by a man is strictly forbidden and if a man uses it for other than these two legitimate reasons then in my opinion he might as well take a trip to Trinidad, Colorado, donate his balls to a worthy cause, have his cock flipped inside out, and concentrate on a career in Softball.

Fuckin’ sonsofbitches, It’s metro-sexual asshole cum-bubbles like that, that make it tough for the rest of us real men.

26 Responses to “Fuck Cute”

  1. Ah, HAHAHA! Now I know what you meant about that word. I had to LOL at you saying you would have shot him in the balls but it might have destroyed her purse. Still laughing……….. šŸ™‚

    Thanks!!! – Evyl

  2. Honey, it wouldn’t matter what word you used, I’m sure noone would ever be in any doubt about you being all man!
    Having said that, i can fully understand why you dont want to…

    You say the sweetest things. – Evyl

  3. I went shopping for boots with my little brown bunny. I ask him,

    “So, what do you think”

    He says,

    “Lose your clothes so I can admire them more”

    I bought the boots.

    “metro-sexual asshole cum-bubbles” that’s fucking awesome. I learn a new insult every day from the people I love. *kiss*

    Ahh, you’re so sweet. – Evyl

  4. Aww, what a cute post Evyl! *snort*

    Cum-bubble- that’s a new one and had me on the floor! Adorable!

    Glad ya liked it. – Evyl

  5. Cute? men don’t use that word, except to describe as you say baby’s or
    young children. It is true knob jockey’s use it a lot and the only reason they have their purses down there is so they get groped as they have their purses snatched by some other “Knob Jockey” They should all be dressed as condom’s with razor wire as g strings so the cum bubble doesn’t spill.

    Truth. – Evyl

  6. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    I kinda feel sorry for that guy, forced into going shoe-shopping with his girlfriend like that. women can take forever to buy a pair of shoes. I hink at that point he had embraced hisfate and decided to prolong it even further, to make HER suffer for taking so long to find some shoes, as a form of revenge. he was probably saying “They’re cute but I don’t think they’re you” to every pair of shoes she showed him.

    either that or he is gay and seriously helping her find a pair of shoes

    Could be. – Evyl

  7. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    only advice i ever gave to a shoe-shopping girlfriend: “take youtr time – I’m gonna go to the video game store and get some lunch.”

    Excellent advice. – Evyl

  8. Agreed. Our new kitten is cute, and that is about it.

    I think Gia would punch me in the jewels if I said she looked cute.

    It is a very low spectrum compliment. – Evyl

  9. He needed a good old fashioned beatdown in my opinion. And don’t get me started on women and shoes.

    I agree. – Evyl

  10. In my mind, I can see you walking over and hitting the asshat over the head with a rubber mallet, ala ‘Whack-A-Mole’
    What the hell is he doing looking at shoes in the first place?
    Fucking shoes! And not Man shoes! Women’s shoes!
    He needs a size 12 penny-loafer shoved up his squeaky little ass . . . sideways.
    Christ in a sidecar . . .

    Truth. – Evyl

  11. Cute is, as you say, kittens and puppies and babies and fluffy bubba ducks….not frigging footwear.
    He needs someone to get all stabbity fuck on him šŸ˜›

    Hells Yeah. – Evyl

  12. dammit! jayne beat me the stabbity fuck to it! lol

    I also think it’s ok to use cute in relation to your wife’s crafty attempts when you don’t know what else to say lol

    That might work. – Evyl

  13. clubwah Says:

    You’re so cute when you’re angry!!!

    I’m thinking the poor guy did not give a flying fuck about the shoes and was just trying to pretend he did. They were obviously not a married couple and he reckoned a day’s shopping with her would result in some sack action later on. Thinking the shoes actually looked arse-ugly he did the old “they’re nice BUT … ” though cute came out instead.
    I reckon that level of manners suggests he hasn’t even farted in front of her yet. In time he’ll simply learn to piss off to Bunnings while she looks at shoes.

    I guess that I’m fucking cute all the time then because I generally stay in a state of pissed off. – Evyl

  14. Hi Evyl,

    You have obviously forgotten what it’s like to date. The need to get some can make a man say crazy things, and do crazy things like looking at shoes with the object of his lust. Oh, and there is always the chance that the guy was gay and just out on a shopping spree with his gal pal. On the other hand, if they were recognizable as a long time married couple, you would have been kind if you had put a bullet in his head to end his misery. Modern society is much too complicated.

    the Grit

    Back in my single days, I was more into the hump ’em and dump ’em philosophy of dating and never went shoe shopping. – Evyl

  15. Based on the title I thought perhaps this was some love-making advice. Not so much. šŸ˜‰

    Yeah I really wish the metro’s would take their handbags and guchi loafers and move to another planet – like I dunno – pluto or something. They do obscure the view of the real men. šŸ™‚

    You sweet talker. – Evyl

  16. Ya sure he wasn’t gay????

    Who knows? Could be. I didn’t hang around in case his shit was contagious. – Evyl

  17. OK, Evyl, for once I’ve got to disagree with you. Sometimes the word cute is completely helpful. (And I think it’s one of those safe words guys can use with their platonic girl friends.) Here’s why… when I was hired for this latest job my boss was trying to warn me that this other female employee might have it out for me. I won the job over one of her friends. My boss went on describing this woman as a smile while she backstabs you type and he also makes a crack about how she “likes being the pretty one”. So I asked, “Wait, is this going to be one of those companies where the women hate me because I’m skinny?” And he said, “Well, you’re bringing in a cute factor that might not win you any points.”

    I appreciated the intel.

    But wouldn’t the word, ‘hotness’, work better in that phrase? – Evyl

  18. I agree with you all the way. That rates right up there with the muscle bound, uber-male freak of nature that has to prove his manliness daily but will walk a wimpy, yappy, rat-dog poodle in the middle of town.

    Damn that is the worst. – Evyl

  19. My vote? He is gay. Definitely.

    My guy would have said “Put them on, lie down and hold them up over your head and THEN I’ll tell you if I like’em!”

    Shoes always look better when held against the ears. – Evyl

  20. Yeah, that’s not a word I use either, of course. The OL and I were talking about this too. No guy ever describes a girl as “pretty”. It’s pretty much either hot or not.

    True. – Evyl

  21. Dude? Duuuuuuuude?
    You there?

    I’m back again. Damn one of these days work will slow down and allow me a fucking life. – Evyl

  22. I like the line “metro-sexual asshole cum-bubbles like that, that make it tough for the rest of us real men”

    and I agree….

    Thanks. – Evyl

  23. Hey my friend,
    It’s time for you to pick up your part of the rolling post. Go to my blog to get the details. I’m emailing you too just to be on the safe side.

    I got er up. Sorry for the delay. – Evyl

  24. I was going to say “Oh crap, Josh was just saying how cute our friend’s kid is!” I’m glad that’s on the acceptable usage list.

    Yep, that is perfectly acceptable. – Evyl

  25. haha this made me laugh! I definitely use cute but when I am talking about puppy’s so I think I am safe. How you doing Fuzz šŸ™‚

    Not too shabby. – Evyl

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