Tales From The Wild: Episode III

Dateline Sunday Morning: 4:15 AM

Place: In My Tent

The  Cellphone rings disturbing the peace of my nylon fortress.

Caller: Hey Priscilla!!!

Evyl: I’m sorry you must have the wrong number. There is no Priscilla here.

Caller: Who is this?

Evyl: Who is this?

Caller: Crystal. Who is this?

Evyl: Not Priscilla.

Caller: I am not a retard. Fuck You!!! (Hangs Up.)

I didn’t have time to ask if her last name was Meth. She was much too energetic at four-fifteen in the morning.

Tales From The Wild: Episode II

Tent Makers should subscribe to truth in advertising. The number of people listed as being able to sleep in a tent should be normal average people not the number of manarexic gay midgets that a tent can sleep comfortably.

Tales From The Wild: Episode I

Last night as the world darkened, as the cool wind lightly fluttered the leaves of the cottonwood trees beside the banks of a crystal clear lake, I sat watching the dying embers of the campfire before turning in for a nights slumber under the stars. The world in which I sat seemed peaceful and content. The cicada’s singing their persistent and lonely refrain, when through the air a piercing declaration of ‘Oh My God, Oh My God’ arose from the lesbian couple four lots down in the campsite. I thought briefly of joining in their lakeside devotional but as my wife is firmly against organized religion, I simply sat and enjoyed the campfire as best I could.