Archive for the Evyl’s Friends Category

Keep on A’Rollin’ Baby

Posted in Blog Babble, Evyl's Friends, Funky Fiction with tags on June 2, 2009 by Pure Evyl


The awesome Moe kindly allowed me to add my little bit to one of her fabulous rolling stories. She started it off and them passed the story over to Blondie, and then Widdle Shamrock,  and then to Mistress B, and then on to Cris, and then to Anja, and then to Annie. It is a shame that I have to screw up such a great story but I appreciate her confidence and hope she won’t mind me fucking it up to bad. Well, here goes nothing.

He stepped from the plane into the crowded airport, the face of who he was seeking, fixed firmly in his mind.

He had seen it numerous times, but knew, even if it had been revealed only once, it was a face he would never forget.

How could he ever forget the face of the person responsible for the single most painful experience of his life?

The devastation it had created was an event he would not allow himself to forget.

He was driven to not only find her, but make her suffer the way he had. Ensure she experienced the total overwhelming feeling that had been his constant companion for more than 10 years.

The hopelessness, anguish and feeling of loss, all of which kept him awake, or haunted his dreams, turning every night into a tortuous time to be dreaded, in every waking moment…….

Constance sat in the study looking out over the garden. She loved to be in this room. It was just how she had imagined she would have her own room just for her writing, all those years ago. The garden was showing the first signs of spring approaching. There were new buds on all the plants and the winter chill had gone from the air today, so she had happily let Alison play outside.

She was distracted from her writing while watching Alison play in the garden. The child had a wonderful imagination and Constance loved to watch her play. As the sun glistened on Alison’s hair and she poured tea for the teddy bears, Constance wondered how their lives would have turned out if she had made a different decision on that fateful day. For the first time in many years, she let her mind wonder to Alison’s father. Constance had not let herself think about him since that day. As she was thinking about him, she felt a shiver go up her spine and felt a sense of dread that she hadn’t experienced in a long time…

Dermot ran his hand through his hair. He was still a ‘looker’ and he knew it. He felt the glances from women as he walked through the airport to the taxi stand.

“Mmm, Nice eye candy.” he heard a woman mutter quietly to her friend.

He smiled to himself. Nice eye candy indeed. Standing at almost 6ft tall, Dermot had thick, black, wavy hair with tinges of grey. While he was no body builder, he kept himself in good shape. It was his eyes that women loved the most though, his deep, sea blue eyes. Many a woman had gazed into those eyes and fallen prey to his charms. Many a woman had known what it was like to be loved and tossed aside like a broken toy when he had had enough. Dermot hadn’t always been like that, a cruel, hard hearted bastard. There was a time when he loved freely and unashamedly, trusted implicitly. That was before Con….

Dermot shook his head. There was no time for that.

He hailed a cab, and when it pulled up, threw his overnight bag in the back and got in.

“Where to?” the cab driver asked.

Dermot paused. What now? He had waited for this for 10 years, plotted, planned, changed his mind over and over, never letting the flame of revenge die in his heart. He was here now. It was time.

Yes, where to?

He directed the driver to his hotel resisting the impulse to rush the confrontation that he knew was to come, remembering the events that led up to that fateful night that changed all their lives forever.

His mind drifted back in time as he remembered her despair that her husband was slowly drinking himself to death, her grief for the marriage and life that she would never now have. He remembered pulling her close initially to try to calm her weeping but later, oh later………. of holding her closer, much closer than a brother in law should as they sought to affirm the life that they both should have been living .

He remembered the gentleness of her fingers as they explored his muscles, the softness of her silky smooth skin, how she shivered when he kissed her neck, how her body arched beneath his as they took what each needed from the other.

It was the most incredible night he had ever known, he’d never found that kind of satisfaction with another woman since. She’d ruined him for anyone else and he’d never trusted another women again after what she did. Falling in love with his brother’s wife was bad enough and he had hated himself for it but for her to tell James while he was still so vulnerable…….. The bitch killed him!

