Archive for Here I Is

Fuckin’ Up A Meme: 4’s

Posted in Evyl's Friends, From Blogs, Fucking Tags, Fun and Games with tags on September 24, 2008 by Pure Evyl

The lovely and talented MJ has tagged me with the 4’s meme. It’s been awhile since I fucked up a meme, so here it goes.

4 Things I Did Today

  • During a disciplinary hearing, I handed an inmate a Kleenex because he was crying like a baby over being in the hole, to prove I had a heart. Then I sentenced him to the maximum time allowed for the offence in the hole to prove that I don’t have a heart.
  • Woke up before the alarm clock rang. Damn I hate it when that happens.
  • Put an inmate on the wall and strongly ‘advised’ him in the proper procedure for pulling his fucking head out of his damned ass.
  • Chewed Nicorette Gum until my jaws hurt.

4 Things On My To Do List

  • Tear out the radio in my wife’s car and stop all form of news from reaching her ear. KC and the Sunshine Band are coming to a nearby city and I know she will give me unmitigated hell if I don’t take her. Disco fucking sucked back then and now I would imagine that if these fuckers shake, shake, shake their fucking booty then they will break, break, break a fucking hip.
  • Hire a midget stripper for my brothers bachelor party.
  • Continue training for a spot in a professional Spider Solitaire Tournament.
  • Supplant He-Man as the Master of the Universe.

4 of My Guiltiest Pleasures

  • Getting shit faced and listening to REO Speedwagon while yelling PUSSY to the speakers.
  • Barbacoa. Damn do I love that shit. Nothing like a good chunk of cow head to start the day off right.
  • Two Words: Free Porn!!!
  • Shiner Bock. It is truly the nectar of the gods.

4 Random Facts About Me

  • I am a grandfather and my granddaughter calls me Pops. My wife is dying for another grandchild because our granddaughter ignores everyone but me when I am around.
  • Most people are scared of me until they get to know me and then to know me is to love me. Don’t believe it, just ask me.  
  • I am a hellicious cook. From barbecue to baking and all kinds of dishes in between, I kick some ass. Except gravy, I can’t cook gravy to save my fucking life.
  • Here is the only picture that I will allow of myself to be posted on the internet. I posted it on another blog back in ’06 and will never allow another to be posted. I haven’t changed a whole lot except for completely shaving my noggin and my goatee.