Evyl Philosiphizin’: To Fuck Or To Get Fucked

I believe that everyone fits into three main categories of personality. Those who love to fuck, those that love to get fucked, and those that just don’t give a fuck about a fuck. As for me, I am a fucker. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy just laying back and taking it like a man on occasion. But when it comes right down to the nut cuttin’, I like to be the one whippin’ and spurrin’.

As a little bit of unscientific bullshittery research, here are a couple of polls. One for the dudes and one for the darlin’s. Vote early and vote often because inquiring minds want to know.

Freak Of The Week Winner: Celebrity Freak

As always it was a tough call for the Freak Finding Panel of Judges, but in the end there can be only one. So here is this weeks winning entry.

Shirley Jones. Let’s see, she played the mother figure on the Partridge Family, a show in which her character, a single mother, was having an affair with her manager who was forcing her children to preform in a freak show of a band, and all the time her oldest children were going at each other like minks in heat, the red headed kid was being groomed for a life in organized crime, and the youngest tots were obviously destined to be cult members. Also, judging by the paint job on their tour bus, the whole family was spooning LSD on their corn flakes in the morning like it was sugar. Any actress who can pull that role off and still come across as America’s favorite mom is definitely a freak.

Congrats to the Grit for another outstanding entry and a repeat Freak of the Week. And while everyone is out congratulating the Grit on his Freakishness don’t forget to check out my little ode to the winner on the Freak of the Week page.

Freak of the Week: The Celebrity Freak

Yes my good freaks and friends it is once again time to crown a new Freak. The highly sought after title is once again up for grabs. This week your assignment should you choose to accept it is to name the freakiest celebrity of them all. Just choose your celebrity and give a brief description of why they are truly deserving of the Celebrity Freak title. The celebrity and description deemed the freakiest by the Freak Finding Panel of Judges will attain the most lauded title in the entire blogosphere.

Good luck and may the freak be with you.

Freak Of The Week Winner: The Aditional Freak

The time has come to crown the Newest Freak of the Week. This week was particularly tough for the Freak Finding Panel of Judges but in the end there could be only one.  Here is this weeks winning entry.

Lots Of Love.com - “It wont matter that you have a small dick”

Congratulations Java Queen for your winning entry. You are truly deserving. And a special thanks to everyone for playing along. Remember you are all winning freaks in my eyes.

Now what are you waiting for? Go and congratulate Java Queen for her great entry and don’t forget to check out my ode to the winner on the Freak of the Week page.

A special shout out to The Grit. One of the Judges wished to give you a special acknowledgement for your entry of, “When the loving is over, it doubles as a walk in closet.” We are still trying to get this judge from going into fits of uncontrollable giggling.

Freak Of The Week: Ading It Up

Yes my good freaks and friends, it is once again time for the most anticipated weekly contest in the entire blogosphere. It’s time to crown a new Freak of the Week. This week you are an advertising executive for the Evyl Advertising Agency. It is your job to create a tag-line for a new on-line dating service. The service is geared towards men seeking to hook up with large women. The name of the service is lotsoflovedotcom. The ad photo has been chosen and it is up to you to create the tag-line.

Here is the ad photo for you to work with.

Good luck and may the freakiest freak win!!!

I’ll Buy That For A Dollar

It seems that a 22 year old hottie from Nevada has put her virginity up to the highest bidder. Fox News reports that the highest bid so far is 3.7 million dollars. I’m all for the free market system but I do think that this shows how screwed up things are. There is no fucking way that I am going to pay that kind of money to someone that doesn’t even know what the fuck she is doing.

I don’t know what piece of ass would be worth that much money for one roll in the hay but I guarenfuckintee that she better know the ropes well enough to get a merit badge in fucking.

Thanks Steve for making me aware of this news.

Freak Of The Week Winner: Meet Me With Your Beer Goggles On

Once again The Freak Finding Panel of Judges had one motherfuckin’ hellacious time deciding on a winner. There were so many great entries and although many had winning parts to the entry, One entry reigned supreme. Here are the winning captions for each pic. And the winning Freak with the best overall entry will be crowned at the end.

Picture 1 – Murder Of Ravens

Jimmy is about to learn the hard way what it means to be someone’s bitch.

Picture 2 – Dok Holocaust

while Sally was mildly surprised to see that someone else had worn the same gown to the dinner party, she was greatly relieved to discover that they were forty years her senior.

Picture 3 – Michael

“Shit my pants, tossed my cookies, suction-cupped my nasty beaver to the floor. My work is done here. Honey? Bring me the shoehorn . . . ”

And the drumroll please, the overall winner and this weeks Freak Of The Week…….Michael from Smoke and Mirrors. Michael has been a loyal Freak of the Week contestant. From the outset, he has been in the thick of the battle and this week, he finally he claimed victory.

My thanks to everyone that entered this week’s contest and a special hat’s off to Smith and Dok for their great entries but in the end there can be only one. Don’t forget to check my little ode to this weeks winner on the Freak of the Week page and please go and congratulate Michael on his long awaited victory.  And remember most importantly of all, you are all winning freaks in my eyes.

Freak Of The Week: Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beerholder

Hell’s Yeah, freaks and friends it is once again time for the contest that has the entire blogosphere standing at attention. It is time to find the Freak of the Week. This week you have a series of three pictures to caption. The freak with the best combination of captions deemed the freakiest by the Freak Finding Panel of Judges will have a lifetime of notoriety as this weeks Freak of the Week. Good Luck and may the freak be with you.

Picture 1

Picture 2

Picture 3

Freak Of The Week Winner: Fucked Up That Meme

As always the Freak Finding Panel of Judges had one hell of a tough time picking the Freakiest Freak Of The Week. But in the end, the decision was made due to the entire panel’s wanting to see Keanu Reeves stabbed with a spork. Yes the Freak left standing was the lovely and talented MJ. Congrats MJ for your great entry. And whomp here it is.

Ronald Reagan’s corpse – because that would be awesome.
Keanu Reeves – because he’s a horrible actor, and I want to poke him to death with a spork. Then maybe he would show some emotion…
Harrison Ford – because I want to make sweet, sweet love to that hot, old man.

Musical guest:
The Dropkick Murphys, singing “Kiss Me, I’m Shit-faced”

Hopefully everyone can go and congratulate MJ at Note to Self on being this weeks Winning Freak. And while you are at it, you can catch my ode to the winner at the Freak of the Week page.

My thanks go out to all the entrants of this weeks contest and remember you are all winning freaks in my eyes. Better luck next week to one and all.