She shouldn’t have told him, she should have stayed silent and forgotten about that night, that one night that they had turned to each other for comfort after taking James to rehab. If only she hadn’t told him he would never have been drunk at the wheel that night and had a chance of maintaining control of the car on the snow covered mountain road.

She killed James and then she vanished!

He’d been looking for her this whole time. It was time someone held her accountable

Constance sat with a vague sense of unease, watching her daughter. She was struck by the need to go out and grab that beautiful child and run. She could not put her finger on the reason, but the fear began to grow in her. She hadn’t felt this in years. ‘Not since…..No, I will not let my mind go there…it was long ago and I am past it now,’ she thought.

But her mind continued to wander, down, deeper into her memories. All she could remember was the heart shattering loss, feeling like she was spiraling deep into nothingness, emptiness and like her heart had been cut from her.

The sound of the telephone cut through the silence like a chain saw, but Constance was locked deep in her mind, and could not reach out for the phone. At the same time Allison heard the phone ringing from outside and came running into the house. Mommy had just started allowing her to answer the phone on occasion, and if it was still ringing …….she ran to the phone, stopping short when she saw her mom sitting there.

“Mommy, Mommy are you ok?” shouted Allison. The crystal glass shattered against the terrazzo tiles, shocking Constance back into reality. He was behind Allison, close enough to touch her. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes that made her drown in a pool of lust and passion were staring at her daughter. His long fingers were about to touch her hair. Constance was chained to her chair in fright. She knew why he was here. He was here to take away the one thing that was good and beautiful in the world – he was here for Allison. Her mind was in turmoil, her thoughts a myriad of confusion. How could she love a man that had vowed to make her suffer? How could she still feel that warm rush of ecstasy at the thought of him touching her, when she knew he was on a mission to destroy her. He smiled at Allison; that familiar smile he would deliver to her all those years ago. Constance died inside when she heard his voice. The pain cut through her heart when she heard him say,

“Hello, Allison. I have waited a long time to see you. I am your father”

Allison’s large green eyes regarded the tall stranger with distrust. “What’s your name?” she asked.

“Dermott McDawg,” he replied, a smile so oily it could have dressed salad.

“Kermit the Frog?” Allison smirked. “Mummy, what is he doing here? I have a twitter date and I’m going to be late. You told me I never had to meet him. You told me he eats small children for lunch.”

Constance gasped and looked truly surprised and shrugged at Dermott. “I really didn’t…Allison, this is your…”

“Oh knock it off, Mummy – we both know this is the bastard that slept with you and caused me to kill myself on that lonely mountain road.” Allison leveled a rather scary gaze at Dermott. “If it weren’t for you I would still be a virile man sleeping with my hot wife and making babies of our own, instead of having to come back as your love child conducting fake tea parties on the lawn with teddy bears.”

Dermot was speechless, all his plans of vengence fading quickly and being replaced with a sense of fear. “Well, ah, Allison dear…”

“Don’t you dear, me, you rat-bastard waste of space wanker!” Allison stamped her foot and pulled a can of pepper spray from her pretty pink pinafore. Psst. “Take that you lowlife, treacherous wife fucker!”

“My eyes! My eyes!” Dermott cried rubbing them with his fists. He could not see a thing but he felt a sudden chill of fear race his spine when….

He realized that all the years of seeking divine retribution was suddenly regurgitated on his lap. He was the one that caused his brother’s death. He was the one that by one night of pure unadulterated lust pushed his drunken bum of a brother over the edge.

And that is when he realized the truth. His brother, James, was a fucking douchebag. What gave him the right to come back as the child of his night of passion. As he thought about Constance breast feeding this evil spawn from hell, rage filled his soul. Those perfect breasts should have been mine for the suckling.

