Oh What A Night


Last night I dreamed that I was a porn star and a nuclear scientist. Times were tough on the porn star market and I found myself making a BBW movie. Yeah, that’s right I fucked a fattie on film. After that misadventure, I tried and tried to get a part in a regular porn flick featuring half anorexic chicks with large fake breasts but the door kept getting shut in my face. One director explained to me that fucking a fattie on film was a lot like starring in a gay anal fisting glory hole movie, once you have done that kind of shit, that is the only kind of work that you could do. But I was undeterred and kept trying to find a better gig than fucking fatties. Due to my diligence, I was finally offered a part in films showcasing barely legal teen asian amateurs with tiny tits and tight asses. I was loving it but one day the director threatened to fire me if I did not give up America’s nuclear secrets. I did not want to be a traitor to my country but I was deeply addicted to the upskirt barely legal bald beaver action and so I told them that I would. But no matter how fond I was of the tiny tittied, tight assed,barely legal teen asians, I just couldn’t let my country down. The Asians were upset that I did not hand over the nuclear secrets and I found myself bound and gagged by a large Dominatrix with HHH tits. She attached clamps to my nipples and pulled a leather paddle from a black case. While having my ass paddled, I saw in the corner of my eye an Octopus slithering across the floor. One of it’s tentacles wound around my leg and I could tell that it was just itching for some tentacle anal action.

I woke with a start and rolled over and patted my wife on the ass and made a solemn vow to myself. Never again will I go through the spam messages from my blog before turning in for bed.

18 Responses to “Oh What A Night”

  1. […] post by nipples – Google News and software by Elliott […]

    I have never been called nipples before. Maybe I have found a new user name. Nyah. – Pure Evyl

  2. LMFAO….didn’t see that one coming {probably not a good choice of word there!!}

    I don’t know. I think that it is an excellent choice of words. – Pure Evyl

  3. If this isn’t a search engine hit bonanza, then something is painfully wrong.

    That’s what I’m thinking. – Pure Evyl

  4. I hate the term BBW.
    Lovin’ the view on the picture though.

    I rarely use the term but it runs rampant in my spam comments. BTW, I love that you have gone back to your sweet little avatar pic. I wondered why you were using the multicolored bear when you had such a hot avatar. – Pure Evyl

  5. Ha! Flattery will get you everywhere, MrEvyl.

    I do try. Luv ya darlin’. – Pure Evyl

  6. Tentacle porn is real!?!….

    Why have I never heard of this?…I thought I heard and saw every kind of sick porno…Now I need to get Google working for me…

    Live action tentacle porn is extremely rare. And that’s a good thing. – Pure Evyl

    • dude im 19 and in the last year alone i have seen links to over 50 diferent live action tentacle sex vids it is mostly rubber suits and robots and stuff but it can’t be called hentai because it is not animated

  7. Loved the conclusion of this. Although through reading it I’m thinking, where does this one come up with this stuff? Good one, Mr. Evyl

    Thanks, I do not question how I come up with this shit. If I did I would most likely end up in a psych ward for the Criminilly Insane. Blogging is easier. – Pure Evyl

  8. Tentacle Porn is hot. I’m going to do a google search for sensitive, tingling tentacle lube.

    The oral part of tentacle sex always gets me. I find it strange when some big eyed hentai chick is sucking on the suckers. – Pure Evyl

  9. Doktor Holocaust Says:

    I always found it strange that tentacle-monsters were attracted to human women (or men, depending on which tentacle-porn you’re viewing).

    This reminds me of a dream I had where I turned into a tentacle monster yet could not find any women, and had to take tentacled matters into my own hands, so to speak.

    Hand in hand in hand. – Pure Evyl

  10. DUDE! That was an awesome dream. I would much rather be a struggling porn star than the boring assed smuck I was in my last dream. Granted its been awhile since a tenticle was shoved up my ass but the rest of it rocked. Ya know what I don’t get about tenticle porn? The obvious of course. What the hell is so enticing about some octopuss alian ravaging animated teenagers? I have no fucking idea…
    but I’m going to keep looking until I figure it out!

    Like you it might take many long nights of research to figure this one out. But Never say Die is my motto. – Pure Evyl

  11. greenmetropolis Says:

    My favourite invention of Japan is vacuum-sealed girls panties, attainable from vending machines.

    Used panties is a strange subject. For one of my prison stories on the subject click here. It might be worth a read. – Pure Evyl

  12. ummm….yeah… so one of my friends just texted me and asked me what i wanted for christmas as i was reading this. i instinctively answered “tentacle porn”… LMAO

    It’s my fave time of the year. Stuffing stockings and all. BTW, when is the last time that I told you that I loved you? – Pure Evyl

  13. Only you dude, only you . . .

    And that’s a good thing. – Pure Evyl

  14. greenmetropolis Says:

    Okay, my new favourite invention of Japan: Crazy fucking light up sex toys with all kinds of crazy attachments at 30,000 fucking RPM (I’m not joking) but the head of it has a fucking face because apparently the Japanese are not allowed to make it resemble an actual penis. That girl at the store knew her shit, yo.

    Woah, that’s some cool shit. They are now also producing a light up jack sleeve. I suppose it’s for giving enough light to illuminate a stroke mag. Better jollies through modern invention, It’s a great world in which we live. – Pure Evyl

  15. i think the last time you told me you loved me was yesterday so you owe me for today.

    have i told you lately that I love you?

    Consider yourself told. And I love you more. – Pure Evyl

  16. Oh gebus, I think I dampened my panties. *blushes* You’re a fucking genius!

    You are far too kind. But I thank you. – Evyl

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