Archive for the love and marraige Category

Ya Know

Posted in Advice and Guidance, For The Freaks, love and marraige, personal thoughts with tags on July 29, 2009 by Pure Evyl

Ya know it is fucking hot when you bang your old lady on your side of the bed just so that you can have a cool wet place to sleep.

Life’s Too Short

Posted in Advice and Guidance, Crazy Fuckers, Happiness, love and marraige on April 5, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I found out yesterday that one of my co-workers and his wife are involved in an alternate lifestyle. Frankly I was quite shocked. Not that they would want to be swingers but due to the fact that I think both of them are highly lucky that they found one person that would fuck them. It seems that finding someone else that would fuck either of them would be highly unlikely. I guess it proves what I always say, ‘It’s a sick world and I’m a Happy Man and Life’s too short too swing with ugly people.

All Shock No Ahh

Posted in love and marraige, personal thoughts with tags on January 25, 2009 by Pure Evyl


For some reason my wife is really electrifying these days. I don’t know if it is some latent superpower coming out in her or what but she picks up static electricity like a kindergartner picks their nose. Yesterday she came up to give me a kiss and it burnt a blister on my lip. I am somewhat thankful that she has developed this power now and not in the first days of our relationship or else that first peck might have crisped my cock.

A special thanks to This Buddy Of Mine for the great poster.

Sunday Tuneage

Posted in love and marraige with tags on January 11, 2009 by Pure Evyl

These lyrics have been stuck in my head this weekend. Might as well roll with it.

Freak Of The Week Winner: The Down Home Holiday Freak

Posted in For The Freaks, Freaks and Friends, Fun and Games, love and marraige with tags on December 22, 2008 by Pure Evyl

This week a truly unprecedented thing happened. The Freak Finding Panel of Judges was held hostage. Yes, my wife held the judges hostage and demanded certain concessions. One was that she be named Freak of the Week. The others, I will not get into here. Suffice it to say that both my pride and injuries will heal. Here is her winning entry.

Re-gifting again? Couldn't you just get me a gift card?

Re-gifting again? Couldn't you just get me a gift card?

You can head over to the Freak of the Week page to offer Mrs. Evyl congratulations and thanks once again to each and every one of you that entered my little contest this year. If you didn’t win this time around better luck next year and remember that you’re all winning freaks in my eyes.

Fuckin’ Up A Meme: To The Letter

Posted in Blog Babble, Evyl's Friends, Fucking Tags, Fun and Games, love and marraige, personal thoughts, Tasteless Poetry, Theme Music with tags , , , , , , on December 15, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I offered myself up as a sacrifice. I read Anja’s great letter meme and stuck my head on the chopping block by saying that I would kick any letters ass. Sure enough Anja gave me a letter from hell. First off here are the cut and pasted rules of the meme and just for the hell of it, I’ll leave the damn thing in purple and write in purple for the rest of the post.

You leave a comment on this post and I’ll assign you a letter.  You write about ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter, and post it at your place.  When people comment on your list, you give them a letter, and the chain continues on and on.

You DO NOT have to do the meme if you only want to comment. Tell me if you want to do it. Otherwise you will not be tagged.

And what letter do ask did I receive; V. Here goes nothing.

  • Vagina – How do I love the let me count the ways. That damned poet had to be talking about vagina. The sight, the smell, the sounds they make, I love it all.
  • Vicodin – I once had a concussion and was given Vicodin for the pain. What little pain that remained after a good dose didn’t make me a fuck. And that is just what I needed after a good jar to the noggin, the ability to not give a flying fuck.
  • Victoria’s Secret – The catalogue of all catalogues.
  • A Victory Fuck – Besides living well it can be the best revenge.
  • Vienna Sausages – I once did an ode to Vienna Sausages. Here is a refresher for those that haven’t seen it.

Late last night, my heart quickened
For the taste of mechanically separated chicken.
To the Cupboard, My quest began
Searching for that meaty goodness in a can.

I do not spot it but I know it’s there.
I continue my search. I do not despair.
Eureka, I spy, Behind the boil-in-bag rice
Beside the salt, pepper, and spice.

I pull back the lid and peer inside.
Joy of Joy my eyes open wide.
The juice is warm and fluid
Not like goo on the corpse of a Druid.

I tip the jar and drink the brine.
Oh the taste, so mighty fine.
Carefully so carefully, I pull out the wiener
Success, one whole piece, it could come out no cleaner.

My snack complete. I’m off to rest.
Perchance to dream, perhaps of breasts.
But just as I start to nod,
Acid Reflux, Oh My God!

  • Visine – Once upon a time, I never left home without it. It gets the red out. Nuff said.
  • Vodka Tonic with a Twist – There’s nothing quite like it. My favorite way to have tater’s.
  • A quick game of VolleyBoobs –  It’s almost as fun as motorboating.
  • Vaughn – As in Stevie Ray Vaughn and I will let the vid do the talking.

  • Voluptuous Women – Just like a good sports car, I like curves. Although to be perfectly honest. Long and lean works also. To be honest I just like women. Just make this v for very much.

I Just Don’t Get It

Posted in Advertising, Life's Questions, love and marraige, personal thoughts, Popular Culture with tags , , , , , , on November 30, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Frankly, I just don’t get this commercial. I find it hard to believe that Charlie Sheen would idol worship Michael Jordan. Sure Jordan is arguably the greatest basketball player ever but come on let’s get real. Not only was Charlie Sheen married to the super hot Denise Richards, he also screwed some of the finest women that money could buy, courtesy of Heidi Fleiss. And another thing that part at the end where Sheen throws his cell phone and says, ‘Call me, my numbers in there.’ What kind of idiot would look through Charlie Sheen’s cell phone and have time to call his number? As for me, I’d be calling up his ex!

Wait Til I Get My Hanes On You

Wait Til I Get My Hanes On You

Hosed By A Dream

Posted in love and marraige, personal thoughts, Rants with tags on November 25, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Last night I dreamt that my wife busted me for having an affair. What a fucked up dream. The worst part is that I haven’t had an affair and had not even had a recent dream of having an affair. If a person has a fucked up dream about getting busted for getting a strange piece of ass without even virtually getting a strange piece of ass, then their sub-conscience is just plain ass hosing them. Hopefully if I have that dream again tonight, it will come with flashbacks of some really freaky sex scenes. Well, good night folks and sweet dreams.

Twisted Poetry: Episode XIII

Posted in Bullshit, For The Freaks, love and marraige, Tasteless Poetry with tags on August 20, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained

I love you in the nighttime and I love you in the morn.

My love for you is thicker than the splooge on a facial in bukake porn.

I love you in the dawn and I love you at dusk

My love for you is thicker than my under scrotum musk.

I will love you until the day you find me dead

If you love me too then how about some head.

I penned these words of love while my darling bride slept.

I read them to myself and my heart wept.

I placed them on her pillow as I left on my merry way

Hoping that on my return I would score a sweet bj.

I returned in the evening with a smile upon my face

But just one look at my lovely wife and my smile was soon erased.

I knew a blow job was out of the question with a catch in my throat

When she simply stated, ‘Bastard, why don’t you go fuck a goat.’

So listen close and take my heed

Save the poetry and just do the deed.