Archive for the Advice and Guidance Category

Ya Know

Posted in Advice and Guidance, For The Freaks, love and marraige, personal thoughts with tags on July 29, 2009 by Pure Evyl

Ya know it is fucking hot when you bang your old lady on your side of the bed just so that you can have a cool wet place to sleep.

Manscaping Gone Bad

Posted in Advice and Guidance, Bullshit, For The Freaks with tags , on April 23, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I just bought a new nose hair trimmer and figured I would check on-line and see if I could find a new style for nose hair trimming. There really isn’t too much info on the subject but I did find some neat shit.

manscaping-21

Not so super dude

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Is it just me or do you see Jabba The Hut?

manscaping-4

When your mullet blends into your back hair perhaps it’s time to give it up.

I haven’t found any examples but here are a few ideas regarding nose hair styles.

  • The Flat Top – Or would that be a flat bottom?
  • The Nosehawk – Shave the outside and leave the inside long and comb your nose hairs to the center.
  • The Afro – Wouldn’t take a trimmer but where can you find a nose pick?
  • The Dorothy Hamill – Stylish with snow in the nose hairs.

Flip It

Posted in Advertising, Advice and Guidance, Rants with tags on April 21, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I really hate those new GM commercials showing all the boneheads with their caps flipped inside out. Supposedly it is inspired by a sports cliche that when a rally is needed everyone flips their caps inside out.

I hope all the environmental nut-jobs don’t put two and two together and come up with a campaign to conserve water resources by encouraging people to turn their drawers inside out in order to save washing them for another day.

Life’s Too Short

Posted in Advice and Guidance, Crazy Fuckers, Happiness, love and marraige on April 5, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I found out yesterday that one of my co-workers and his wife are involved in an alternate lifestyle. Frankly I was quite shocked. Not that they would want to be swingers but due to the fact that I think both of them are highly lucky that they found one person that would fuck them. It seems that finding someone else that would fuck either of them would be highly unlikely. I guess it proves what I always say, ‘It’s a sick world and I’m a Happy Man and Life’s too short too swing with ugly people.

Just Sayin’: Road Rage

Posted in Advice and Guidance, Bullshit, Crazy Fuckers, personal thoughts with tags on February 4, 2009 by Pure Evyl

fucktard-crossing

I’m not admitting to severe Road Rage but I think that it would be a good idea to adopt the English way of putting the steering wheel on the right side of the car here in America¬† instead of the left side. It would make it so much more convenient to lean out the window and shoot some fucktard, that so richly deserved it, in the face with a pistol, bazooka, or weapon of choice for right handed drivers like myself. I’m just sayin’ that it would make it a lot safer than contorting your body to get a decent shot.

Words Of Wisdom

Posted in Advice and Guidance, Old Adages, personal thoughts with tags on January 6, 2009 by Pure Evyl

If you stab someone in the back always go for the kill. If not one must remember the maxim; The ass that you try to kick today, you may have to kiss tomorrow.

And remember to take that person off of your reference list on your resumes. Buhahahahaha!!!

What’s In A Name

Posted in Advertising, Advice and Guidance, On The Net, personal thoughts with tags on August 21, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Ambien CR has a new commercial. Of course they don’t tell you that the commercial is for Ambien CR. No the sleeping pill hawkers only show some weird ass commercials with a fucking chicken and direct you to a site called Silence The Chicken dot com. First off, I hate fucking artsy fartsy ass commercials that have absofuckinglutely nothing to do with the product. Secondly, I am not to keen on the moniker of ‘silence the rooster’. Wouldn’t more people be apt to actually go to the site if it was for chokeyourchicken.com?

Afterword: I was going to link to the site but as you can time the loadtime with a damned hourglass, I decided fuck ’em.