Even though he could not see the fiend that had sprayed him, he could hear her breathing and he could smell her rancid tea breath. Dermot jumped and grabbed the demon spawn by the throat. Then he heard the distinctive sound of a shell being pumped into a twelve gauge shotgun. He knew that Constance would shoot. But who? The man that she loved and had been robbed of by her drunken bum of a husband or the demon spawn that had stolen the life that belonged to her child?

Now my part is done and it is up to the lovely and talented Cowgal to add her magic.

Sweet Dreams? Fuck That Fuck That

Posted in Dreamscapes, Evyl's Friends, personal thoughts with tags , , on April 10, 2009 by Pure Evyl

Last night I had a pleasant dream. I was back at my old job working with a good friend of mine. We were laughing and joking like old times, making fun of our idiot boss, and just getting the job done. When I awoke I realized that would never happen again.

I helped bury my friend four months ago. Carrying his coffin as one of the pallbearers on a cold and bitter day. I had been his friend since elementary school and laying in my warm comfortable bed, I realized that he was gone. He had fought three different battles with cancer. He beat the first two but the brain tumor was insurmountable.

Give me a nightmare any fucking day. One of those bad dreams that jolts you to life in a cold sweat with a silent scream frozen in your throat; Glad that you are fucking alive and free to carry on another day. Not this pleasant dream bullshit that makes you realize that a part of your life will never be relived except in memory and dreams.

You wish me sweet dreams? I say fuck that.

Fuckin’ Up A Meme: Five Questions

Posted in Blog Babble, Evyl's Friends, Fucking Tags, Fun and Games, personal thoughts with tags on February 8, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I have consented to be interviewed by the lovely and talented Anja. As this is a meme, I will list the rules (like I ever fucking follow them) and then on to answer my five little questions.

The rules for anyone else who wants to be interviewed:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” (you don’t have to be interviewed if you want to comment)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Anja: You’re away on your annual fishing trip with your buddies and you see something caught in weeds. It’s the body of a young girl who has been dead for at least a week. Would you report it immediately? Or would you report the find when you head back in a couple of days?

Evyl: In the modern day, everyone has a cell phone. I would call it in. I would also ask the police officer to let me know the date of the funeral. Perhaps she had a hot older sister or her mother was a MILF and they would be willing to show a little appreciation for my help at bringing closure to their personal tragedy.

Anja: You’re sitting in a diner and the hottest woman on earth sits next to you. She smiles and asks you to follow her to a motel room. It is also your wedding anniversary and your wife will fillet you if you’re late. What do you do?

Evyl: Drew Barrymore is on my list. My wife would understand. It would mean a hit to my pocketbook on jewelry but eventually I could skate by on  this one.

Anja: She’s almost legal age. She’s taking off her top and grabs your hand. What do you do?

Evyl: I work as a Correctional Officer. I see what happens to pedaphiles in prison. There is no way I am going to take a lifetime of getting it up the ass for one night of almost legal sex.

Anja: Your wife promises you a weekend of mind blowing sex, but your buddies have tickets to the sporting event of your choice in corporate seats with free beer. What do you do?

Evyl: It’s according to who my wife has lined up for me to have mind blowing sex with. 😉

Anja: And just for my own curiosity, how old were you when you lost your virginity?

Evyl: As if I can remember that far back. But seriously, I was a late bloomer and was sixteen. I have been a slut ever since.

An Evyl Birthday Greeting

Posted in Evyl's Friends, Theme Music with tags on December 28, 2008 by Pure Evyl

This blog has allowed me to get to know some great people. Through Anonymum, I have been introduced to a whole new world. I am constantly amazed by how much in common, I have with people a world away from Texas. There is one blogger in particular that amazes me by letting it rip and telling it like it is. Tomorrow is her Birthday but since it is tomorrow over yonder. I thought that I would dedicate a little tune to her.

Happy Birthday, Darlin’. I’m not too much on the traditional Birthday song. So here’s a little tune that reminds me of you.

Thanks Coven for letting me know and thanks Anja for being you.

