Archive for It’s The Drugs I Swear

Space Splooge

Posted in Fun and Games, Tasteless Toons with tags on August 21, 2008 by Pure Evyl

One reason why sci-fi porn is so tough to make.

Twisted Poetry: Episode XIII

Posted in Bullshit, For The Freaks, love and marraige, Tasteless Poetry with tags on August 20, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained

I love you in the nighttime and I love you in the morn.

My love for you is thicker than the splooge on a facial in bukake porn.

I love you in the dawn and I love you at dusk

My love for you is thicker than my under scrotum musk.

I will love you until the day you find me dead

If you love me too then how about some head.

I penned these words of love while my darling bride slept.

I read them to myself and my heart wept.

I placed them on her pillow as I left on my merry way

Hoping that on my return I would score a sweet bj.

I returned in the evening with a smile upon my face

But just one look at my lovely wife and my smile was soon erased.

I knew a blow job was out of the question with a catch in my throat

When she simply stated, ‘Bastard, why don’t you go fuck a goat.’

So listen close and take my heed

Save the poetry and just do the deed.

Twisted Fables: The Voodoo Queen

Posted in Bullshit, For The Freaks, Fun and Games with tags on August 20, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Not so long ago in the swamps of the Louisiana Bayou, there lived a Voodoo Queen. Through the night she would intone spells over a bubbling cauldron. Any man venturing too close to her boggy lair would become ensnared by her mesmerizing spells. The men then found themselves to be the sexual slaves of the Voodoo Queen. After having her way with the men, the Voodoo Queen would soon grow bored with them. She would then perform a dark incantation that engorged their penis’s and then kill them. The penis was then cut off and preserved in a jar of preserving brine along with a tarot card. The magical properties of the tarot card kept the penis engorged and hard.

One day the Voodoo Queen used her last tarot card on a hapless victim. The evil Voodoo Queen then threw back her head and laughed a sinister laugh for at last her mission was accomplished. She had the pick of a pack of pickled peckers.

Warning: It Could Be The Drugs

Posted in Blog Babble, Medical, personal thoughts with tags on August 18, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I had been feeling more and more like dog-shit through the weekend. Today I left work early and went to the clinic. It seems that I have an upper respiratory infection. I got a shot in the hip and a prescription for an antibiotic. When the doc went to prescribe me a cough suppressant, she started writing down those damn pearl cough pills. I let her know that those pills are like freakin’ tic-tac’s and do not do a thing for my cough. Low and behold she relented and prescribed me a kick ass cough syrup. (Codeine and Promethazine)

SomeĀ of the side effects of this lovely elixer are confusion, agitation, hallucinations, and unusual thought or behavior. So if in the next few days some of my posts or comments leave you wondering, it’s the drugs. That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

Most likely even if I exhibit these side effects no one will notice. They pretty much describe my usual style.