Back From The Road With A Load Of Chode: not really but it does make a cool sounding title

Just a few thoughts from the road:

• Why do barflies make the best bar-maids? Is it because they are so used to looking like a two at ten and a ten at two?
• One of my favorite pastimes on road trips when I am driving alone is to turn off the radio and write really wretched country and western songs. I came up with a ‘great’ chorus on my drive home and thanks to a joke from Stef, I came up with the first verse. Perhaps I should make coming up with another verse the next freak of the week contest, although if the song hits the charts, I would have to share the big bucks with the winning verses. That would be a shame. Anyway here is what I have so far.

Crackwhores think I’m sexy, Some folks think that’s sick

Speccially when their teeth fall out as their suckin’ on my dick.

Crackwhores think I’m sexy, I kinda like it that way

I’m always gettin’ lucky even if I have to pay.

Crackwhores think I’m sexy and their not the only ones

Crackwhores think I’m sexy and so does your mom.

I remember that gal named Amber, in a glittery push up bra.

Her handjobs were divine and her bj’s were quite the draw.

And let me tell ya fellers, she’d be rich and fancy free

If that gal named Amber only had a woman’s pussy.

(repeat chorus)

• The teacher stated that I was the top in the class due to my ability to draw in a classes attention and my use of humor to relieve tension in even the most boring and serious of subjects. And I even had one hand tied behind my back since I couldn’t curse or get vulgar. That took away my best shit. Now I have my trainers certificate, perhaps I will try to check in to teaching at a community college for a little extra money. That could be good for a few laughs.
• On the second evening I was there, I discovered that from 5 to 7 down at the hotel bar, beer and well drinks were free. I don’t know that it was such a good idea because I was belching bourbon and coke until noon every day.
• There’s no place like home. (People look at you weird when you are wearing ruby slippers in strange places.)
• Buhbye for now. I am off to check my reader and will be visiting all of you soon. Check you laters and have a great Fourth of July Weekend.