Archive for the Love Category

Point of Order: #69

Posted in crime and punishment, Life's Questions, Love, On the Job, Prison with tags on June 4, 2009 by Pure Evyl

If a male inmate is caught having sex with a female officer in a walk-in freezer can the inmate be charged with assault?

After all, he cold-cocked the bitch.

Minty Fresh My Ass

Posted in For The Freaks, Happiness, Love, personal thoughts with tags , , on November 10, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I was grocery shopping this weekend and something caught my eye that really made me call bullshit. It seems that someone has came up with a scented toothbrush. I scratched the little scratch-and-sniff patch and it smelled like toothpaste. Well actually it smelled like mint but since 98% of toothpaste is mint flavored to me it just smelled like toothpaste. Why in the fuck anyone would buy a toothpaste flavored toothbrush is beyond me. Is it for people too cheap to buy toothpaste? If so wouldn’t they be too cheap to pay extra for flavor?

I can think of only one scented toothbrush that I would buy and that’s Pussy. I think that a pussy scented toothbrush would be fucking awesome. And not just one pussy scent but a plethora of different scented pussy. Every morning you could go to work and breath on co-workers and they would think that you are one rug-munchin’ motherfucker. One day they would tell you, ‘Man that is some sweet smellin’ pussy’, the next day they could say, ‘Damn dude that is some spicy pussy’, and another day they could say, ‘Fuck Dude that is some funky assed pussy’ and to that you could say, ‘Hells Yeah, You have to eat that pussy to see if it’s good enough to fuck.’

It would also be handy when coming out of a bar. Just brush your teeth with a pussy scented toothbrush. When a cop pulls you over and smells your breath, he is not going to ask you how much you have had to drink, he is going to ask you about that sweet smelling pussy.

Now if they will just put KittyCrest on the market.

Twisted Poetry: Episode XII

Posted in Happiness, Love, Tasteless Poetry with tags on August 17, 2008 by Pure Evyl

If It Makes You Happy

I wish that I could swallow your pain deep inside

Filter it through my testicles of joy

And blow happiness down your throat.

Twisted Poetry: Episode XI

Posted in Evyl's Friends, Freaks and Friends, In The News, Life's Questions, Love, Popular Culture, Sick Twisted Friends, Tasteless Poetry with tags on August 16, 2008 by Pure Evyl

He Walks In Hairy Splendor

Quietly she awaits at the back door

Gazing upon the dark shadowy fen

Would he think her a slut or perhaps whore

For her waiting here in the air so thin.

So large and handsome and so big and bold

More than just a mere weak and mortal man

Smelling of manly musk and furry mold

Like forest floor and a used sardine can.

His love was more than she could ever wish

Hands and feet so rough but a heart so soft

A forest primordial modern dish

He placed her upon a pedestal loft

Alas, With feet so big and cock so long

She choked on a three foot pube sucking his shlong.

This post is dedicated to the brave and fearless blogger, Weirdgirl. Check out this post to see what the hell I am talking about. And no pervs she isn’t the one blowing Sasquatch. 

Evyl Thoughts: Thinking Big

Posted in For The Freaks, Love, personal thoughts with tags on August 11, 2008 by Pure Evyl

If a chubby chaser’s girlfriend went on a diet and lost a lot of weight, could he fuck her and think of the big woman that she once was or would he have to dump her?

Cock-A-Doodle-Dildo

Posted in For The Freaks, LOL's, Love with tags , , on July 25, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I’ve heard of a cock sock but this is just fucking ridiculous.

Look Ma No Hands

Posted in For The Freaks, Fun and Games, Happiness, Love, sports stuff, Twisted Video with tags , on July 22, 2008 by Pure Evyl