Archive for the Advertising Category

Flip It

Posted in Advertising, Advice and Guidance, Rants with tags on April 21, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I really hate those new GM commercials showing all the boneheads with their caps flipped inside out. Supposedly it is inspired by a sports cliche that when a rally is needed everyone flips their caps inside out.

I hope all the environmental nut-jobs don’t put two and two together and come up with a campaign to conserve water resources by encouraging people to turn their drawers inside out in order to save washing them for another day.

Now That’s Fucking Lazy

Posted in Advertising, Rants, The End Of The World with tags on April 14, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I recently saw a commercial advertising a text service. All a person had to do was text a question and the service would answer it for 99 cents. I suppose this is a service for assholes that are too fucking lazy to Google for themselves or some fucking Cliff Clavin type of asshole that just has to have the right Jeopardy answer while spouting bullshit at the corner of the bar. Either way an asshole and his money are soon parted.

Yabba Dabba Doo

Posted in Advertising, Crazy Fuckers, For The Freaks, Medical on April 6, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I saw a commercial recently for Flintstone Gummy Vitamins. It seems that they contain Choline which is a nutrient found in breast milk. I started laughing my ass off. My wife gave me one of her patented, ‘What the fuck is it now’, looks. I explained to her that it made me think of that old gum ‘Squirt’; that was the gum that had a liquid center that oozed out when you bit into it. I could picture in my mind some crumb-cruncher biting into a Flintstone Gummy Vitamin as breast milk exploded into their mouth. I also believe that if an actual breast milk filled vitamin came onto the market, pervs the world over would be a lot healthier.

Freak Of The Week Winner: The Aditional Freak

Posted in Advertising, For The Freaks, Freaks and Friends, Fun and Games with tags on January 26, 2009 by Pure Evyl

The time has come to crown the Newest Freak of the Week. This week was particularly tough for the Freak Finding Panel of Judges but in the end there could be only one.  Here is this weeks winning entry.

Lots Of - “It wont matter that you have a small dick”

Lots Of - “It wont matter that you have a small dick”

Congratulations Java Queen for your winning entry. You are truly deserving. And a special thanks to everyone for playing along. Remember you are all winning freaks in my eyes.

Now what are you waiting for? Go and congratulate Java Queen for her great entry and don’t forget to check out my ode to the winner on the Freak of the Week page.

A special shout out to The Grit. One of the Judges wished to give you a special acknowledgement for your entry of, “When the loving is over, it doubles as a walk in closet.” We are still trying to get this judge from going into fits of uncontrollable giggling.

Daytime Observations

Posted in Advertising, Crazy Fuckers, famous people, Food, personal thoughts, Popular Culture, Prison, Television with tags , , , , on December 26, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Being on vacation this week, in between Christmas shopping and entertaining my three year old granddaughter. I managed to catch a little daytime tv. Here are just a few observations.

  • The Today Show (After Today Show or whatever the fuck they call it) with Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford would make for a decent sit-com about a dysfunctional lesbian couple.
  • I do believe that Tyra’s boobs have grown.
  • Billy Mays may not be the anti-christ but he as about as close as you can find as seen on TV.
  • Someone must have pulled the stick out of Martha Stewart’s ass when she was in prison. And what’s with that ‘Whatever Martha’ show. Damn that’s cool and she actually produces the show that pokes fun at her.
  • If paparazzi tv could actually show the nip slips and crotch shots then it might actually be worth watching. Otherwise it’s just bullshit.
  • Even though Rachel Ray is annoying and has seemed to chunk up a bit. I’d still let her lick my spoon.
  • Combining the last two observations, a nip slip cooking show would really be Good Eats.

Now That's A 30 Minute Meal!!!

Now That's A 30 Minute Meal!!!

Give Me My Vitamins

Posted in Advertising, Happiness, personal thoughts, Twisted Video with tags , , on December 10, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I feel young again just watching this commercial.

I Just Don’t Get It

Posted in Advertising, Life's Questions, love and marraige, personal thoughts, Popular Culture with tags , , , , , , on November 30, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Frankly, I just don’t get this commercial. I find it hard to believe that Charlie Sheen would idol worship Michael Jordan. Sure Jordan is arguably the greatest basketball player ever but come on let’s get real. Not only was Charlie Sheen married to the super hot Denise Richards, he also screwed some of the finest women that money could buy, courtesy of Heidi Fleiss. And another thing that part at the end where Sheen throws his cell phone and says, ‘Call me, my numbers in there.’ What kind of idiot would look through Charlie Sheen’s cell phone and have time to call his number? As for me, I’d be calling up his ex!

Wait Til I Get My Hanes On You

Wait Til I Get My Hanes On You

Racial Balance

Posted in Advertising, Bullshit, In The News, Life's Questions, personal thoughts, Popular Culture, Social and Politics with tags on November 18, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Something has been brewing since early this election month that has brought forth a lot of racial division in this country.

Aunt Jemima Pancake Syrup

Aunt Jemima Pancake Syrup


Mrs. Butterworth's Pancake Syrup

Mrs. Butterworth

 Fuck It!!! I am going to start using Log Cabin Brand Syrup and stay the fuck out of this mess.

Beers and Bikinis

Posted in Advertising, Bullshit, Flatulance, For The Freaks, personal thoughts, Twisted Video with tags , , on November 12, 2008 by Pure Evyl
Push It. Push It Real Good

Push It. Push It Real Good

Beer and Bikini’s are two things that go together like peas and carrots but beware sometimes you might get too much of a good thing.