Archive for the In The News Category

Fuck You Haiku: Ode To Grasshopper

Posted in Crazy Fuckers, famous people, Haikus, In The News, Tasteless Poetry with tags on June 13, 2009 by Pure Evyl

Some lessons cum hard

Choke your chicken not your neck

Goodbye Grasshopper

That’s What Forever’s For

Posted in Beer, Bullshit, In The News, personal thoughts with tags on February 10, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I read that the cost of US postage stamps are going up two cents in May. But ‘Forever’ stamps can be bought for the current 42 cents until the price hike takes effect. ‘Forever’ stamps costing 42 cents are valid until one runs out of the damned things.

To tell the truth, I don’t use snail mail enough to have a reason to jump up and down over ‘Forever’ stamps. But if they ever sell ‘Forever’ vouchers for Tequila, smokes, beer, beef jerkey, and lap dances, I will be doing one hell of a happy dance.

I’ll Buy That For A Dollar

Posted in Blog Babble, Crazy Fuckers, For The Freaks, In The News, On The Net with tags on January 20, 2009 by Pure Evyl

It seems that a 22 year old hottie from Nevada has put her virginity up to the highest bidder. Fox News reports that the highest bid so far is 3.7 million dollars. I’m all for the free market system but I do think that this shows how screwed up things are. There is no fucking way that I am going to pay that kind of money to someone that doesn’t even know what the fuck she is doing.

I don’t know what piece of ass would be worth that much money for one roll in the hay but I guarenfuckintee that she better know the ropes well enough to get a merit badge in fucking.

Thanks Steve for making me aware of this news.

Grab And Snatch

Posted in Crazy Fuckers, crime and punishment, In The News, On The Net with tags , , , , , , on January 13, 2009 by Pure Evyl

In Sydney, Australia, police are on the lookout for a sick twisted individual who is truly fucking up sex shops in the area. It seems the guy is ripping off blow-up dolls and taking them to the alley, blowing them up, abusing them (sexually), and leaving the poor defenseless dolls blowed up and blown in lying in the alley.

What gets me is that he is having sex with one model of blow up doll named Jungle Jane.

Poor Abused Jungle Jane

Poor Abused Jungle Jane

With all the variety of blow up dolls, why pick only one. Variety is the spice of life. Here is a small sampling of what the boring little fuck is passing up.

Hentai Hunching Action

Hentai Hunching Action

Upgrade To An Asian Model

Upgrade To An Asian Model

Alien? Three Tits? What's Not To Love?

Alien? Three Tits? What's Not To Love?

Midget Love Dolls - Less Blow For More Pump

Midget Love Dolls - Less Blow For More Pump

Handy Dandy For Shoplifters - The Pocket Pussy

Handy Dandy For Shoplifters - The Pocket Pussy

For The Man That Will And Has Fucked Everything - An Inflatable Love Lamb

For The Man That Will And Has Fucked Everything - An Inflatable Love Lamb

Click here for the odd news story from Reuters.

Call Me Dr. Feelgood

Posted in For The Freaks, Happiness, In The News, Medical, On The Net with tags on January 9, 2009 by Pure Evyl

I recently heard of a scientific study that proves what I have known all along. My cock is better than a happy pill.

These findings prove that splooge makes women happy. And hell’s yeah, I do love to spread happiness. Now if only they can prove that it’s effects are best when taken orally.

WTF News

Posted in Bullshit, Crazy Fuckers, From Blogs, Fun and Games, In The News, On The Net, personal thoughts, Popular Culture, Social and Politics, The End Of The World with tags , , on December 28, 2008 by Pure Evyl

I was reading where Madonna has been swapping spit with a 20 year old Brazilian model by the name of Jesus. Well at least he is young enough to be her son. Can’t say much about any other comparisons because just singing like a virgin ain’t gonna cut it.

Like A Prayer? More Like A Runaway Cougar.

Like A Prayer? More Like A Runaway Cougar.

I’ve noticed that President Elect Obama’s shirtless Hawaii pics are all over the freakin’ web. I have seen the headlines read everything from ‘Whoa Bama’, to ‘The Most Buff President Ever.’ I just don’t know if I want a President known for being the most buff President ever. I’d rather have one known for being competent.  But after looking at the pic, I couldn’t help but notice why all the female voters have been oohing and aahing. Presidential Mooseknuckle; Now there’s an election technique that you don’t see everyday.

Presidential Mooseknuckle

Presidential Mooseknuckle

All in all these stories left me disgusted but then I came across some entertainment news to put a smile on my face. It seems that Ashley Simpson’s babydaddy is giving reviews on the taste of her breast milk.

I Am So Glad That I Am Not Lactose Intolerant

I Am So Glad That I Am Not Lactose Intolerant

Merry Christmas Bettie Wherever You Are

Posted in famous people, Holidays, In The News, Thanks with tags , on December 12, 2008 by Pure Evyl

bettie-page-christmas

Bettie Page: “I don’t know what they mean by an icon. I never thought of myself as being that. It seems strange to me. I was just modeling, thinking of as many different poses as possible.”

More than an icon, Bettie Page is a legend of unsurpassed beauty and confident sexuality. Her image shall never fade. Goodbye Bettie.