Fuckin’ Up A Meme: To The Letter

Posted in Blog Babble, Evyl's Friends, Fucking Tags, Fun and Games, love and marraige, personal thoughts, Tasteless Poetry, Theme Music with tags , , , , , , on December 15, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I offered myself up as a sacrifice. I read Anja’s great letter meme and stuck my head on the chopping block by saying that I would kick any letters ass. Sure enough Anja gave me a letter from hell. First off here are the cut and pasted rules of the meme and just for the hell of it, I’ll leave the damn thing in purple and write in purple for the rest of the post.

You leave a comment on this post and I’ll assign you a letter.  You write about ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter, and post it at your place.  When people comment on your list, you give them a letter, and the chain continues on and on.

You DO NOT have to do the meme if you only want to comment. Tell me if you want to do it. Otherwise you will not be tagged.

And what letter do ask did I receive; V. Here goes nothing.

  • Vagina – How do I love the let me count the ways. That damned poet had to be talking about vagina. The sight, the smell, the sounds they make, I love it all.
  • Vicodin – I once had a concussion and was given Vicodin for the pain. What little pain that remained after a good dose didn’t make me a fuck. And that is just what I needed after a good jar to the noggin, the ability to not give a flying fuck.
  • Victoria’s Secret – The catalogue of all catalogues.
  • A Victory Fuck – Besides living well it can be the best revenge.
  • Vienna Sausages – I once did an ode to Vienna Sausages. Here is a refresher for those that haven’t seen it.

Late last night, my heart quickened
For the taste of mechanically separated chicken.
To the Cupboard, My quest began
Searching for that meaty goodness in a can.

I do not spot it but I know it’s there.
I continue my search. I do not despair.
Eureka, I spy, Behind the boil-in-bag rice
Beside the salt, pepper, and spice.

I pull back the lid and peer inside.
Joy of Joy my eyes open wide.
The juice is warm and fluid
Not like goo on the corpse of a Druid.

I tip the jar and drink the brine.
Oh the taste, so mighty fine.
Carefully so carefully, I pull out the wiener
Success, one whole piece, it could come out no cleaner.

My snack complete. I’m off to rest.
Perchance to dream, perhaps of breasts.
But just as I start to nod,
Acid Reflux, Oh My God!

  • Visine – Once upon a time, I never left home without it. It gets the red out. Nuff said.
  • Vodka Tonic with a Twist – There’s nothing quite like it. My favorite way to have tater’s.
  • A quick game of VolleyBoobs –  It’s almost as fun as motorboating.
  • Vaughn – As in Stevie Ray Vaughn and I will let the vid do the talking.

  • Voluptuous Women – Just like a good sports car, I like curves. Although to be perfectly honest. Long and lean works also. To be honest I just like women. Just make this v for very much.

Everybody’s Got A Buddy

Posted in Blog Babble, Crazy Fuckers, Evyl's Friends, For The Freaks, Freaks and Friends, From Blogs, Fun and Games, personal thoughts, Sick Twisted Friends with tags on December 14, 2008 by Pure Evyl

 It’s a lazy brown out Sunday here in West Texas and I thought that I would give everyone a heads up on a new blog out there that has a great premise.

This Buddy of Mine  is a blog that takes contributions for buddy stories. Everyone has one. The drunk buddy, the horny buddy, the stupid buddy; buddy stories are endless. I have already contributed one buddy story over there and I have countless others that I can share. I thought that I would post one here, just to give everyone a taste of some of my buddy stories.

Back in my early 20’s, I had a buddy that was all about eating pussy. From the hottest hottie to the scagliest skank, he was all about getting nose deep in the coochie snorcher. One night as I was driving around with my girlfriend of the moment, I noticed my buddy riding around with one of the scagliest skanks that I knew in town. Later that evening after I had dropped off my girlfriend of the moment, I met up with my buddy to drink a few beers and bullshit about the nights festivities. He told me to hop in his car. I hopped in and noticed a particular item in the floorboard. I asked my buddy if he had ate that pussy. He said, ‘Hell yeah, you have to eat that pussy to see if it’s good enough to fuck.’ I then picked up the used tampon off the floorboard and pitched it in his lap and told him that she had left him an after dinner snack.

