Archive for the Bullshit Category

WTF News

Posted in Bullshit, Crazy Fuckers, From Blogs, Fun and Games, In The News, On The Net, personal thoughts, Popular Culture, Social and Politics, The End Of The World with tags , , on December 28, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I was reading where Madonna has been swapping spit with a 20 year old Brazilian model by the name of Jesus. Well at least he is young enough to be her son. Can’t say much about any other comparisons because just singing like a virgin ain’t gonna cut it.

Like A Prayer? More Like A Runaway Cougar.

Like A Prayer? More Like A Runaway Cougar.

I’ve noticed that President Elect Obama’s shirtless Hawaii pics are all over the freakin’ web. I have seen the headlines read everything from ‘Whoa Bama’, to ‘The Most Buff President Ever.’ I just don’t know if I want a President known for being the most buff President ever. I’d rather have one known for being competent.  But after looking at the pic, I couldn’t help but notice why all the female voters have been oohing and aahing. Presidential Mooseknuckle; Now there’s an election technique that you don’t see everyday.

Presidential Mooseknuckle

Presidential Mooseknuckle

All in all these stories left me disgusted but then I came across some entertainment news to put a smile on my face. It seems that Ashley Simpson’s babydaddy is giving reviews on the taste of her breast milk.

I Am So Glad That I Am Not Lactose Intolerant

I Am So Glad That I Am Not Lactose Intolerant

I May Just Get Something After All

Posted in Bullshit, Fun and Games, Tasteless Toons with tags on December 24, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I knew that sooner or later, I would find a loophole in that damn naughty/nice list. This ‘toon shows me the way.

truth

And if that doesn’t work.

merry-kiss-my-ass

Seriously though from The Evyl Family to all of you, Merry Christmas!!!

Every Picture Tells A Story

Posted in Bullshit, Crazy Fuckers, For The Freaks with tags on December 21, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Every picture tells a story and this one screams out the fact that real life tentacle porn will never hit the big time.

tenticle-girls

Tasteless Poetry: Episode XXIII

Posted in Bullshit, For The Freaks, Fun and Games, Happiness, Holidays, Tasteless Poetry, Theme Music with tags , , , , , on December 9, 2008 by Pure Evyl

You asked for it. You got it. Sing along to the tune of White Christmas.

babychristmas

A Pabst Blue Ribbon Christmas

I’m dreaming of a Pabst Blue Ribbon Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know 
Where the beer cans glisten, 
and barflies listen 
To hear drunks pissin’  in the snow 

I’m dreaming of a Pabst Blue Ribbon Christmas 
With every Christmas song I hear 
May your days be merry with beer
And the beer don’t spill while shifting gears.

I’m dreaming of a Pabst Blue Ribbon Christmas 
With a crackwhore in spandex tights
May your wifebeater be shiny and bright
And may all your Christmas meth be white

Discounts In D Cups

Posted in Bullshit, For The Freaks, Fun and Games with tags , on November 22, 2008 by Pure Evyl

the_stripper

I recently read a news story regarding how the strip club industry is hurting in today’s ailing economy. Which leads me to; A few ways to tell that strip clubs are feeling the pinch.

  • The lead dancer carries a sign that reads: Will Strip For Food.
  • The Champagne Room is now The PBR Closet.
  • Between sets dancers sell Tupperware.
  • Lap dances are advertised as the bare minimum.
  • Twin strippers offer two for one special.

Ain’t Got Shit

Posted in Bullshit, Evyl's Friends, For The Freaks, Freaks and Friends, Tasteless Poetry, Theme Music, Twisted Video with tags , , on November 19, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I tried to write a tasteless poem for today but all that I could come up with was this:

jamie-lynn-sigler1

Shove my cock in Jamie Lynn Sigler

Deep down her throat to tickle her giggler.

I know that is for shit but it’s hard to think of anything with this video running through my head.

Oh well fuck it. I have a guest post coming up for Writer Chick, some guest picks for Phats, and the Freak of the Week contest coming up. Hopefully that damn song will get out of my head soon and I can post some of my usual fucked up shit.

Racial Balance

Posted in Advertising, Bullshit, In The News, Life's Questions, personal thoughts, Popular Culture, Social and Politics with tags on November 18, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Something has been brewing since early this election month that has brought forth a lot of racial division in this country.

Aunt Jemima Pancake Syrup

Aunt Jemima Pancake Syrup

 Or

Mrs. Butterworth's Pancake Syrup

Mrs. Butterworth

 Fuck It!!! I am going to start using Log Cabin Brand Syrup and stay the fuck out of this mess.

A Real Survivor

Posted in Bullshit, Crazy Fuckers, personal thoughts, Popular Culture, reality tv, Television with tags , on November 17, 2008 by Pure Evyl

trailer-park-mansion

I have been a fan of the reality show, Survivor, since it’s first season. But lately it seems to me that the show is getting a little stale. Sure it still has it’s share of douchbags, hotties, nimrods, jerks, and even a nice guy or girl thrown in for variety but there is just so many times that we can see a beautiful tropical paradise without saying, ‘so fucking what.’ I have an idea for updating the series that would add a little zest and real reality to the show. Welcome to Survivor: TrailerBilly.

The contestants would be dropped off at a trailer park at the edge of an urban southern city and be forced to survive the obstacles of meth labs, crack whores, pit bulls, cheap liquor, spam, and shirtless crazy Uncle Jeb.

Contestants would compete in luxury challenges where they could win such comfort items as NASCAR blankets, barbecue grills, a ’77 Trans Am, a Trac Phone with a Dukes of Hazzard ringtone, and other awesome prizes.

Each week after an immunity challenge of such events as distilling corn liquor in an old radiator, the quickest to synthesis an eight ball of crystal meth, escaping a crack whore without paying, escaping crazy shirtless Uncle Jeb without being molested, or the first team to chug a case of PBR without puking, the losing team would go to trailer park counsel.

Jeff Probst would let them know that the bug zapper signifies life in the trailer park. Each team member would curse each other and then vote to evict one member. The evicted member would stand before Jeff as he would unplug their bug zapper and tell the evicted contestant, “The trailer park has spoken. You are the weakest link. Turn in your beer koozie.” Then as some screaming team member yells, ‘Take that sumbitch to jail.’ The contestant would have his or her shirt ripped off and to the tune of, Bad Boy Bad Boy What you gonna do, a Cop right out of Cops would taser them, throw them on the ground and take them to the County Jail where Cell Block C has turned into the Jury House.

Beers and Bikinis

Posted in Advertising, Bullshit, Flatulance, For The Freaks, personal thoughts, Twisted Video with tags , , on November 12, 2008 by Pure Evyl
Push It. Push It Real Good

Push It. Push It Real Good

Beer and Bikini’s are two things that go together like peas and carrots but beware sometimes you might get too much of a good thing.