Archive for the hole

Just Another Day At The Office

Posted in Crazy Fuckers, crime and punishment, Life's Questions, Prison with tags , on April 30, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Today, I ran a disciplinary hearing on an offender that has been a total shitstick from the moment that he came on the unit. It seems that he had finally crossed the line and was facing three separate charges. One for trafficking and trading, and two separate charges of threatening an officer. Assisting me in the disciplinary hearing was the Chief of Classification, and the Sergeant in charge of training.

The offender pled not guilty to all charges and then in a meandering statement gave himself up as guilty. The offender was escorted outside for the committee to deliberate the case. In short order he was found guilty of all three charges and in even shorter order the penalty of thirty days in the hole was agreed upon.

When he came back before the committee and advised of the outcome, he asked us how we could sleep at night?

My reply was simply, ‘Like a baby.’ The quick thinking Sergeant instantly added, ‘In the free world.’


Posted in Advice and Guidance, Crazy Fuckers, crime and punishment, Happiness, personal thoughts, Prison with tags , , on April 22, 2008 by Pure Evyl

Today an inmate in the Disciplinary Segregation Tank, the hole, placed a sign on his window stating,’I am not gay anymore. I am not going to hell.’ Evidently this individual had been taking some grief from the other inmates in the adjacent cells for his very vocal affirmations of his homosexuality and was hoping to alleviate the harassment.

It fell upon me to go down to the hole and tell this inmate that it was against policy to hang signs or any other item that would obscure the vision of the Segregation Officer into the cell and advice him that he would receive another disciplinary write up if he were to put up another sign. He complied and said that he would not put up another sign in the future.

Now, I do not consider myself to be homophobic in the least nor do I claim any great knowledge of the workings of the human psyche but it is my opinion that this inmate is a classic self loather and just plainĀ deceiving himself.

Ā In the first place I am of the opinion that once a guy has sucked a cock, he is a cocksucker. Plain and simple, one does not turn his gayness on and off. Much like an alcoholic, if a person is an alcoholic, they can recover and stay away from alcohol, but one drink could push them over the edge to revert to being a drunk or one cock could just push the ex-cocksucker into a full blown cock sucking ass bandit.

In the second place, my parents taught me that anything worth doing is worth doing well. Don’t ever do anything half-ass and if you do that then you can hold your head up high and be proud. My advice to this young man is don’t be a self-loather, if you are going to suck a cock be the best damned cocksucker that you can be. When someone else states, ‘That guy is a cocksucker’, the man standing next to him should be able to state, ‘Hell yeah, that motherfucker is the best goddamned cocksucker, I have ever seen. He could suck a fucking golf ball through fifty feet of motherfucking garden hose.’ Do what you love and love what you do, even if it’s sucking cock.