Archive for the Holidays Category

Aargh!!! Now Thar’s A Holiday

Posted in Crazy Fuckers, crime and punishment, Holidays, Life's Questions with tags on April 13, 2009 by Pure Evyl

In light of recent events, I wonder if September 19 will be changed from International Talk Like A Pirate Day to International Moan, Bleed, Flop, and Die Like A Pirate Day?

Little Known Easter Traditions

Posted in Bullshit, Holidays with tags on April 11, 2009 by Pure Evyl

Today while out and about, I came across a parking lot to a local church that was filled with motorcycles. I had heard of most of the religous traditions leading up to Easter Sunday. Days such as Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and Good Friday but I had never heard of Biker Saturday. I wonder what kind of new traditions they will pick for Monday and Thursday?

The Balls Have Dropped

Posted in Freaks and Friends, Holidays with tags on January 1, 2009 by Pure Evyl

happynewyears2

Hells Yeah 2008 is fuckin’ history! Here’s to a Freaky ’09.

A Crack Ho Christmas Carol

Posted in Funky Fiction, Holidays with tags on December 24, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Maggie leaned against the graffiti smudged concrete wall and inhaled deeply of the glass pipe. Not even the jolt of ice coming from the pipe seemed to liven her up. It was Christmas Eve but still she waited for some semblance of the Christmas spirit to enter her. Her last trick had left her even colder.

A wine sodden Mall Santa had slipped his ‘North Pole’ up her rear chimney while uttering ‘Ho, Ho, Ho’ behind the trash dumpster outside the Great American Cookie Company.  Oh well, it’s better than sucking a bell ringers candy cane, she thought to herself. Those guys fishing through the kettle to pay her off always made her feel sad.

Another hit off of the pipe and Maggie thought through the haze. She ventured back to a time when she was a fresh faced girl new to the game. Standing on a street corner, gathered around a burning trash can,  surrounded by fellow crack-whores and sipping Mad Dog 20/20 straight out of the bottle wrapped in a crisp brown paper bag. Their pimp, Big Daddy J, had pulled up in his pink Cadillac El Dorado and given each of them a fur lined crotchless panty to protect their assets on the cold winter nights.

Although that was only two years ago, it seemed like a lifetime to Maggie. Just one more hit left on the rock. She drew it in slowly and headed out. She managed a wan smile as she departed saying to herself, ‘It’s tricks for tips not toys for tots.’

My Kind Of Christmas

Posted in Holidays, Theme Music with tags , on December 23, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I could not let this season slip by without sharing my favorite Christmas tune.

Merry Metal Christmas

Posted in Fun and Games, Holidays, Theme Music, Twisted Video with tags on December 20, 2008 by Pure Evyl

When it comes to Christmas music, it’s hard to beat the standards.

Twisted Holiday Carol: Oh Christmas Porn

Posted in Holidays, Tasteless Poetry with tags on December 17, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I Don't Think It's Sleighbells Jingling

I Don't Think It's Sleighbells Jingling

O Christmas Porn, O Christmas Porn,
You put the ho in holidays!
O Christmas Porn, O Christmas Porn,
You put the ho in holidays!
O Christmas Porn, O Christmas Porn,
Santa’s fist up Prancer’s ass,
While the elves gang-bang a barely legal lass;
O Christmas Porn, O Christmas Porn,
You put the ho in holidays.