Archive for the famous people Category

Fuck You Haiku: Ode To Grasshopper

Posted in Crazy Fuckers, famous people, Haikus, In The News, Tasteless Poetry with tags on June 13, 2009 by Pure Evyl

Some lessons cum hard

Choke your chicken not your neck

Goodbye Grasshopper

Freak Of The Week Winner: Celebrity Freak

Posted in famous people, For The Freaks, Fun and Games with tags on February 2, 2009 by Pure Evyl

As always it was a tough call for the Freak Finding Panel of Judges, but in the end there can be only one. So here is this weeks winning entry.


Shirley Jones. Let’s see, she played the mother figure on the Partridge Family, a show in which her character, a single mother, was having an affair with her manager who was forcing her children to preform in a freak show of a band, and all the time her oldest children were going at each other like minks in heat, the red headed kid was being groomed for a life in organized crime, and the youngest tots were obviously destined to be cult members. Also, judging by the paint job on their tour bus, the whole family was spooning LSD on their corn flakes in the morning like it was sugar. Any actress who can pull that role off and still come across as America’s favorite mom is definitely a freak.

Congrats to the Grit for another outstanding entry and a repeat Freak of the Week. And while everyone is out congratulating the Grit on his Freakishness don’t forget to check out my little ode to the winner on the Freak of the Week page.

Freak of the Week: The Celebrity Freak

Posted in famous people, For The Freaks, Fun and Games with tags on January 29, 2009 by Pure Evyl

Yes my good freaks and friends it is once again time to crown a new Freak. The highly sought after title is once again up for grabs. This week your assignment should you choose to accept it is to name the freakiest celebrity of them all. Just choose your celebrity and give a brief description of why they are truly deserving of the Celebrity Freak title. The celebrity and description deemed the freakiest by the Freak Finding Panel of Judges will attain the most lauded title in the entire blogosphere.

Good luck and may the freak be with you.

Wouldn’t You Like To Be My Neighbor

Posted in Blog Babble, Bullshit, famous people, Fun and Games with tags on January 4, 2009 by Pure Evyl

Zillow Blog, a real estate company’s blog, recently conducted a poll on who would make the worst and best celebrity neighbors. Sarah Palin was voted the most desired celebrity neighbor while Britney Spears was voted the least favorite.

I really can’t agree with those findings. So, I thought that I would do a little informal poll of my own. Here’s a short list of some celebrities, just pick the celebrity that you would most like to have as your neighbor.

Makin’ It Long

Posted in famous people, Fun and Games, movie reviews, On The Net with tags , , , , , , , on December 27, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I had a dream last night that was even weird for me. I was sent to pose nude for an art class with an overweight midget girl. Before the posing was to start, the instructor asked me if I would like to watch a movie in order to make my dick long. She didn’t say hard, she said long. I said sure if that’s what you want and she led me to a video room with a lot of 80’s movies. No porn just movies from the 80’s. I woke shortly thereafter so I didn’t get to see what movie that I picked or if that movie made my dick any longer or even how the art came out. It left me wondering as I awoke just what movies from the 80’s would make my dick long. (Cue the list.)

  • Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back – I know typical huh? But how can any male resist the effect of Princess Leia in her slave girl bikini? It damn sure ain’t me. It’s amazing how much better she looks without those cinnamon buns on the side of her noggin.


  • Blame It On Rio – Sure the movie sucked but Michelle Johnson had the most remarkable breasts ever seen in a Michael Caine movie. Her breasts were so incredible that it should have been against the law for her to wear a shirt. She made Demi Moore look flat chested and that is quite a feat.


  • Cat People – Another movie that sucked but watching Nastassja Kinski prance around naked more than made up for that. What she lacks in large breasts she more than makes up for with a great ass and when she speaks her accent makes me freakin’ melt. When this movie came out, I remember watching it on HBO with a bunch of my redneck buddies. One of my buddies stated that she just needed a good ol fashioned country fuckin’. Now that’s some words of wisdom. And the fact that you have to tie her up beforehand so she doesn’t rip your face off after she gets her cookies really spice things up.


  • Mannequin – It’s like a guys favorite blow up doll comes to life and it’s Kim Cattrall. And the fact that she has aged so well is one hell of a bonus.



Now there are a lot of movies from the 80’s that could also be on the list such as Risky Business but if anyone includes Tootsie on their list, I’d really wonder.