If you have the time go over to This Buddy Of Mine and read through the buddy stories. There are a lot of good ones. And while you’re there leave a buddy story because really, who can get enough of those.

Freak Of The Week Winner: The Cereal Freak

Posted in Evyl's Friends, For The Freaks, Freaks and Friends, Fun and Games with tags on December 1, 2008 by Pure Evyl

The Contest was a tough call for the Freak Finding Panel of Judges but in the end they gave the nod to the one and only Teeni. This is Teeni’s second win and proves that she is a freak for all seasons. Here is her winning entry for a new cereal marketed to internet free porn viewers.


Now with stray marshmallow pubes.

Thanks Teeni for your great entry and thanks yet again to everyone that entered my humble little contest. Remember if you didn’t win this time then better luck next time, and remember most of all that you are all winning freaks in my eyes. Now everyone go over and congratulate Teeni on being a freak for all seasons. And don’t forget my little ode to the freakishness of the awesome Teeni at the Freak of the Week page.

Fuckin’ Up A Meme: 7 More Things

Posted in Blog Babble, Evyl's Friends, Freaks and Friends, Fucking Tags, Fun and Games, On The Net, personal thoughts, superheroes, Television, Theme Music, Twisted Video with tags , , , , , , on November 30, 2008 by Pure Evyl

One of my newest blogmigos, Wayne John, has tagged  me with the ‘7 Things That You Didn’t Know About Me’ meme. Although I have done this one twice, talking about me is one of my favorite subjects so I can’t resist this one.

  1. My favorite cheese comes in a can. Nacho Cheese is liquid cheese food gold. Without Nacho Cheese, nachos are just a bunch of shit stuck on top of chips. With Nacho Cheese, it is a Tex-Mex delicacy of mythic proportion.
  2. I believe that the theme song to ‘True Blood’ has surpassed the theme song to ‘The Love Boat’ as the greatest television theme song of all time.
  3. When nothing else will relax me, I play The Legend Of Johnny Cash and play Spider Solitaire. After the third song, ‘Folsom Prison Blues’ is over, I am completely relaxed and Spider Solitaire is my bitch.
  4. The first blog that I visit in the day is the Bug Eyed Blog in order to try my hand at Earl’s daily trivia quiz. I’m not a world beater at it but I don’t do to shabby either.
  5. I am one of the few people in the blogosphere that isn’t a writer or thinks they are a writer. When I head to my room to get on the computer, I tell my wife that I am going to fuck off. And that is exactly what the fuck I am doing. And damn ain’t it fun.
  6. I believe that Alex Winter carried Keanu Reeves in ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ and find it a shame that he hasn’t had a bigger career.
  7. I have the ability to say the craziest damn shit with a completely straight face. People never really know if I am kidding or serious. It can make for great entertainment.

Freak Of The Week Winner: The Wet Pussy

Posted in Evyl's Friends, For The Freaks, Freaks and Friends, Fun and Games, LOL's with tags on November 24, 2008 by Pure Evyl

The Freak Finding Panel of Judges were stumped with this weeks contest with so many great entries. But in the end there could be only one.

“My dealer said I couldn’t pay with sex unless I showed up with a freshly-scrubbed pussy”

“My dealer said I couldn’t pay with sex unless I showed up with a freshly-scrubbed pussy”

 Congrats go to Dok Holocaust for his excellent caption. Dok has entered many times and has just missed out on many occasions but this time he was not to be denied.

Once again, I must thank all the great freaks and friends that entered this weeks contest. And if you didn’t win, remember that there is always next week and that you are all winning freaks in my eyes. Now if you could be so kind, go over and wish Dok congratulations and don’t forget to visit the Freak of the Week page and check out my little ode to Dok’s freakishness.