Daytime Observations

Posted in Advertising, Crazy Fuckers, famous people, Food, personal thoughts, Popular Culture, Prison, Television with tags , , , , on December 26, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Being on vacation this week, in between Christmas shopping and entertaining my three year old granddaughter. I managed to catch a little daytime tv. Here are just a few observations.

  • The Today Show (After Today Show or whatever the fuck they call it) with Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford would make for a decent sit-com about a dysfunctional lesbian couple.
  • I do believe that Tyra’s boobs have grown.
  • Billy Mays may not be the anti-christ but he as about as close as you can find as seen on TV.
  • Someone must have pulled the stick out of Martha Stewart’s ass when she was in prison. And what’s with that ‘Whatever Martha’ show. Damn that’s cool and she actually produces the show that pokes fun at her.
  • If paparazzi tv could actually show the nip slips and crotch shots then it might actually be worth watching. Otherwise it’s just bullshit.
  • Even though Rachel Ray is annoying and has seemed to chunk up a bit. I’d still let her lick my spoon.
  • Combining the last two observations, a nip slip cooking show would really be Good Eats.

Now That's A 30 Minute Meal!!!

Now That's A 30 Minute Meal!!!

Merry Christmas Bettie Wherever You Are

Posted in famous people, Holidays, In The News, Thanks with tags , on December 12, 2008 by Pure Evyl


Bettie Page: “I don’t know what they mean by an icon. I never thought of myself as being that. It seems strange to me. I was just modeling, thinking of as many different poses as possible.”

More than an icon, Bettie Page is a legend of unsurpassed beauty and confident sexuality. Her image shall never fade. Goodbye Bettie.

Give Me Some Leftovers

Posted in Crazy Fuckers, famous people, In The News, On The Net, personal thoughts, Popular Culture, sports stuff with tags , , on December 6, 2008 by Pure Evyl
Leftovers Don't Look Like That In My Fridge.

Leftovers Don't Look Like That In My Fridge.

It seems that Sean Avery of the NHL has been suspended over a comment made about his ex Elisha Cuthbert. I guess that he’s pissed that she dumped him for another hockey player.

And really who could blame him. Elisha’s portrayal of Danielle in ‘The Girl Next Door’ certainly made me wish that a porn-star would move in and be my neighbor. Hell, I would have walked around singing Mr. Rogers theme song all fucking day if she moved next door.

I am glad however that real jobs aren’t like playing in a professional sports league. If I were suspended every time that I disparaged an ex-girlfriend, I wouldn’t have got in a full weeks work until I was in my early 30’s.

Here is the quote of what he said, “I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada,” Avery said. “I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about. Enjoy the game tonight.”

Damn, I don’t know but that sounds really tame to me. I can think of many things that he could have said more disparaging about an ex-girlfriend and/or her new boyfriend. Such as:

  • I’d like to ask him how my dick tastes every time he kisses her.
  • They have a lot in common. Her pussy is like wet toilet paper. When it gets wet it just falls apart. And he’s an asswipe.
  • They should get along great. They both suck hard.

If he ever feels like spouting off he should use a similar line. If you are going to get suspended for something, you should really make it worth your while.

For the full story click here.

Marcia Brady Was A Crack Ho

Posted in Bullshit, famous people, In The News, Popular Culture with tags , , on October 14, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I read that Maureen McCormick has penned a memoir. In it she details various relationships and also has quite a bit to write about her addictions. Supposedly she also details an incident where she traded sexual favors for drugs. Marcia Brady was a Crack Ho. While this has taken many people by surprise, I was not in the least shocked. There were various episodes that clearly pinpointed the fact that Marcia Brady was a Crack Ho.

  • The episode where Marcia has a prom date with Davy Jones: Everyone knows that Davy Jones was one smooth pimpin’ motherfucker.
  • The episode where Marcia breaks her nose: Sure they said it was a football that broke her nose but by the marks you can tell that it was a vicious pimp slap.
  • The episode where Cindy loses her doll: I don’t care what they want us to believe, Marcia hocked the doll for crack.
  • The episode where the Brady kids enter a talent contest to win money for an anniversary present: If you look carefully you can tell that a porno was being shot in the dressing room. Why else would Ron Jeremy make a cameo?
  • The episode where Bobby and Cindy tried to break the Worlds Record for Teeter Totter: They broke into Marcia’s stash. Why the fuck else would they do that?

I am sure that their were other signs as well. But one fact remains. Marcia Brady was a Crack Ho!!!